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Your art is a lot rougher, clearly meant to be more finished, but perfectly readable nonetheless. I was looking forward to seeing a color comic from you after seeing Rabbit Knight’s character banner image, but the somewhat crude drawing style suits the subject matter here, and the comic is probably funnier for it.
Casting your opponent as Lenny is funny, but I didn’t get a sense for either character’s personality so much from this comic. I enjoy that you went ahead and just killed your opponent here (or hell, maybe he’ll get better, who knows?), but the gnomes had more agency than your own character. Some more action on Rabbit Knight’s part would have upped the humor. As it is, I’m not really sure what Rabbit Knight did to enable the gnomes’ revenge. It seems the gnomes could have handled Howitzer themselves. Still, Rabbit Knight’s reaction to the gnomes just stone cold murking that dude is funny.
Writing and pacing wise, this is a great example of, to my mind, a pretty much perfect short battle comic. Without knowing much about either character, I found myself reading their dialog in two distinct voices, and got a good feel for who both of these characters are, just from this brief encounter.
It would have been nice if you’d managed some tones or color, but executing a complete 3 page lineart comic in a week is no small feat, which brings me to my next point.
The way you played on your opponent’s character for that last gag is so, so good. The way Rabbit Knight is knocked into the tree and just lies there still carrying on the conversation, unable to move, is great. I would not want to be immobilized and fully aware at the mercy of this sweaty meat mountain.
All in all a fantastic first round, can’t wait for the next one.
You're artwork is (as always) absolutely tremendous as a vehicle for the blend of violence and humour at play in this comic. The real visceral stuff is well balanced, and never feels overwrought, even when things get gruesome. The only notes I have really are to do with clarity: 1) the nature of the trap that Henry trips is a bit unclear (rope? why is it snapping?) and 2) Does the rabbit knight die or just lose a foot? I love the discretion shot, but with this sort of tournament-style comicking; the ambiguity leaves me a bit longing. The story is otherwise nicely paced and engrossing, so take these more as observations than actual demerits to what is a real treat of a comic!
Your linework is really interesting, and I love the effect when you do the close-ups on characters or details in the comic; it has a gravity to it that I find compelling. There is a tendency to lose clarity of detail/ depth for the more zoomed-out panels, but that's not really a huge issue. I also like all the references (Mice and Men, Monty Python) you wove into the story; they work really well for the character matchup here. My only concern therewith is that it leads to an ending that feels a bit...deus ex machina, in a not-so satisfying way. I feel sad rather than amused after the bomb bit, and it feels a bit arbitrary of a way to polish Howard off. That last is mostly a subjective take though, and doesn't subtract at all from the fact that you've packed an awful lot into these five pages, and it is, by and large, really quite fun.
I liked the art for this, it was very cartoonish and goofy, fitting for the loveable, cannibalistic lud. Personally, I really like the minor background details, such as the posters referencing other characters. The paneling I thought was very creative, and did a good job of providing a sequence of action. I thought the story was short and simple, but it's dark humor was brilliant. Havok is a brilliant combination of hilariously charming and horrifyingly evil. When I realized the meaning of the final panel on my second read-through, I immediately chuckled. All in all I very much enjoyed this comic, it was hilarious to read.
I liked the sketchbook/paperesque feel the comic had, with a pen/crayon drawing and black chalky borders between panels. The humor writing, though, was absolutely top notch. I thought the Looney Toons reference was hilarious and fit perfectly for Havok, and the ending was dark comedy at it's absolute best. Of course the gnomes were also funny as hell as background characters, and setting the comic in the city is the perfect tie-in with Havok's backstory. I also loved Rabbit Knight, who just has this overwhelmed, tired hero energy, that he tries his best but is overwhelmed by the brutality and absurdity of the situation.
I always really like how you add a lot of little details into your art! Also really liked the expressions here, especially the "dat tickles" panel. The posing on the third page where Rabbit Knight gets folded like leaf was fun too! You've also lot of cool paneling going on, especially page 2.
I feel like the grey panel borders look a little weird with the black and white art? It might look nicer to use solid black or white. I think the coloring on the first page looks a little odd, too, and might be less jarring with the black and white if it was less saturated?
This is a fun story with a good, satisfying twist end. I really like your dialogue here: "An altogether quicker critter" has a nice musicality to it. I like how brutal and grody you can get with your comics, and I love it when people are willing to fuck up their own characters for the sake of a story. Also hell yes, references, love to see you bouncing off other people's ideas.
I really like the opening shot of the city! I also like how you use camera angles and pose things in really cool ways, like the way Rabbit Knight slams on the ground on page two. I also like the background jokes you've included, like "splash zone" is really funny.
There are a few panels where things are kind of sketchy and harder to read? Also I feel like the paper texture you used is a little distracting, it might be a good idea to lower the opacity on it a bit?
Tons of good jokes stuffed in here! I like how you roll from one ridiculous situation to the next in a way that feels natural. I'm also a big fan of any comic that ends with the hero just walking away from the situation in disgust.
Artwork - It looks unfinished but there's a certain charm in the way you do your pencils. It looks really nice and the readability hasn't suffered. I can only imagine if you had enough time to finish this with inks and all.
