Oculama

There's a nice story of a friendship/camaraderie forming here among all the action and intrigue happening in this comic. I didn't expect it to be a story of mutual support at the outset, but it was satisfying to see it become so.

Kudos also on some great wide-shots. This comic does hard work establishing the setting (various settings, even), and giving it physical dimension.

The expression on Bodo's face in that final panel is borderline haunting. Something in the combination of having the school's sinister intentions confirmed and seeing something like a lingering self doubt creeping into the shock he's already clearly seeing.

Great job cultivating a genuinely tense environment for this round. The setting starts to feel genuinely, chokingly enclosed once the flames start to spread, thanks to your compositions, and you nail the frightened/despairing expressions from the students, handily selling the terror of the situation.

That final shot of Em running back into the school is great both visually and thematically. The flames (and especially the SMOKE) look cool enough, and I dig how her hair melds into the flames int he lockers, but most importantly it's a redemption shot, which makes it feel all the more rewarding, even before the finale!

I'm enjoying the continuation of the narrative being set up over the course of the comics, and this feels like a great moment showcasing both Bodo and Ember acting like heroes, trying to save the other students. I liked the way that the elements were depicted here, both the fire and the snow. They had good texture to them, if that makes sense. The last page especially is really cool, and probably my favorite page of the comic.

I really enjoy how you managed to blend together the more serious and dark storyline from Ember's continuity with Bodo's more lighthearted tone without things feeling to jarring. Bodo stil has his comedy moments, and things still look very cute, but we get some real stakes to everything. A couple of the action shot panels in page 3 and page 6 get a bit hard to parse, so it could have benefitted from a splash of color in the fire to make it more distinct.

INKY!!!!!!!!!!!! Wow the art for this comic is so pretty haha, much more detailed and cleaner than your past rounds. I ADORE the texture you used for the snow, too!

I think my issues are with the writing of this round--- Bodo was indeed *in* the comic, but it felt like he had as much importance as the other cameos. It kinda felt like he only lead everyone to the fire and then failed to put out the flames; His interaction with Nina was also kinda short and only seemingly served the purpose of showing Ember's character development.
I think I would've liked to see Ember and Bodo's personalities clash a little more, or to have a more impactful moment where Bodo has to put aside his laziness to help people. (I think that's what you were trying to achieve with the scene of him trying to put out the snow, but *something* was missing. An extra emotional oomph, so to speak.)

Plus as an extra thing; While your art is more detailed, I feel like your panel compositions were kinda lacking this round. There's a lot of big panels with the detailed art of course, but there's less beats going on which makes the action less dynamic. I think I would've liked to see more of Nina manipulating the flames inside the school, or Bodo trying to make snow in the middle of a fire.

I do like how Ember has been developing in the tournament thus far though, and this round really does a good job of showing her growth. I'm so curious to see the end of this story :).

Hi moku :) Cool comic. Your art is nice and clean as always (although significantly less polished), and the story you went with was really unexpected; really love this set-up for Bodo's future character development, his denial of what is happening around him, and how you implemented a bit of Inky's plot into your story (plus I really appreciate you showing all sides of Ember's character in this comic; really shows why she is loved by so many people)

I think my main critique is mostly with the composition of your first page and the perspective of some of your panels.
The first page is very, very cluttered with panels. And while I understand it is meant to contrast similar events happening to Nina and Bodo, I feel like this could've been communicated with less images, maybe by combining the second and third panels from Ember's side, and the second and third panels from Bodo's side.
It would've also been nice to have the big panel of Ember appearing infront of Bodo centered, without the side panels, to show both the orange and blue side coming together. Heck, I don't think you even *need* the side panels! Just have that big panel be the one where Ember pressures Bodo, have a panel underneath showing her dragging him away, and have your two bottom panels to end the page.

Perspective wise, the panels that felt "off" to me are
- Panel 9, page 1: I can't tell if Bodo is still standing or laying down? His pose doesn't match the skewed perspective of the background; If he was meant to be leaning back from the light, he shouldn't lean that far back, he should be rotated to match how Ember is standing, and then have the top part of his body lean scrunch up to show he is trying to avoid the light.

- Page 3: This is less of a perspective issue and more of an issue of, you broke the 180 rule from panel 4-5. Could easily be fixed by just flipping the fourth panel.

- Panel 4, page 7: Your trees are flat and wayyy too curvy. From that perspective we should be able to see more of the leaves, and the trunks should be more like cylinders than planks. Sketch out your backgrounds by using 3-dimensional shapes like boxes and cylinders. Grids are your friend.

If i could give this comic 1000 stars just based on how fucking CUTE you drew Flygirl, I would do it. Holy shit. I will be real, when this is all done and you got free time you MUST fight kazar. Art wise I do believe this is your strongest comic in the Test so far, everything is so damn crisp and you're juggling so much going on in each panel. Keeping it all looking this nice is a big accomplishment. I think where the comic falters a bit is in the writing, this seems way more like something to hold us over until the finale, it's the sequel in the trilogy. I would have enjoyed having the two main characters interact with each other as a way to combat this part 2 feeling. But I do believe you wrote everyone very well, your characterization is on point but still very much you. It's a very very good comic. Great job!

