Oculama

IT'S ABOUT DRIVE IT'S ABOUT POWER WE STAY HUNGRY WE DEVOUR

In all seriousness the idea of someone trying to swole-out a robot is hilarious. I was half-expecting the final panel of Delta-V to be a giant hulk robot, her still being exactly identical was pleasant-chuckle worthy. For Page 4, I simultaneously felt that the paneling was creative, but that it could also have been taken better advantage of if there was an image or mega-panel that all the smaller panels were super-imposed over, or at least more panels, since the page feels a little bit empty otherwise. Even still, this was a really neat, short comic.

First off, I remember reading that your tablet broke halfway through the comic, and I really have to express my condolensces. That being said, I think given the circumstances, you did absolutely phenomenal, being able to use simple, crude linework that did a fantastic job of implying the basic action. I immediately recognized the "Armstrong Punching" meme, so you definitely have strength when it comes to linework. The fight itself was also hilarious, never knew how much I needed a giant robot and a lady beating each other to a pulp. Only real advice I could give is that on Page 5 the rough sketch is still visible underneath the black lineart, although if that was a design choice, I think it still does a great job of creating a sense of impact/disorientation.

UMBRAL-
I know you had difficulties behind the scenes, so kudos for getting what you could up for us to enjoy! I think the inked pages you showcased were really solid. It's clear you had fun with Merle's design and Delta's attacks were freakin wild.

Great choice of font too. The round and bubbly style I works well for your art style. Even in the sketch/thumb process, you can see that your style is pretty charming and toony. And the digital robo-font style for Delta I think works without being too stand out. Also those last two panels have to be my fav with how sharp they are- is our lil bud gonna be ok?? lol

WHOLESOMEFUN-
As a native Californian, you had me at the Venice Beach inspired Gymini meet n greet XD Nice establishing shot to get us into this comic. Delta-V as a rabid fanboy (fanbot?) is a super cute and unexpected angle! I especially dug the 'Rocky workout montage. down to the booty injection of steroids, haha! The gag that all that work amounted to nothing in the end has gotta be my favorite thing. Nice deflation of the audiences expectations.

I really didn't know what to expect from Merle, but they are quickly becoming a fav. Really, just a solid comic.

Incomplete or not, this is FUNNY. Jumping right into the fight feels so organic for these two characters and absolutely works w/o much buildup. The fight itself has a great screaming and punching energy (I REALLY like Merle's face at the top of page 3), and the ending is amusing all while adding to perceived prowess of each fighter. The polished parts here look good enough that I'm almost at a loss to give any criticism not covered by "I'm really sorry about your tablet." You can consider me an enthusiastic fan of your style and someone on pins and needles to see what you do next.

There's so many little funny moments and gags fit in here; it's like Christmas for comic humor (I esp. like the pun at the start and Delta's little nonplussed "wow"). I like your art style quite a bit, and it feels fitting to the sort of story you've written here. One *minor* note would be that, on the first page, maybe use a bit more of the atmospheric occlusion to set the beach scene as separate from the part of the building that peeks into the above panel; it's a real nitpick, but it could help with the visual parsing of the comic a bit. I think this is otherwise a pretty solid, well-thought out comic with a master's hand at humor throughout.

will skip past the obvious "shoulda finished it," and straight to what I can tell. for a little no-context-necessary fight scene, this is pretty alright; everything reads easy even in a basic sketch, and what you tease in lined panels, like pg3pn4, is very promising! however—and take this with a grain of salt, because 1-v-1 contextless battles are something i know in general appeals to me less than a lot of others—there's no real flow to the battle. i mean, i guess that's obvious, because merle is taking a purely defensive posture, not attacking at all, but that doesn't make for the most interesting of fights, when delta v's just pummeling a brick wall. it might be better not framed as a fight at all, just as some "hey, punch me, i won't even feel it" bravado. it's got a fun, creative ending though!

this is a very fun little episode! you see the punchline coming a mile away but it's still pulled off really well on the way. i really like how clean and readable your style is, but say, when it comes to the montage page, possibly for that reason it feels a little austere, with a lot of uninspiring empty space between the panels, emphasized by the contrast of the battling ropes encroaching on the "montage" text. pushing things together or adding some more visual fluff with lines and stuff might solve that. steroid gag's good though. i might say pg2pn1 could use some more elaboration so we know what this gym actually *looks* like. but despite that, i very much enjoyed this!

There is something to be said about setting up a clear punchline, and still make it stick. Which is very much what I felt was the case here. Robots can't have muscles, but the crisp and clear commitment to the bit with the montage and how adorable you made Delta act made the punchline land. Especially as its obvious or dear, swole friend had entirely forgot what we, the readers knew all along. It was a very funny comic, I enjoyed it a lot.

