Oculama

As it was in the previous round, this is a lovely looking comic. The ink-work is looking seriously great and the color choices, layout, all of it is really coming together in a great way. It's just a gorgeous looking comic. BANTO is a great character and a real stand-out in this tournament. The Eastern Mysticism really is working for me still and you pull it off exceedingly well.

While I loved continuing the little story and mystery of BANTO and their frog, the ending was a little strange and had some issues. Florida didn't actually destroy the train, which Bama would be aware of since they were there when it happened. Florida had even saved them. As such, it felt a bit like because you had a good idea for a betrayal, you needed a reason. While that idea is sound, it didn't exactly work due to the issue of how it was executed - the internal logic leading there wasn't working for me.

However, this was a terrific comic. No idea who will ultimately move on but whether you do or not, I severely hope to see more of you participating on the site sooner than later! Excellent work!

On the whole, you continue to do some very nice work. Every time I read it, you don't disappoint with regards to the quality you put out, each one is a consistent and finished product. That feels like something that could probably be attributed to how effective your style and coloring schemes are for making comics looking as nice they do each time.

That being said, there is a real desire to see more development. Stronger line control, colored lines, more developed shadows. Your coloring style doesn't really lend itself to having any super defined shading due to the way you do that splatter paint, but it makes your lines stand out a bit as being empty and without textures. I think improving your line-art will pay dividends for you with that style. Perhaps involving some solid black shadows would help your style go even further. However, despite all the suggestions, your comic does look very good.

The story is quite good as well - the cliffhanger ending was terrific and has me curious where you'll go with the final round if you progress. Really good world-building and character development from our core cast involved. You should be happy with this one, you really pulled off a stellar one. Excellent work here!

The paneling in this is incredibly strong, its borderless panels all hit extremely well and the shifting of scenes feels very cinematic. This helps when the last pages introduce such a big visual fantastical element, making the bounty poster feel close to diagetic without going completely silly. For critique, the sequence in page 16 is incredibly tense, but the moment where Findlay and Banto stop and stare at each other breaks the momentum a bit without adding much to the tension. The ending of the page still works perfectly, but keeping up the energy or a more intense angle for the silent standoff might have made it even stronger.

This comic is incredibly ambitious, and while I feel it stumbles in a couple places, it still ends up a very strong tale. A lot of this storytelling feels like it's being told through the coloring as much as any character, with the focus on various blends of red making for very effective contrast between both characters. The double page fold effect works sometimes and doesn't others: I wish it was a bit more consistent, and took up the whole page rather than only where art was present. It actually made me notice the other oddity: while this comic has large borders, it practically never uses gutters. Sometimes the page feels a little cluttered! But the story comes through just as strong even so.

The artwork is pretty good, though some parts could be cleaned up a bit. There are quite a few spelling mistakes that make it feel a little rushed and could have been fixed with better editing. The action is exciting, but the ending is confusing. Both characters seem to die, so it’s not clear who would move on to the next round. With clearer writing and more polish, this comic could have been much stronger.

The art in this comic looks great and the use of specific colors for fight scenes really helps tell the story. It was cool to see old characters come back, which made everything feel more connected. It’s sad that Banto loses his friends, but the twist at the end, when Bama kills Mr. Findlee instead, is really powerful. It shows that Banto isn’t the killer everyone thinks he is. The story is emotional and well told. I'm curious to see how Banto plans on getting his frog back.

There are many layers of setup and payoff that work very well in this monkey western drama. No one is as they first seem, and the paradigm shift on page 16 is punctuated with a bold, red background. The page-to-page suspense thereafter is gripping! You keep doing very well with your compositions and how they communicate your story. The color choices and framing feel very deliberate. It's a different take on dumfwog's version of Pale Ape, but it serves Florida's plot well.

Can't get over how cute that birb is. Generally, this comic has a rusty dusty feel to it with its muted lines that feels extremely fitting for the setting. The loving detail on those monkey faces really sells their expressiveness. Pale Ape is clearly the hero of the story, and its interesting to see how the line between reality and spirituality is blurred, like a folk-tale. I was looking for a bit more nuance and depth to the supporting cast. Overall, a solid, polished comic.