Very nice comic. very nice. It's interesting I do believe you and Inky are the opposite in this battle. You're writing here is what I consider your star, I love how much you're integrating everyone's story into your own. It's been very fun to see how you've been juggling this given everyones drastic change of tone throughout the tournament. I think you do a fantastic job here at doing so, and we get so much of both characters. I think this match shows me what I want from your comics in terms of art. With you and Inky both doing the greyscale screen tones I makes me realize I want more darker tones from you. Either more spot blacks or a darker grey. Keeping it all close together means your art doesnt pop as much as it should. Big example is page 4 where the big establishing shot could pop way more if the shadows were more pronounced and didn't blend in with the panels overtop of them. It is still a very very good comic, I'm just nitpicking at this point. Very excited to see who wins this one cause it is Very very close in my eyes. Great job!

I like this! It carries over the tension from the previous Ember comic, and into the next, with Bodo and the rest of the student's well intended reaction the the Live becoming the source of danger (or I guess proximity to danger?). The in medias res thing was cool, though I didn't really expect its use given how the pace The Test comics can be a bit quick. Though I don't actually think it was distracting. What I know I like on the art side is how you retained visual clarity with the characters against fire even alongside your monochrome style. It can be really easy to depend on color too much for contrast, so seeing this was like "woah I want to do that!"

Like this! I really enjoyed the relationship between Bodo and Ember was made here! She's is a pretty vigilant character and I'm a big fan of how his ignorance (?) on all the crazy school stuff in the background played off of that. I think this is a really solid comic that helps develop Bodo's character trajectory for the future, and gives a graceful and heroic exit for Ember, I think! On the art side, I am also a big fan of your sense of paneling as well. Varied and clear to read, the frequent backgrounds ensured I didn't get lost on what was happening. I'd like to keep this in mind when I make comics for Oculama someday.

I will admit I wasn't following Ember's rounds as closely as other students, but boy did I make a mistake sleeping on this on-going narrative you have been spawning from Test 1 to this current Test entry, Ember's journey towards graduation has been an interesting one from being a bit overconfident and reckless in Round 1 (which almost lead to her failure) to stumbling on to conspiracy with the school staff testing experimental serums on students, and now ember coming into her own and saving fellow students from a burning school inferno. I have enjoyed your writing and character expressions, this has been a top tier story from start to finish, keep up the good work as we hopefully head towards the conclusion.

The expressions and grand scale of the backgrounds and environments have been a treat for the eyes, Moku I love your manga-like art style, and it shines with the characters emotional expressions, Bodo is a precious snow-bean, scratch that, a precious snow-man and I love to see more of him even beyond this tournament, I love the chemistry between him and Ember they go good together like Fire and ice, it really does feel like bodo can do anything, don't let the staff hold him down, he's a tough ice block to break, I was pleasantly entertained by these comics.

This comic has good tension and continues to be a solid visual feast. I am anxious to know what happens next. It's a shame though that for me, that anxiety is partly because unfortunately I think this is the weakest entry so far. The interaction with Bodo is so brief and interchangeable (as in, potentially anyone could have filled Bodo's slot and have the same results and role in the comic), it feels a little like filler for what is to come. And I am definitely excited to see payoff with all that's been set up in the tournament so far, but I wish there was more meat in this round as well.

It's cool to see you take in Ember's experiment subplot, and to see Bodo have to deal with some real danger now. There's some pretty good pacing going on here, good panel economy that lets you show and tell quite a lot for the page count, so big bravo points there. Some of the character dynamics are a little flat; I would have liked to see more of Ember's character growth through the tournament also applied here.

This feels like an excellent ratcheting of the tension. You've done a terrific job thus far tying all of the sessions together and I think you're demonstrating some terrific skill here. You're doing a great job demonstrating Ember's growth. The art here is super great looking - I adore these heavy inks you're doing as well, same with these tones. I am very excited to see more comics from Ember, whether in this tournament or outside of it. Excellent work!

I am glad to see something with a little more substance here this round with your story! It definitely is an interesting way to take the direction! Your tone usage still feels a little rough in some spots. You want the tones to enhance the line-art and a lot of it is a bit too faint and weak in a lot of those spots. However, your background and angle choices are really good - you have a great eye for direction. This was a super good read - great work!

I like that these comics you've been making this tournament are all structured such that they could actually be stitched together and read as one cohesive story. In round 1 and 2, there was some forward momentum in the story, however here it's spins its wheels a bit, however it does show Nina acting like a true hero, I guess most of all I hoped that there would be some hints at her dark backstory this far into the comics and we haven't got much of that yet.

I'm impressed that each round you've been adding new elements into your comics artistically, with round 2 adding in some screentones and here further adding more color (at least for the first couple of pages, I would have loved to have seen that carry out throughout the whole comic). You accomplish a lot of storytelling here in a small package, I hope to see a satisfying resolution to Bodo's character if you progress to the next round!

Is your name Inky cause of how DELICIOUS your inks are? I have a lot of respect for creators who are able to pump out BW comics with just inks and tones and yours turned out so polished! It's inspiring really. I don't really have any major critiques to give art or writing wise, to be quite honest. I'm just looking forward to see what happens at the end of this storyline! Hopefully things turn out all well in the end!

This was an interesting read! Your art style is very cute and I like the way you draw backgrounds. It doesn't feel too busy but not totally empty either to which I think drawing them as a lighter shade than the character/foregrounds was a smart choice. Helps the reader's eye focus in on what's supposed to be the center of attention and what not. A nitpick I have was that I think the tones could be a tad dark to help contrast things better and there have been times where the line art comes off more sketchy than refined. I'm gonna assume it's due to the time restraint since there's only so much you could do within a week. Nice job! Can't wait to see where this goes.