Oculama

“I AM SPYKE BAWLZ, IMMORTAL GODHEAD WARLORD MEGA BOSS-PIMP OF HOUSE BAWLZ, CO-FOUNDER AND CEO OF BAWLZ JUICE BEVERAGE CORPORATION, AND APOTHEON OF UR MOM’S HOUSE!!! BAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”

A member of a multitudinous hive race, the Apotheon Spyke Bawlz managed to enslave every single one of his brothers and sisters, whom he now exploits for the nonstop production of a natural secretion he has dubbed Bawlz Juice, which is sold as an energy drink. He considers all of his siblings co-founders of the Bawlz Juice Beverage Corporation, in which they each own 0.00000000000000001% of a share.

Bawlz Juice quickly became overwhelmingly popular, and the Bawlz Juice Beverage Corporation now has a complete monopoly, not just in the beverage category, but on everything. Bawlz Juice Beverage Corporation is the only company in existence, and as its CEO, Spyke Bawlz is worshipped as a god.

Most of the population of Spyke’s universe is addicted to Bawlz Juice. Because of this, their technology is all stuff a crackhead would jury rig together at 3 in the morning, but it’s miraculously efficient and effective.

Spyke’s body is composed of 70% Bawlz Juice. He’s extremely strong, fast, and durable. His bodily fluids can strip paint. He’s also a massive dickhead.