I had to leave one page unfinished as a mix of mouse and phone sketches.
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ARTISTCOLORS- These are some think n' chunky inks! I'm kinda into how bold they are and how they fill the panel. Your elements are so zoomed in and close to the viewer it feels like we're standing right in the middle of the action going down. I'd recommend zooming out your 'camera' a bit more to give your scenes just a little bit of breathing room. It'd be rad to see where these characters are, by way of environment.
I feel you though on comics being hard. The yare tough, but we're glad of what you worked hard to share with us here all the same.
JOHANNHAWK- Great font. It's nice and clear, and was a clever idea to have it be white so it stood out against your dark panels. I even commend you on your personal attempts at writing out your own sound effects- it ain't easy! Also its sweet this conflict ended up with Sif finding themselves with a new electric pet. Time to raid a power supply to get this big ol' lug fed!
Sorry to see time got the better of you by way of the deadline ,but on a positive note, it was only one page! You have four other pretty solid pages that relay your story well. Keep up the good work.
Eyesore's got a very interesting design; personally I'd be interested in seeing more of them, both visually and re: getting more backstory from them. Interesting as they are, however, I think the panel compositions here veer toward being a bit too close-up; pulling back the camera, so to speak, will make it easier for the reader to parse the intended action. Beyond that, I think this is a character worth pursuing further, either in further rounds or another match-up, even if it falls outside of an OCT. There's a lot of fun places to take a character that is both inherently powerful and unassuming in demeanor.
There's a lot going on in this one! Like a high-stakes fantasy bar brawl. I like the conceit of the set-up, but it feels a little thin, esp as the action gets tough to follow in the first few pages. I feel it's also a bit unclear what Eyesore's role is in all this - was he there the whole time? was he brought by the cult? The role and arrival of the pieces in play might be worth clarifying. That said, I like the wide perspectives on all the action here, and the clarity it gives the flow. I'm intrigued and excited about seeing this team up going forward, depending on how things shake out~
Sorry to hear you had trouble with this round! I thought the eye slowly opening looked cool. I thought how you cut up the alley scene with panels was an interesting way to frame things. I found it a little hard to tell who was speaking sometimes, especially on page 2. I read the last three word balloons as all being part of the last panel at first? I was a little confused by the ending, I think because you didn't have time to finish it? I thought it was good how Sif had to go off and take a deep breath after the conflict, that felt like a realistic response. I thought the zoom in on the weapon slowly being drawn as Sif talked about just having a chat was good and tense.
You're good at choosing colors that look nice together. You gave Eyesore a lot of really cute expressions! The cultists had a neat design to them. I think the way you use lineless art is cool, but sometimes it felt like your character was hard to see on the darker backgrounds. It would be cool to see you use some shadows or shading to keep things more distinct! The electric necromancer idea is very fun! I like how Eyesore ran around causing chaos, and I thought your ending of "Oh no, I have to make sure this creature doesn't hurt anyone" was good.
Really sorry to hear that this could be your last OCT. But, I am glad you were able to submit something nonetheless! I still hope to see more comics from you one day. OCT is not the only thing you can do in Oculama. You can do many types of comics at your leisure and your own time Anyhow, Eyesore is so adorable I don't want anything bad to happen to him. Due to the unfinished nature of the comic, it was kind of hard to decipher how everything it ended (might just be a 'me' problem though lol). But the pages that were clear to me, I thought you had a good thing going on but hey, take good care of yourself first! Oculama will be here when and hopefully when you're ready to comic again!
Johann - Ah! seems that time got you too. I like what you got going here. The cult story was very interesting and how it ended with Sif putting upon herself to be Eyesore's guardian opens a lot of great story possibilities. I am glad you got to color the last page though as I think that kind of sealed everything together. I am not sure what program you use for your comics or tablet but I think some pen pressure settings would do a lot of help in getting some more fluidity in your line weight and colors. Overall, I hope we get to see a more completed comic from you next time and keep making comics and improving!
It sounds like both of you ran into trouble hitting the deadline. It's nothing to be worried about - life gets in the way, and this is all for fun after all! There's definitely a lot to be learned in seeing how others approach the format under the same restrictions. In case your comics description is not sarcastic, please do not feel discouraged from joining future OCTs!
Moreso than any specific technical or creative advice I could offer, you'll be best served by practicing more and reading more. Get more comfortable with your digital tools, and look at other comics and be mindful of how they are put together.
Cute ending! I think you've done a good job of showcasing our characters, and it's an interesting setup with the cult. I'd love to see a more fleshed out version of this. Nice work overall.
The unfinished page aside, I think you have some strong ideas that you aren't quite visually executing to their fullest. I understand some of this may come down to hardware/software limitations, so as with your opponent I recommend devoting more practice time to getting really comfortable with your tools. It's much easier to nail things like perspective, anatomy, color, etc. when you have full command of your arsenal!
I like the ambition of your early panel work, but there are a few pointers I would like to give. When you plan out pages, thick gutters tend to only work horizontally, when the vertical gutters are almost as thick as one of your panel, you are not using the page to its fullest and your art ends up feeling cramped. I would also invest in some smaller tipped art supplies, as working everything with one width means everything bleeds together and makes the already cramped panel even more cramped. Writing wise, I would suggest making smaller text and bubbles, but the story was fun enough and I hope you make many more comics here for me to read!
I like the story your telling, and while it is hard to tell what is going, I think you have the right idea for angles and how you set up the scenes. The pacing is pretty solid troughout. I would try to rely less on giant panels of only text however as it does not untilize the strength of the medium. If you have lots of text, such as in this, you can get away with a slightly smaller font. You can also partion it across a larger panel with artwork to inform the text better. I would suggest looking into 80's comics who did this a lot to great effect.
I enjoyed this comic's use of large unconventional panels. It was a slight bit hard to follow at some points unfortunately but I believe it was due to a lack of time to finish. And I must say, with a lack of time, this is a really great comic and I truly hope to see more from artistcolors. The line work has a certain bounce to it that really lets the eye gloop over it. The spacing and size of the dialogue could use a little bit of work to help it read better though. The designs and stylizations of both characters were very cool to see.
This comic definitely goes for the action and cute combo which is one I don't see very often and I can appreciate that. It fills a feel good niche by the end of the day. The art of this comic is an improvement from previous comics and the effort can really be felt. Even though time seems to have run out by the 4th panel, what is shown is a good and simple to follow story that just lets the mind take in the flow between panels. The panels themselves have that good wubbybubble energy too if you get what I mean. They have good like wooshing noise to them if that makes sense in a completely serious way. It feels very well planned out.