The action in this one was fun, but the ending left me kinda confused. It looks like both characters die? So I’m not really sure who’s supposed to move on, if anyone. What really pulled me out, though, were the spelling mistakes. There were enough of them that it made the whole thing feel a bit rushed, like it needed another round of editing. With some tighter writing and a bit more polish, this could’ve really hit harder.

The story actually hit kind of hard, especially that twist at the end when Bama ends up killing Mr. Findlee instead of Banto. That moment really stuck, it shows Banto’s not the bad guy everyone thought he was. It was also cool seeing some older characters come back. Made the whole thing feel more connected, like it’s all part of a bigger world. And yeah, it sucked that Banto loses his friends, but it gave the story a lot of emotion.

Awesome job on this, Ninja! A very enjoyable read, I like how you continued off well from your previous comic, does a lot for the continuity of it all. The confrontation between Florida and Banto was done good, thank you for the shout out to our ol' Sam! Only real writing critique is that you didn't really incorporate Banto's specific speaking style but hey, it doesn't take too much away in the end.

In terms of art, great work overall and some neat panelling; especially with that ending page. Oh yeah, can't really spoiler this so I'll just say very brave choice with that ending, excited to see where it could potentially lead to for the finale.

Banto rides again! Really great work, dumfwog! Absolutely amazing art throughout, that scene under the water is so cool! A real intriguing story you've built up with this, very interested in how all the moving parts would come together if you make it on further. If I gotta critique, guess it would be that Florida is a bit one note in this and just sorta serves the story but you give them their dues with some cool action so can't complain really.

Last message has to be: get that frog back, Banto! :sobbing_emoji:

Holy heck those are some impressive backgrounds especially for two weeks! You're really good with creating dialogue exchanges though a lot of them feel like they're missing information in a way I can't quite pin. Florida has a lot of implied history, which is usually used in this way to convey a more comedic running gag. At this point we've had little understanding of Florida's connection to Lucille and the other apes, should you continue I hope all of it gets wrapped up or explained because like I said, I am definitely intrigued. One thing I really love about this comic is the verbal irony of Florida saying he doesn't turn the people he saves into killers, only to have the ape he saved kill Banto, that wasn't lost on me and it got me good!

Mini speculation time I wonder if Florida has a special ability where he's incapable of being hit if shot at because everyone's missed him when firing at him and I was expecting that to happen here and maybe it did which means Bama shot Florida instead as he wasn't aiming for Florida!

You really give that old west vibe to the setting and I absolutely love how you've taken the theme by the horns for this tournament. Some of the panels feel a little too close up and the story felt a little rushed despite it being 20 pages thought for two weeks it's understandable. Pacing was always gonna be a huge hurdle in this tournament and telling a whole western in at most three rounds is a tall order for anyone. I like how Banto is powerless to his ape nature and must take a bath before doing anything I thought that was a funny touch.

My apologies if this is not the proper format for these, I’m new to this review format.

Artwork:
The artwork worked, until I read the opponent’s comic. I realized that art can be good, passable OCT art on its own, but it can also pale when compared within a tournament bracket. My favourite panel was when Banto was framed in a red circle, like the Japan flag. It also felt as if the architecture of the house shifted halfway through, introducing a large Wall on both sides of the door. I realize now that this is likely meant to be the back of the house, but it threw me for a loop in the moment, and could have been easily remedied with an original establishing shot instead of a copy-paste of the opponent’s establishing shot from the first one. Some more work on Form would really help your work, especially with the flat floating sunglasses when he’s lying in the pool.

Writing:
If we can critique artwork for messy lines or perspective that pull you out of the moment, can we critique writing for messy grammar and spelling that has the same effect? I was hit with “A shinning pillar of morality” right in the middle of a dramatic moment, and it took me out of it. If the artist didn’t care to proofread, why should I care? At the same time, I was hit with a warped re-telling of the events at the Capuchin village. I was struggling with whether this was Florida gaslighting Banto, or if I simply misread the original. In all though, I enjoyed your characterization of these monkeys, I enjoyed the quiet moment with alabama, but was left a little wanting with Florida.

