Oculama

I think your art looks good and cohesive and I like your colours, but I think your backgrounds feel incomplete.
Your writing is very good, and I love that neither of the characters begin the story in Junction, but rather that they arrive there through Senki's magic. It is a very entertaining battle, and I wanted to know what would happen next. The length of the comic is against you for this, but I think it would have been nice to see higher stakes or more 'development' in either of the characters during the comic.
In my eyes, this comic wins the match.

I liked your art a lot. I think you can benefit from utilising simple tones or varying line weights to help separate your characters from the background better. Also: be wary of tangent lines.
Your writing isn't brilliant, in my eyes, and your conflict felt very simple and had a 'cookie-cutter' OCT comic format: characters meet each other and battle for no apparent (or very minor) reason. For what the comic is, I think the low stakes work in your favour, but I think you could have worked harder to make the story feel more cohesive, and given the characters a more satisfying conclusion.

You do the whole cartoon-sh-galaxy-fantasy style SO well that your comics are really coming to define the junction, the surrounding multiverse, and how I envision it at large in a big way.

So let's start with that art, and to be honest, I have very few critiques. there's places where I feel the action conveyed relies a bit too much on the dialogue to sell what is not-quite-crystal-clear action (Saal's dodge roll, for example), but this is ultimately very small potatoes when you tell a story that almost doesn't need dialogue at all in places (Though it is nice to have, more on that below). The spell-casting and laser-blasts are all very good, and the sci-fi western setting that transitions into a sort of cosmic spacegate ending are all visual delights that make this a worthy read. This is a bit more understated than other visual strengths here, but your work with the characters' facial expressions walks that very precarious line between comedic and serious contexts beautifully.

I'm CONSTANTLY guilty of this myself, but your text could also benefit from an additional pass for formatting and grammar, if your timeline allows. There's numerous (albeit minor) stuff like text alignment within the bubbles, punctuation mis-placement, and spelling/grammar issues that can be minor but persistent distractions to the interesting story that you've woven for us. (As an example, the panel where Saal says "Mind magic scrub" at first read-through made it seem like she was using mind-scrubbing magic, whereas I'm *guessing* the intent was for her to be saying "Mind-magic, scrub," therefore calling Senki names.

The flow of the story here is otherwise really fun. The classic bounty-hire setup, the slapstick chase through a tourist-trap (a bit of a side-note here, but you are absolutely NAILING the little quips and funny one-liners from the supporting cast all throughout that sequence), and the big reveal of what Saal has been working up to. It's sort fo made clear to us before we get to the very end that she's trying to make her way to junction, but you keep all the moving pieces that Saal is using to get their very engaging (the tentacles and crystal seeds were really cool inclusions). Plus that final splash scene with Senki and Saal hurtling through junction! ICONIC. A shot absolutely worthy of this grand shared universe that's coming together.

O love this comic for a lot of reasons - you've got a lot going on, both visually and in the flow of the story, but you're storytelling is incredibly crisp, with some stellar artwork to match. All the little visual treats throughout - the flowers, Saal's little sparkle-familiars, add a lot of great flavor here and brought a smile to my face ;)

I had a lot of thoughts about your linework as I read through this comic. You do some incredibly subtly work getting across Senki's mood with slight variations on the dashes that make up their eyes, and you have a strong sense for how much detail a scene needs to communicate the setting and the key objects the reader needs to focus in one. One area where the lines could use a bit of work is maybe a closer examination of the weights you use - the difference between far background and near foreground (Senki and their ship against the cityscape, for example, or Saal set against the rain, sometimes detracts from the focus your economy of detail accomplishes.

Story-wise, I see a similar mix of strengths and areas for improvement. You've wielded each party's fairly straightforward motivations convincingly. That Saal takes such immediate measures to hex someone she's just met but who's acting intimidating feels...maybe not justified, but certainly in-character for someone you've written as changing the weather just to water her flowers. And the quick forgiveness also fits that same temperamental personality. I'm on the fence with how consistent it feels with past Saal comics, but I suppose to be fair, this *is* the same character who dipped just as her friends were about to fight an evil Christmas moose monster.

On the flip side, the overall narrative told by this story, where Senki feels like the hapless victim of a wizard's whims (which is definitely not a weakness in of itself) does feel like it could use a bit more focus. I feel like I don't get a good sense of who Senki is, and I don't really get much of a takeaway from the story other than these two might meet up again in the future. And again, that's not a bad thing unto itself, but a story that's just one character getting batted around by the other needs to deliver a bit more...interest elsewhere, shall we say? To really be standout.

I think this review is starting to sound a bit negative, so I want to pull back and re-emphasize that I think this is a really nice piece of work. Your Pikley-esque art style is REALLY well suited to comic storytelling, and you've done a lot of fun things visually with the magical and sci-fi aspects of the characters here. You have a cleanness of drawing and storytelling that really shows the effort you've put in, and I think it's a comic you can be really proud of!!!

As always, I really enjoy your comics. You have a great sense of humor, and I think you do a good job of capturing the essence of your opponents characters. I really liked your paneling this comic, I think it flowed pretty well and I think this is some of your best color work. The palette looked really good all through out the comic.

It did take me a flip back and re-read to fully get the story and what exactly Saal was trying to accomplish with the stolen seed juice and I think it's a jump to the astral plane where all the universes kind of intersect? Junction is not so much a city here but a world between the universes? I think my biggest feedback is a little bit more clarity for what is exactly happening, but it is still making me want to know more! I crave more Saal lore!

I really liked this comic overall and I had a lot of fun reading it and I really hope you push and experiment more like you did here, Saal is perfect for it and I Think you got some really neat concepts to explore. More Saal comics pls.

