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Comic completed on September 19th 2022

Sparkle Magic Didi™

This comic is going to be so beefy, also I already know I love them both wow great job

GoldenOwl

This is gonna be a visual FEAST on both sides I CANT WAIT

Piñata

I love how every match with Lu just looks like her throwing the first punch in the banner XD I await the violence with bated breath!

Voting is closed.

Wolkemesser

This was an interesting little tale! I like the solidarity Lu and the wizard get at the end of this, and the idea of her seeking out a magical mentor is a great setup. It does feel a bit undeveloped in parts; Lu's magical abilities feel a bit ill-explored, as far as what she is able to do in understood, and the wizard's training doesn't feel like it leads organically to the twist of denial at the end. It's a great frame of a story, and it looks terrific as far as the art goes, I think it's only lacking a continuity of message throughout. You can probably trim quite a bit of fat from your dialogue too; a bit of pithiness will help your lines land more memorably.

Wolkemesser

Solid art, as always; the landscape shot on the top of page two is one of the best looking ones yet. I *would* be interested in seeing a greater diversity of landscapes moving forward in any future comics. The conceit of the size changing fruit gives the landscape a uniqueness to it, but the baseline of the environment feels very in-line with what we've seen already in this OCT, especially since adventure is such a big component of these comics. I do also feel there could be a greater feeling of intent in these comics. A lot of times what happens feels lacking in a *why*. The comics still work, but it could help the reader feel a bit more invested if you dug into motivations a bit more.

Pepper

Absolutely gorgeous art! Especially how beautiful the backgrounds look. Also the cute animals! I really liked the jokes in this comic. The perspective thing at the beginning was really clever, and the goofy size puns were fun.
I think my only criticisms would be: the bird showing up felt a little too convenient, but that wasn't the main conflict and it let you get to the fun stuff quicker so not a big deal. I think the rabbit busting out of the ground on page 4 felt a little bit static? The scene looks very peaceful, especially with all the empty space between Valaric and Lu. Making things more chaotic might sell the action better.
Both characters are very charming in this comic. I like how Valaric is a nice chill guy. The ending with Lu was also really fun and clever.

Pepper

Some really pretty background glamour shots here! You're really good at using color and light and shadow to set the scene emotionally. The beard pushups were a fun background gag.
I think something it would be good to work on is making your dialogue more punchy and concise. There's some places, like the training scene montage, where I think you could have cut down on words and let your drawings tell the story more. You also sometimes have characters just state how they're feeling in a way that's a little heavy handed- Your art is really good at conveying emotion, rely on that more than words!
I think Lu goes through a good character arc in this comic, and I liked the paralleling of Lu and Valaric's story. I thought the message of 'failure' being a path to a new beginning was very cool.

InkySlime

You're comics with Valaric have been a real treat and a a fantastic read. I look forward to their stories each time. I love the floating island establishing shot on page 2, wonderful set up. Just great Panel work through out the whole comic and your use of color to emphasize action and drama in the narrative was real nice as well. Your high action moments were nicely illustrated as well, very clear sense of what was going on in those panels. Right now, I don't have any other feedback to provide, you've done another really lovely comic and I'm looking forward to more.

InkySlime

Honestly, I think this is one of the strongest comics I've seen from you yet. The story is Solid, and I think really highlights Lu's growth, not only with their abilities, but with their character and sets that up future stories for that nicely. It was a really good use of valeric in the Guide/Wiseman archetype, and show's his own growth and a mutual connection through initial rejection between the two. I liked that aspect a lot. I was also pleased with how you used your color palette and use of solid blacks to add drama this round, it really added some depth to those moments. Excellent work all around dude.

Sparkle Magic Didi™

GOD DAAAAMN your environments never cease to amaze! They're gorgeous and really make it feel like Valaric lives in a dreamy fairy tale land and I am SO jealous of your ability to do that. I like the dynamic between Valaric and Lu, I could totally see them partnering up for more adventures! (omg can they?) And the floating island with magical fruit that makes you big or small and has tiny giraffes and huge bunnies is so fun and cute! I think that's my favorite thing about all of your comics, they're fun adventures! I don't think I really have much to critique, I just think your comics are neat. ♥

Sparkle Magic Didi™

I think I've said it every round, but Lu is just such a cool character. Your comics really feel like we're watching a hero's journey and I love it! Valaric feels like he would be a wonderful teacher. Your panels that have backgrounds look super detailed and rad, the settings all feel well done. I especially love how page 3 turned out, it looks very cool and builds up that tension well. I like those last couple shots of Lu entering the cave, it really does feel like it's leading up to something big, only for Lu (and us) to be let down! Well done. I'm super excited to see where Lu's adventures will take her next! ♥

Spiral_Joe

I'll get it out of the way immediately and just gush about the backgrounds. You really took advantage of the extra time and these background are just a treat, so much lush greenery really contributes to the vibe of a mystical forest full of mystery. Also love all differently sized animals, really situates the story within the setting you've created. The only critique I would have is that I would have liked to see Lu's unique characteristics factor a bit more into the story. The size changing fruit is totally in theme with the types of issues a questing wizard might face but Lu doesn't really feel like she gets much to do within the comic that she is uniquely equipped to deal with. All in all though, a very compact comic that sets up and pays off it's premise very well with a great final panel with impressive scale!

Spiral_Joe

Love to see a training arc! I think this a great example of the ways you can develop an OCT/OCL character by their interactions with other OCs. Positioning Valaric as the wizened teacher really fit and it made a lot of sense why Lu would seek him out. Additionally, the trial and the reveal that Valaric himself wasn't able to overcome it was surprising and really hit home the themes I think you were trying to get across. That being said I think the ending is a little bit overly expository but I ultimately I think it fits the questing hero vibe you've cultivated throughout the tournament so far. Finally, the colouring here is extremely good especially within page 3 the cave really feels like an epic trial built only for heroes. You also really took advantage of the extra time and put out a beautiful piece!