Artwise I would have liked to see more work on backgrounds and a little more in the way of perspective. Your sense of movement and posture is great, your charachters are distinct and articulate.

It sucks that so much stuff happened as to keep you from finishing, but what glimpses we got looks good! Your writing is pretty straight forward for this, a lil battle, with a pretty funny conclusion in the last panels. I really liked how both characters came across. What art was more finsihed has a nice sense of scale and volume to it and I think you have a strong grasp of action. And I hope to see more from you, should health and other things allow it ofc!

I hope the new tablet works great and that things look up for you soon!

Really unfortunate that you had compounding issues around completing the comic this time, would loved to have seen the comic fully realized. That being said, even with what you've presented this is a very compact and effective story. Starting in medias res is always a favorite of mine and quickly getting to the conflict even more so. It's a simple "test of strength" but I think your dialog really effectively characterizes both characters, Delta as the eager one trying to prove themselves and Merle as this Herculean figure that needs to be overcome. Love Delta and I hope to see more of them!

I have to really appreciate a comic that leads into a great central joke like this! It's always great to see a comic that can setup, build and payoff effectively while feeling complete, especially within the page limitations. Merle is also a great character who immediately establishes herself and her attitude, I can see a lot of potential really funny and cool scenarios for Merle going forward. Despite the occasional pretty bare background (which I totally get with the amount of time we have to make these) I really enjoyed your paneling across the pages. The page 4 montage especially looks great and guides the eye well. The jump rope panel has excellent motion! Really looking forward to your next comic!

Artwork - Sorry about the tabbie. It's always a bummer when that happens -_-. I am glad you managed to do some pages that were finished. The last three panels on page three looked pretty cool as well as the ending when Delta-V was in space.

Writing and Entertainment - I thought the story is pretty good. Can't go wrong with a chance encounter that ended in a friendly duel. Merle is such a good sport! My favorite has got to be the "Ow" in the last panel. I know Delta-V is a robot but ..I like that that she felt the 'pain' long after the fact. It's like when we work really hard at the gym and we often feel the soreness during the next day XD

Artwork - Even though you have a cartoon-y style, your great knowledge in anatomy is very apparent. I guess that comes with the territory of being able to create a hyper muscular character and pull it off with ease. That montage page was my favorite!

Writing and Entertainment - LOL! You fooled me..in a good way! As I read the comic and Delta goes through the training, etc, I was thinking to myself. How... how would Delta-V look at the end. Robots can't gain muscles. The ending had me laughing and thinking , 'I knew it!'. Very fun comic! I enjoyed it a lot.

The art that's finished looks really nice! You have a lot of good action going on, and really charming expressions I really liked Merle's knocked flat post at the end. The jet effect looked cool, and I liked the zoomy punch.
I was kind of confused about why Delta-V was in space at the end? Also while the fight itself was fun, the setup for the fight felt a bit arbitrary.
I think you have a good balance of cool moments for both characters, especially with the reveal that Merle managed to mess up Delta pretty bad. The different Delta-V upgrades were neat.

I really like your art, it's fun and bouncy! The opening shot was really cool and I especially liked the training montage. I also liked how emotive you made Delta-V with just her face screen and body language. Your sound effects are really cute as well.
Merle's hair being the only textured thing makes it stand out a lot, but that kind of works with her godliness?
The failed steroid injection was a great joke. Really funny surprise ending! I think having Merle train Delta-V is a fun setup for the comic. The tiny "wow" on page 3 was really funny too.

Damn shame about the tablet! This is such a cool little fight, with tons of little touches in dialog to characterize our combatants. Merle is boisterous in a way that seems to perfectly fit her. Delta-V launching themselves out of the fight unintentionally is a funny punchline.

I'm unfortunately obligated to knock you a few points in the artwork category for the unfinished pages, but you are able to clearly communicate the story through the sketches. I've certainly seen what you are capable of with working hardware, so I won't hone in on anything particular here.

I imagine said tablet issues might've affected the rest of the comic creation process as well - I do feel another page of action would help with the pacing of Delta-V going through their power-ups. Or perhaps spend some time showing why our two characters are crossing paths at this moment!

Hope to see you back in action at full capacity soon!

This comic got a genuine laugh out of me! Trying to roid up a robot is such an inane idea that works perfectly for the characters involved. Delta-V comes as perfectly earnest, and Merle's enthusiasm does a great job of driving this little story. One of my favorites of the round.

Your style is strong throughout, although I do feel the set dressing is a bit sparse. The cover sets up that we're at Muscle Beach (or an equivalent thereof) but nothing in the comic following reinforces that. Feels like a missed opportunity for some contextual comedy - Merle as the biggest body among big bodies, or Delta-V in a place you wouldn't expect them to belong. This is fairly minor, but with some of your backgrounds feeling a bit sparse this may be a missed opportunity!