I was just absolutely charmed by this comic. What an adorable gag and the way you write Saal is so fun! Your figures are really nice and the backgrounds looked very good. You're story pacing was very nice too, nothing felt rushed or squished in and your panels flowed very nicely.

The only things that come to mind for me is I think either some line width variation would be beneficial, ( ie. objects closer to the viewer having thicker lines to add depth) or adding in some spot blacks. A few times your figures and your backgrounds kind of blurred into each other a little bit and it takes a moment to figure out what is going on (i.e. panel 2 page 3. I didn't realize Saal was in that shot first read through, which I think adding Black to the roof top for example would help make the other elements/figures stand out a bit more)

Overall I think this was a really solid comic, It was simple and sweet and I really liked it. I look forward to more from you dude!

hey, this was a super fun comic! i love the extended chase sequence here; it's got a lot of nice and well portrayed beats to it. the implication that saal just stole their name from some apocryphal tourist attraction this whole time is absolutely devastating. i do wish there were some more fleshed out backgrounds in this - the simplicity of the desert obviously is kind of essential to its character, but that gift shop really oughta feel a bit more cluttered, y'know? i liked a lot of the individual scenes of the energy overflow saal was experiencing, but you tried to stuff page 15 with just too much imagery; the beams feel like they're coming from four different directions, and it's unclear where "panels" begin and end, so it just seems like it's pinballing back and forth. i think one or two full-page shots would've done better here. but i like the explanation of how both saal and senki could've gotten to junction! really loved what you did here!

gregly, gregly! this is a good comic, but i gotta say as a fervent fan of yours, it's not the strongest showing you've had writing-wise. i think the main thing that sticks out to me is that all the magic saal does here is very simple, very easy to describe. what really makes saal imho is their low-concept wibbly-wobbly stuff, and what's here doesn't really utilize them all that well. i think also it feels like it could've been tightened up a little in terms of panel count and not lose much? that said, it's still a fun interaction! i appreciate how forgiving they are, and the plant "gift" is cute and funny! and i salute all that detail in lining the plants; they do feel dense.

I have never seen a Saal comic where he was put into such a heel position before, but I like it! Starting with a fantasy Introduction. but soon turned into a chase shootout like a western showdown.

However, I can see some displaced texts on the speech bubbles and the signs. Also, the pace when Saal is shopping at the store feels a bit rushed. But despite all of that you're still drawing the scene with the right mood and tone. But knowing Footini, it won't be enough without its whimsical humor scenes and it hits as usual.

Overall it's a short and entertaining introduction of how Senki could get into the Junction and a lore exposition for both characters in Oculama.

Gregly, I think it's a good silly comic for you to start in Oculama. I believe it is an excellent choice to use a linear comic as a means of communication between both Saal and Senki in a much cartoony manner.

As for the point of Improvements, I suggest to spice-up the stakes for Senki to make the Interactions have more consequences and process where it might go. Also, I suggest trying to play with more colors In-spite of having a monochrome style and having more unique panelings and lines to emphasize more emotion to your comic style.

Overall I think it's an okay comic with a lot of potential for you to explore in Oculama forward!

I am loving what you're doing with the lore you're concocting for this universe and that of your characters. If there was anyone who'd face an impossibility by getting to the bottom of it, it would be Saal. I especially dug all the little 'you gotta be in the know to know' cameos by the by ;)
Your humor is on point and as ever is definitely a strong suit, but I will say your backgrounds and environments would've benefitted from an extra punch. The Wizardruins (wizardriuns??) emporium felt so sparse and bare for such a fantastical place that Senki's attacks didn't s much as disturb a figurine. You did however go all out once we got into the more expressionism background of the cosmos and junction which I think was this comics strength. Saal and surrealism just seem to go hand in hand- seeing you push the parameters of what a comic page should look like definitely does Saal's narrative alotta favors. You did, however show your opponent alotta love and consideration over what and who he is. Like the multi-sight sniper gun to compensate for Seki's many eyes was inspired..
It's been lovely to see Saal as an Oculama mainstay. Keep those comics coming

Great to see Senki in action! I can't get over how simple but effective this characters design is. While there isn't anything particularly wrong with your story, I will say I found myself admittedly bored, which is a feat considering some of the fun set ups you had going that were never capitalized on. Senki shrinking would've made for some fun ant man shenanigans, but it was only spent arguing. And Saals magical mastery of their flora left me expecting a poison ivy-esque attack or action, but simply ended up being used as a parting gift.
I'll be the first to say a vs comic definitely doesnt need to come to blows to be entertaining- especially if a more slice or life or dialogue driven comic is your aim, but this seemed like you were gearing up for a fun conflict that never came to its climax.

Footini - This comic looks really good! IDK if this is a new thing you're trying right now but the shading and the gradients really added a whole new dimension to your art. I do wonder how your work would look with screen tones (not necessarily a critique, more of a curiosity). I also appreciate how even your NPCs have their own personalities and not just cardboard cutouts of the tasks/roles they were set to do. And is that the enigmatic purple vial finally making its Oculama debut? =O

I gotta say, this is a great intro to a new possible chapter! I sure can't wait to see Senki and Saal's Junctionventures!

Gregly - I sure am one of the many people thrilled to see you make your Oculama debut and it does not disappoint. I am sitting here still feeling mighty impressed by how clean your lineart is. I could say that I'd like to see some more shading or tones in it or even color but, I actually like it the way it is. It makes me think of printed comics folded in half and stapled in the middle that I could hold in my hand and read on a nice summer day as a kid. Then I'd be off to grab my crayons to color it.

I love the variety of expressions you gave Saal and the Parrys. Poor Senki just having to deal with the craziness lol. The ending really made me laugh. I absolutely loved it!