Entertainment:
As an entire package, it was good! I was given some genuine moments of suspense, and a single punctuating moment of action that felt earned. A solid tale told to it’s conclusion. If that’s how you define a story, it was great! In comparison though, I didn’t feel any real sense of place. I didn’t end up caring about who wins or loses. I know it’s an intangible thing to quantify, but it feels like an important aspect. It kept me off my phone for five minutes, at least. Great work!

Again, my apologies if this is not the proper format.

Artwork:
I went back and read some of the first round reviews, and somebody said it looked like old Japanese prints. I never realized that until they pointed it out, and I’m still not sure if that was intentional or not. I enjoyed the ultrawide closeups of eyes, a very western composition you see in all the old pana-vision Leone films, zooming in to show the grit around Clint Eastwood’s eye folds. Felt like a book that I might pick up in a store, flip through, and say wow, what a great creative direction. But to learn that this was done by a single person in two weeks is a phenomenal feat, and still so polished. Some of the forms are off, but perhaps that’s the only lens I have to view art with, so my critique of both has become “look at Form, lol.”

Writing:
It felt like the Visuals came first in this story, like the writing was an after-thought, a vehicle with which to draw cool monkeys in dramatic contexts. You might benefit from partnering with a Writer that can create some dramatic scenarios for you to draw around, as the art is some of the best I’ve seen around here. I enjoyed a lot of the quieter moments that you don’t really see in these breakneck speed tournaments. A very eastern take on a western? If that’s not stupid to say? It gave me a chance to breathe, at a slower pace that my dumb brain can understand. The color storytelling was also used effectively, something hard to describe until you see it done right, which you did.

Entertainment:
The storytelling on the surface was a generic western, but the storytelling below the surface worked SO well, it makes up for it. The worldbuilding, the side characters, the link between spilled berries and spilled gun casings? The Blackberry poem? Wtf? Was this intentional? How did you make me care about a stupid ape who barely says anything at all? At the end of the day, this is a visual medium, and on that front you killed it. I really hope I get to see how this one ends!

The artwork within a stranger in Lucille is quite spectacular. I think that artist exceptionally utilized colors to develop the tone and underlying intensity of the piece. The comic was engaging, polished, and entertaining. Overall, I think this was a fun read that kept me wanting the remainder of the story. This comic has the perfect balance of outstanding artwork with a captivating story. This was one of the more enjoyable comics I have read recently.

Although it begins with a strong visual and title, the story quickly becomes hard to follow. The characters feel flat with dialogue that doesn’t add much. While the art has bold colors, many scenes look stiff and repetitive. The comic doesn’t do enough to make the world feel alive or the danger feel real. Overall, it has potential but needs clearer storytelling and more engaging characters. The ending was quite lacklustre and frankly did not contribute to an engaging read.

Guess Florida should have kept an eye out for Banto.

Compared to last round you do got some better compositions here.
That first big panel overlooking the valley was nice. You even have a bit better texturing and shading. Things look a bit more subtle and natural in the nature scenes. You could use some work on things like objects and some perspective. The guns look kind of like lumps and are drawn inconsistent between pages; it's mostly noticeable cause guns are so prominent in a western story.

The writing has a bit more oomph this round, switching from action to a more calm(until it isn't) and philosophical story. You did miss an opportunity in having Banto use his crow translator, since he's shown to not speak english super well in the first round. Kind of a character break on that one. I do think Florida is written kind of inconsistent though. He went from being violent and amoral in the first round to for some reason caring that Alabama lived and in this round he's lecturing Banto on morality despite showing very little himself. It does make Florida sound hypocritical; but that could be the point of having this bloodthirsty killer trying to justify his own crimes by talking down others.
I will say the actual death of both? characters was a shock, but also confusing how it went down. I read the pages over and over and still couldn't see how or when Banto got shot. I guess it was Alabama doing the shooting since he had the gun at the end. But it's drawn so weird its confusing as to what's actually happening.
Though if the ending isn't a fake out and it's just Alabama who's the character we're following now that's a bold choice.

Ya'll same brained on the Bama twist.

This was another solid entry. The art was a bit rougher this time around but there was still some good layouts and colors to keep things looking good. I just assume time was a factor more this round.

The story was pretty neat. You had some fun bits with a pretty expressive Floridas in there. The characters do feel a bit broad and simple but granted Florida being a kill crazy ape is on brand and Banto still being the stoic reluctant badass does make these comics have a pretty strong since of tone that fits a western.
Looking forward to seeing if Banto gets his frog friend back.