Writing - I think this is where you shined. You set us up with this brooding Knight-figure contemplating on the next heroic endeavor he was about to take but then instead of being the savior he became the 'BNUUUY' pet of this terrifying giant of a man. It's hilarious how the Rabbit Knight just watched helplessly as this group of gnomes lay waste to The Havok.
Entertainment - As you can tell, I thought this comic was hilarious. I always love it when the comic does something unexpected. Well done!
Artwork - Your style reminds me of old school illustrations in books. It looks plenty detailed without being over the top. Really nice use of lines - straight , squiggly and otherwise - to denote texture and detail. I really loved that. I'd say there is some wonkiness in the anatomy in some places but I also think it comes/fits with the art style you got going so this may not be a valid crit after all. The pop of red in certain panels was also a nice touch.
Writing - I think your writing is really good! It started pretty tame, almost cute and heartwarming. I love how it slowly escalated into something more sinister and that brutal fight scene. Whoa! I thought the irony in the ending was very clever.
Entertainment - I think this was a SOLID comic. I was hoping the Rabbit Knight put up more of a fight though. Nevertheless, It was well paced and the way you arrived at the ending was really well thought out. I loved that 'A-ha!' moment so much!
SLoof, you have such a neat way to draw expressions and it comes ot play a lot in this comic. I like the crispness and easy to read lineart, and again I love how you make the expressions. The one thing that comes to mind is that you go really hard on detailing certein aspects of the enviroments but not others. And sometimes the negative space left untouched feels disconnected and unfinished with the rest of the panel (In some cases, it works such as by the trees on the first page.). The story is a neat, self contained little thing which I appreciate, with the promise of our multiverse about to get a lot less safe. I also enjoy the way you avoided just eating the poor dude. That is quite the souvenir.
A solid comic! I quite enjoyed the first pages of it. The comic gets harder to read the further in you get to it and I understand this might be the result of running out of time. What I did make out of it was a good idea that puts me into the mind of one particular monty python sketch. For a lot of the comic, I think what I would suggest is to simply work on cleaning up your lines a little bit, and to invest more time into making the comic easier to parse. Your action scenes are strong, and would be even stronger with a little more clear linework.
SLOOF-
The expressions on this big lug is much of what I want and expect. The big brows, the slow and ponderous smile and laughter. Henry is a big slow lad and isn't afraid to show it XD Though not so slow he can't recognize a trap. hilarious despite that being peckish takes priority.
Dig the stakes here with Henry losing quite a bit of fingers and coming away with quite the prize. I certainly hopes the dings and scrapes he picks up carries through your battles. It'd be neat to see a grizzled battle-scarred character four or five comics in.
SAVERIN-
I'm uncertain if this is prelim sketch work or your final iteration. Either way I appreciate that the elements are still clear and easy to read. I especially dig that opening cityscape. You really went ham on this olden timey village look with something of a high fantasy feel.
Haha I was wondering if the Looney Tunes nod to hugging and squeezing a bunny was going to come into play with this poor Rabbit knight, lol. But man ,the outcome to how Henry end up at the hands of the citizen is hoo- yeah I feel you, Rabbit knight. This job is ROUGH.
I have to say this comic was really gross but I feel that is exactly what you were aiming for but I actually really enjoyed your writing and character dialog was really great and Im glad that it was a nice relief and adds a lot to the character besides him being a real nasty man eating lad, I am curious if your character would now just be missing his fingers for the rest of his comic run or if they just grow back at an inhuman rate. I liked the ending to this comic even though how visceral you made it good job!
I really like the tone of this character my favorite being the end where Rabbit just walks away from the entire situation that got a good chuckle out of me, but I think a lot of the gnome memes and the loony tunes posting really took me a bit out of the comic not that any of it was bad just a bit of an eye roll from me personally but maybe someone else could find a lot of these references really funny. I like the set up for this comic of the city scape but the line work is a little messy its all pretty good, good work!
There's something discernably classic about this style that I really enjoy, like something you'd see in a 60s pulp publication. A nice balance of humor, brutality, and action throughout, and you've showcased both characters thoroughly. The rabbit's foot at the end is a great touch! Plus a couple cameos for other contestants at the beginning. Great job.
I would've liked to see a bit more back and forth here. You definitely have a lot of panel density per page, but another page or two would've given us even more good stuff. I'm left satisfied, but can't help but feel there's a bit more to explore here!
Gnomed! This is a really close matchup. Tons of style and really dynamic action, and some delightfully visceral brutality. I enjoy how these two characters play off each other, something I think both you and your opponent nailed. There's something poetic about Howitzer eating himself to death!
The inky brushstrokes are an interesting look, but I don't think is serves the story at points. Some solid lines and strong fills will go a long way to improving legibility and creating interesting contrast. Your posing and composition is strong enough that we don't have any trouble following along, but it does end up looking a bit flat.
Good stuff, this was a strong matchup.
Rivana
Brutal and hilarious on both sides! <3
Comment posted: August 13th, 2022 at 5:13 PM
Charlemagne
Both of these are hilarious. What a combination.
Comment posted: August 8th, 2022 at 1:11 AM