NINJA - Absolutely KILLING it on the storytelling this round. It's a classic style of tale, the small helping the large, but you put so many great shifts and twists on it to make it your own beast.
First off, love the subtle misdirect up front of exactly who the narrator is. Even on a second and third read the deception is unimpeachable, and it feels delightful to learn that Licker is the one we've been listening to up to that point.
Then the twist of Licker (unintentionally, though part of me did wonder if Licker was going to eat Sandmouse once free - couldn't tell you why ;) ) burying Sandmouse and not even realizing it was brilliant in my view for two reasons - one the reversal of situations, which would have been cool enough on its own, but two, showing how, despite being very capable of reflection, Licker also has a lack of awareness that would lead to the assumption that Sandmouse simply left, rather than being buried alive.
Your lighting hits all the marks it needs to in this first round. The chasm is a dark place, and potentially hostile because of that darkness, which comes across clearly, and makes the light sources, beautifully rendered, feel like points of comfort not just for Sandmouse and Licker, but for the readers as well. You cultivate one of the best-defines chasm spaces as well simply by your hard work on the backgrounds and framing chasm walls, which I absolutely don't want to overlook, but the lighting is so good it deserves especial mention.
BLUEGILL - I love the combination of simple detailing and faded colors throughout this comic. Those elements, along with the 8-bit level of granularity, give just enough to make the comic feel like it slots into a bigger world while leaving enough of that world unknown to the reader to keep your story tense and intriguing.
Sandmouse's narration, similarly, gives the reader just enough to follow while leaving the right amount (imho) of world detail up to the reader's imagination that the mouse's wanderings are themselves tense, and that the background reveal of the Licker builds on that tension before breaking into the final chase and triggering.
That final full-page panel is a strong ending to the comic - there's something to the composition that is downright baroque in its layout, even for it's simplicity of detail. Between your composition and the starkness of detail, you may the arrow hit feel extremely consequential, and much more than the sum of the narrative and events that lead up to it.
One last note on your layout - a lot of folks have done it in this first round, but very good use of the chasm walls to both create a sense of encasement and to define the space where useful, and leave the space up to the reader's imagination where the shape of the setting is less critical.
Wolkemesser
NINJA - Absolutely KILLING it on the storytelling this round. It's a classic style of tale, the small helping the large, but you put so many great shifts and twists on it to make it your own beast.
First off, love the subtle misdirect up front of exactly who the narrator is. Even on a second and third read the deception is unimpeachable, and it feels delightful to learn that Licker is the one we've been listening to up to that point.
Then the twist of Licker (unintentionally, though part of me did wonder if Licker was going to eat Sandmouse once free - couldn't tell you why ;) ) burying Sandmouse and not even realizing it was brilliant in my view for two reasons - one the reversal of situations, which would have been cool enough on its own, but two, showing how, despite being very capable of reflection, Licker also has a lack of awareness that would lead to the assumption that Sandmouse simply left, rather than being buried alive.
Your lighting hits all the marks it needs to in this first round. The chasm is a dark place, and potentially hostile because of that darkness, which comes across clearly, and makes the light sources, beautifully rendered, feel like points of comfort not just for Sandmouse and Licker, but for the readers as well. You cultivate one of the best-defines chasm spaces as well simply by your hard work on the backgrounds and framing chasm walls, which I absolutely don't want to overlook, but the lighting is so good it deserves especial mention.
Comment posted: February 8th, 2025 at 8:57 AM
Wolkemesser
BLUEGILL - I love the combination of simple detailing and faded colors throughout this comic. Those elements, along with the 8-bit level of granularity, give just enough to make the comic feel like it slots into a bigger world while leaving enough of that world unknown to the reader to keep your story tense and intriguing.
Sandmouse's narration, similarly, gives the reader just enough to follow while leaving the right amount (imho) of world detail up to the reader's imagination that the mouse's wanderings are themselves tense, and that the background reveal of the Licker builds on that tension before breaking into the final chase and triggering.
That final full-page panel is a strong ending to the comic - there's something to the composition that is downright baroque in its layout, even for it's simplicity of detail. Between your composition and the starkness of detail, you may the arrow hit feel extremely consequential, and much more than the sum of the narrative and events that lead up to it.
One last note on your layout - a lot of folks have done it in this first round, but very good use of the chasm walls to both create a sense of encasement and to define the space where useful, and leave the space up to the reader's imagination where the shape of the setting is less critical.
Comment posted: February 8th, 2025 at 8:49 AM
MarcheTowersArt
I love this odd pair and the two interpretations of their comics are so exciting to see the differences between them
Comment posted: February 7th, 2025 at 9:17 AM
Piñata
A battle between David and a cryptid Goliath. Lets go!
Comment posted: February 6th, 2025 at 10:02 AM