Morgan

Oh wow what a great looking comic! Your backgrounds are lovely and detailed as always and I really like this setting of the floating islands. It reminds me of one of my favorite movies Castle in the Sky. Valaric and Lu's interactions are pretty funny with Lu understandably being annoyed because she is so small for most of the comic. The big bunny is really cute as well! I don't have too mcuh else to say. I guess maybe have Valaric do something more? It feels like he spends a lot of the comic walking and is not as active as Lu is, but I think that's a minor thing

Morgan

You have a really cool style Camel and I like the way you shade the characters in your comics! This is overall a great submission and some of my favorite parts are the background on the first panel, the training montage in the second page, the mountain background in the third page, and the last page where Lu has her hair down and is looking really cool. Some of the pages do get a bit wordy though, mainly the 1st and the 4th. I understand due to the page limit you can't draw everything out, but maybe by condensing some of the dialog you can show more stuff visually.

Eric

You are an absolute madman when it comes to these backgrounds you're pumping out. They really are the stars of the show and I'm enamored with how you're pulling it off each time. The story likewise is very cute. I love that you're having all of these magical artifacts and reagents being collected by Valaric and it's really made for a great narrative thread for the entire tournament. Valaric has really grown on me for these little vignettes. However, I'm realizing that while it's good fun, it's kind of lacking the stronger narrative punch that some of the other participants have been presenting and that is making some of these a smidge formulaic in their setup now. I hope in the future we can see some longer form story-telling to get deeper into Valaric. This was a lot of fun though, you keep on pleasing. Great work!

Eric

An excellent comic. A masterful usage of 5 pages and one we will be point to for a long time as a rebuke to anyone who argues that 5 pages isn't enough space to tell a good story. You tell a story for both characters in such a tremendous way and hit the emotional beats very well. There's still a couple issues with your faces on occasion. Sometimes you have a more detailed close-up and it's probably the weakest part of the comic. I would say that a less-is-more approach would work for you a whole lot better, especially when you already convey a lot of emotion with those simpler faces. On the whole, you did so much of this perfectly. Lu's a great character. Terrific work!

Rivana

Arkeis - lol, I love how you put Lu in Captain Skyheel's shoes per their last battle. Again, the environments are beyond gorgeous. I'll never get tired of staring at them (first panel in page 2 and first panel in page 3 are my faves). This is a nice little adventure between Valaric and Lu that is reminiscent of Alice in Wonderland in some way. Though I kinda wish that Valaric was able to showcase some of his cool moves as well. I also want to see more of this world. It looks so whimsical and terrifying at the same time (that bird feeding a tiny elephant to its young was trippy af).

Rivana

Camel - Lu's journey in this tournament was such a sight to behold - not just aesthetically with your art but also the character development is off the charts. It's impressive considering that you're limited to five pages for each round. Page 2 seemed to be lacking some backgrounds (I think some tones/gradients would have helped if time is of the issue) but overall this comic is so beautifully done on all accounts. Love the twist at the end with Valaric's revelation. I am also fully invested in Lu's journey. I hope you continue show us this wonderful tale in Oculama!

Piñata

ARKEIS-
I like that you've taken a more fantastical approach to your backgrounds this go around. The floating land masses and tumbling waterfalls made for a fantastical establishing shot. The set up for your tale by hinting with tiny giraffes, or canary's feeding their babies mini elephants was a nice subtle nod.

Valaric using his beard for hilarious ends is now my favorite thing. The beard lasso is some 100% Batman utility belt goodness. I'm left wondering how many methods this wizard can concoct for his beard to get him out of a bind. If there was one note I'd give its that I don't feel there was any chemistry between LU and Valaric. Not that they have to be positively inclined but I wish the outside elements that caused them trouble were more of a vehicle for them to get to know one another than drive them apart.

Piñata

CAMEL-
Long form narrative across rounds in a tournament is no easy thing. Only the bold undertake it and you sir, are very bold. I have been loving Lu's whole journey through the Inaugural. From the heroic highs to this lowest low that she has to seek out a Yoda figure to build herself back up. And it doesn't get more wizened than Valaric. I dug that this isn't some holier than thou teacher but one whose seen hardship and can relate to Lu's sense of failure. I love the message magic is a muscle- too true! Or at least ho I'd use it in my own lore and comics. I was hoping for a magical Rocky montage and you delivered. Honestly your storytelling and character breakdowns has been some of the best work I've seen in this tourney. Icertainly hope you make it to the end and give us Lu's ending. Cheers!

komo

Your comics are always a treat for the eyes and I don't think that can be stated enough! The setting here is also really cool and I like the bits of worldbuilding you managed to fit in only a few pages. don't have too many suggestions, though I noticed Valaric didn't use any magic this round. In the first round he used Water, and then Lightning, so it would make sense to show another element? Well I guess you don't want to make the comics too formulaic but I just like cool magic I guess. Anyway outstanding job on this one and I'd love to see more from you!

komo

This comic really delved deep into Lu's character more than even your previous comics, which is great. Valaric playing the role of the wise old mentor figure training Lu gives me the vibes of all those Chinese martial arts movies. And of course the art is great too just like in your previous comics. If I had to make a suggestion, it would be to add backgrounds into the training montage panels. You had some beautiful bgs elsewhere, so it would've been nice to see more of them in this entry. Anyway Lu is a real interesting character and I'd love to see where she goes from here.