Oculama

This is a very intriguing introduction! The hints at a world gone wrong...the pleading/after the end vibes of the message...I'm left very curious and wanting to know more about this character and the world you've planned around them!

I do feel the comic may lean too far into opaque, as far as conveying a setting/introducing the character/ showing a clean flow of action. After about four read-throughs I'm still not confidently able to hazard a guess as to what is happening from about halfway through the second page onward, and I can only make a rough guess at the elapsed time this is meant to convey.

The mood of the comic remains pretty striking, however; you've gotten across a sense of something lost while retaining an eye to the future in-universe that, as mentioned above, makes this a good hook for any future adventures.

First of all- grats on a fully colored well rendered comic. Its clear you have a very rich set of lore and background you're itching to tell, though I will admit doing so in three pages is a tall order. That's not to say this introduction is bad. Someone from the past awakening in a dystopian ruin left with little more than a cryptic message. I think its a great start, but I think in your excitement to tell it, you've tried to include a good deal of elements that simply need more time and page count to explain.

This felt like more of an introduction to this mysterious flowery stranger than our train conductor. We know their desires, regrets and connection to Comet Dash. But I feel by the last page I don't know Dash any better than I did from page 1.

Still, based off what was shown off, you're not wanting for ideas. I certainly hope to see more beefy story line comics come up.

I noticed a definite improvement in your art. This comic is much more polished than your previous ones so well done on that. I think some of those panels with Comet could've benefitted from a more zoomed-out/establishing shot of what the inside of the train looked like just to get a sense of Comet's full situation and predicament. I do wish we got more context on what really happened though I can understand this is more of a teaser of the things to come. I am intrigued about the events that led to this post-apocalyptic world that we now find Comet in and what will come next.

Mal this is a definite step up from your previous comic! First of all you have find your own authentic artwork. The environment in the panels and the characters are depicted much more clearly now. Also props for being able to set up a scene with only 3 pages long. That is also a step up from your previous work regarding your character intro comics. As for criticism, i suggest that you're expand where you wanna take comet on his next adventures. Add some spice of entertainement, and hook him on some higher stakes. Like expand the "Mx. Dale" mystery plotline, how did he find cross, or going to the Junction. Comet still coming on a long way & it's all up to you! Also good luck fighting Labu next hehehe.