A definite competitor here however fell short on the art in comparison. The writing was also good! Consistent but I didn't feel the wow factor. I did however have fun reading this one and I definitely want to see more from this artist in the future! I liked the use of the heavy colors and fun style but I don't think it held up against the grit of the competitors work. really hoping to see more come from this one though!

An absolutely incredible work of art. The cover itself had me hooked the second I read it. I think if I had a bit more context on the characters I'd have enjoyed it a bit more - but the fun wild west theme of this really gave me something to look forward too. combing the animal aesthetic with something as serious as this - it had me thinking one thing at the end and that's "Where Frog"

It's so tough for me to compare these two, they're so similar. I think the writing is slightly stronger than dumfwog's entry, but dumfwog's art is much much stronger so that one is the winner for me between the two. However Ninja's entry is stellar in and of itself and he should be very proud. You did a great job portraying the cold fury of a righteous man, and also my heart broke a little for Alabama at the end. Keep it up!

Gorgeous art, compelling story (even in such a short format), and characters that are my favorites of this whole contest so far. If I didn't know this was an online contest for amateur artists, you could have told me Banto was a published comic and I would have easily believed you. I can tell you right now that I am going to NEED a tshirt or something with the "Where frog" panel on it. Great stuff, dumfwog!

This comic was by far the most on-brand Vine Noon comic of the lot. Peak art. Peak drama. Covers on point. Poster boy material. Could be pitched as a standalone series with minimal edits. Your designs wouldn’t look out of place with an Image Logo emblazoned in the corner of your covers as they currently exist. *Polished.* I can’t say the same about your competition.

I can feel your heartbeat pulsing in the margins. It was the only comic that felt alive, like the world would continue to exist after I left. I was transported away in a truly imaginative experience. It’s also interesting to note that this is the only time we actually get a glimpse of the town everybody’s been travelling to.

You have a way of placing objects in people’s hands that I also wanted to note, but I’m not sure how to articulate it properly. The word hypotyposis comes to mind, where you force the reader to look through the character’s eyes to bring a feeling of immediacy to the art, at the gun in Banto’s hand, or the berry between his fingers. I'm sure that makes zero sense, but you hit the edge of something larger here that might be worth exploring.

Every other tiny picky thing I noticed is just that; a tiny picky thing. Nothing that couldn’t be fixed with an experienced editor and a few more days. Nothing gamebreaking. I can see your heart, and the potential locked inside, and that's what matters most. I have reserved a special place in my own heart for that frog and that bird. There remains an intangible vibe here, that, if sharpened and attended to, could become a true force of nature. You should DM me, I'd love to chat!

Perhaps the best way to start this review is with that old and tired Aristotle quote that you may have heard before; “a convincing impossibility in mimesis is always preferable to an unconvincing possibility”.

When comparing both works, it becomes clear that this is the front of their opposition. One work clearly logically flawed, yet full and alive, dripping with love and gentle artistry.
A Convincing Impossibility.

The other is logically sound, and reaches the bar it set for itself, yet remains hollow.
An Unconvincing Possibility.

I am simply not convinced that this world exists. It feels like it would shatter if interrogated an inch in any direction away from the direct needs of the story, like I would turn around and see only a blank page. Perhaps the initial bar was set too low, and the problem remains in the ability to set higher bars. To dream bigger. I’m hesitant to say it lacks passion, but there is a level of love and attention that remains unlocked inside you, but that’s completely okay. Many are similarly afflicted.

I’m not sure how to coax this love out of you, but I would love to try.

Rick Rubin’s book would be my first recommendation, specifically page 215, titled Greatness. Take a step back and give it some thought. Really. A lot of good ideas in there. Even if you just picked it up off the shelf and read it in the aisle, it’s only a few pages! “Instead of focusing on what making this will bring you, [winning a competition] focus on what you contribute to this art to make it the best it could possibly be, with no limitation.”

I love your work, Ninja, and I want to see you succeed on all fronts. At the end of the day I’m here to try and elevate and motivate my peers towards our collective love of comics. I have seen momentary flickers of your passion, and I’m eager to watch you grow into it, and realize what you truly need to do to become great.

a good step forward from last round. This one feels more compelling story wise, and it's nice to see what feels like some more thought put into the panelling with the wanted posters.

I feel like both comics in this round have a characterization issue with the opponent. Findelle was introduced to us shooting and robbing people, and while he doesn't seem to be a straight villain he also isn't a hero. Banto has a more heroic role and I think running Florida as the heel here could've been a more interesting route we don't see often. However I do think the interaction between the characters as you wrote it was still good. With the way you wrote Banto I think the way you styled him as well was cool, page 15 having some Vampire Hunter D vibes on him. Looking sinister.

Interesting hooks for next round in here though with Florida leading Bama the wrong way, and with the outcome of the duel.

Another fun entry that feels like there's a whole world here. Consistent with the good colour work too.

I like how you've a whole side plot going on that you get your opponent OCT character into in a fitting way that focuses a conflict between the two characters. Especially when it has them getting into conflict in a way that's not just the usual "they meet, they fight/argue, they part" which definitely shows writing chops. However, it is worth it to note the train crash in Floridas previous round was not caused by him, although he was shooting and robbing the train and did let it crash and burn while only saving the one ape convenient and close to save. I also think while Findelee is a morally grey character I could see taking the deal in this comic, I think having him straight slapping around the guy he did save and give a proper pep talk to was a bit of mischaracterization. Bama shooting Florida was an interesting twist I didn't see coming but on top of the mischaracterization and the train mixup I think you needed something a little more to justify it. Does make me wonder your reasoning for Banto never shooting anyone. Also love the fistful of dollars reference. Woo Westerns!

Some really good panelling throughout. I love the pages where there's no words and the art is allowed to breathe. Even when the excerpt comes in, it being not something diagetic still helps it feel like breathing room. Smallest nitpick of mine is Floridas death face could've been as exaggerated as some of his other faces in this comic and it is the send off of a character. Going forward too I would also say to look into lettering for sound effects, I feel you could make the firing of guns feel a bit more explosive if you lean into upping that part of your game.

Great overall, would like to see what you have in store for Banto

This comic absolutely nails what great storytelling should look like. There’s no filler, no wasted space—just a super tight, well-paced plot that keeps things moving while still hitting all the right emotional beats.

The real standout, though, is the character work. Every character feels real and grounded, with clear motivations and growth that actually makes sense. Even the smaller side characters feel like they matter. There’s a ton of personality packed into every interaction, and somehow it all still feels natural.

This comic definitely has a lot going for it. The plot is tightly structured, with a clear sense of direction and momentum that keeps things engaging from issue to issue. It doesn’t meander or lose focus, which is refreshing, especially in a medium that can sometimes get bogged down in exposition.

The art is especially great, though i think your opponent's story is slightly more well written and entertaining overall. A few standout moments really land emotionally, though!

I was really impressed with the story and writing here, by having Florida dissect Banto's character and actions and having them call them out, and also developing Bama into more than just a bystander in the previous entry, this is really strong stuff and IMO the best you've done in the tourney thus far. And special shout out to the great panel layout, direction and color story on page 14. Excited to see where this goes, ya'll made this tournament veeery hard to vote on this round.

Once again, continuing this tournament with a banger comic, with fantastic art, and a great arc that is slowly winding up with a riveting hook for a final chapter. The characterization of Florida is a bit odd, you dialed up the murderous intent and villainy on Florida a lot more than in they are in their comics, now usually I dont hold too fast to the notion that depicting your opponent's character as they intended is objectively good - its adaptation, and what matters is how they fit into your world. But this does make things a bit awkward as you are transplanting the arc that Ninja has been building into the story here by including the train and Bama. I think hewing more closely to Florida's character as is established would've made this a bit more cohesive.

( Ninja agreed to this )
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I love the dialogue! I like how the characters bounce off each other. I love the paneling and page composition! Especially that spread in page 13!

The way you compose your panels, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, very clean, very crisp. Chef kiss. I did have a bit of an issue with readability in page 5, regarding where Florida's speech bubble was placed in panel 3, it's a bit confusing, buuuuuuut overall it's still a nice comic!

Thumbs up emoji!