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Artwork - Nice crisp and sharp inks that could cut through anything like a hot knife through butter. Love that confidence and it really shows a lot of skill. The colors are just as vibrant. You're also very good at framing panels with interesting angles. It's almost as if I am watching a moving picture. I am seriously impressed.
Writing and Entertainment - Who knew that a tax collector could make for such interesting opportunities to explore characters and stories! Jamison's encounters with these multiversal personalities/superstars are such a treat to watch. I love that you added another character into the mix to further possible future stories between Driftwood and Jamison. I can't help but be curious about what's going to happen after this comic. Again, I am super invested in these characters!
You just keep getting better and better. Kudos for going above and beyond and coloring your comic this round (not that your first round wasn't as impressive as it is)!
Artwork - Most people skimp on backgrounds (myself included) but you do the opposite hah. I still find this style of paper cutout characters very cute though! But would be cool to see them all in color one day if the time allows it. Overall, very nice to look at esp in the backgrounds. Just gotta polish up the figures next time! You did great!
Writing and Entertainment - Driftwood is so lovable and Jamison is also quite charming. I think you wrote both characters really well and gave them equal opportunity to shine in their own way. I also like that you went a different route of Driftwood of actually receptive to paying the taxes, I kind of expected most characters to be averse to that lol
Another solid round from you! Well done and keep up the good work!
I liked the backgrounds in your comic a lot! Looks like a 3D model for the ship? I think you've also added some nice texture affects that give it a strong sense of style. That said, it seems like the characters themselves aren't really finished. I think coloring them as well would have really helped solidify the whole sort of picturebook aesthetic you've got going with the backgrounds. It kind of makes the whole comic feel unfinished. I liked the interactions with the characters, though. Having two characters from completely different worlds interacting has a lot of potential for interesting interactions. Keep it up!
Great color work in this comic! Always impressive when someone's able to get a fully colored comic in such a short time frame. Especially like the seawater effect, good blend of colors there. If there's a criticism I'd have it's that it's bit lacking in excitement story-wise. It kind of felt like the opening to a much longer comic rather than a complete story on it's own, if that makes any sense? That said, your character designs are pretty strong and I think that you've got an interesting idea that could make for some neat stories going forward. Keep it up!
The storybook style of illustration here is great both for showing off your backgrounds, and because it lends the comic the air of a little cautionary tale, which feels appropriate given the subject matter (even though drifty dips out w/ no consequences this time). It looks like things got a little sketchy towards the end with the character models, but I actually sort of like how streamlined the figures get as a result. I would just watch out for consistency of depiction and making sure the character models are unique enough from each other. good stuff overall, and a nice back and forth on the nature of taxes. Tax evasion has never been so cute!
Wonderfully vibrant scenery here; I could stare at that first and last page for hours. Same for your boat designs; I love how many angles you show us throughout the comic - it's a great exploration of the space! Text-wise I think there's fat that can be trimmed; I get bogged down in some of the more inane bits of dialogue. Try adding in another round of proofing and really give the chop to anything your comic can do without. Good stuff overall; I like Jamison's unsettling sort of serenity with all the other characters so far; really nails that tax collector gothic ;)
The stormy sea of your comic is really beautiful and unique, and I love how the color of the ship changed as well to match it. I only deduct a star from artwork because of the unfinished character colors. The Spongebob title card gag was funny, but I still wish we got to see at least a little montage of that adventure happening. There's actually a lot of really great moments in here - especially on page one with Jamison's reaction to Driftwood not knowing about taxes. Panelling isn't as unique and experimental as your last comic but that's okay. This formal style works better for the story. Overall really great job!
The bright blue sky, the shimmering sea, the worn materials of the boats... you've done an excellent job on the artwork here. My only gripe might be that a calm sea isn't as creative or difficult to do as Vitic's stormy waves. I love the story behind the meeting of characters in this comic. The quick flashback to Driftwood meeting Satunh, who had earlier been shown in Jamison's mind as dangerous and scary, where he was instead some smiling stranger amicably sharing some cooked fish, was intriguing. If this wins I wonder where that plotline will take you. Excellent work on your comic!
Very nice comic! I really enjoy your cut-out, almost collage style and the inclusion of the 3-d art is executed seamlessly to great effect! The paneling and layout was good but I felt their could have been some more variety in angles that featured the characters a tad more. I also do wish we could have seen some of that implied-action, even just a little, before cutting away to the 'spongebob' time-card (which is very good tho), but I fully know time restrictions may have been a factor. I found the writing to be nice and succinct but that didnt mean you sacrificed humour, and I enjoyed the cute and unexpected dynamic between these two characters! Well done!
Wow, wonderful execution! Your art is so crisp and your colouring and backgrounds really pop and look fantastic! I also very much enjoyed the paneling, especially on page 5. In terms of writing I did feel like the plot was a tad slow and exposition-y, and might have needed either some more active/dynamic emotions or developments, or some less wordy dialogue exchanges to get across the encounter. Both characters definitely felt distinct though, and the world building is very intriguing! All in all I really love to feast my eyes on your visual work, and I cant wait to see how Jamison develops in the future!
The 3D elements in the comic are quite nicely rendered, just enough polygons, the palette is muted but pleasantly so. However considering how static the character art is, it raises questions of whether this background style is worth the effort if the two elements do not blend together. One thing that could be done instantly to give the characters depth in these 3D environments is to give them shadow that cast onto the 3d objects, in this comic they have no shadows and so it feels like the characters are hovering over the background plane rather than existing within them.
Gorgeous color and rendering here, you've been able to add colors to this comic after a grayscale comic and yet it doesn't feel like you've had to sacrifice anything. Everything is clean , readable, and vibrant. Writing rise, not much is going on here, the conflict is resolved in one panel. Because this Satuhn character is presumably not going to be in the next Jamison comic, the fact that he is the focal point of this comic makes it hard to care about them. I think re-explaining Jamison's metaphysical tax ability kneecaps your ability to write a compelling short form story, in the future you should just start playing with that premise and expand on it.
Your artwork is really gorgeous. You obviously put a ton of effort into this comic and it's very polished and looks great! Really good work switching up camera angles and picking interesting ways to show off the action. Beautiful colors! I'm bad at talking about visual stuff so just, yeah it's really good!
One thing about your style here is it feels a little bit like you're doing a homage to KSBD? And I feel like that's a little bit distracting. There's a few places where you spend a lot of panels on one action, like the boat hooking to the other boat, or Jamison leaving, and it makes the pacing feel very slow? Like the more panels something takes, the longer that action "feels", if that makes sense.
Storywise I would like to see more stakes and conflict between the two characters? There's like a brief flash of a fight, but it's defused really quickly. This feels kind of like a setup for a conflict with Satuhn? Your dialogue is really naturalistic, which can be good for setting a certain kind of mood, but spending a lot of time on small talk is another thing that can make a comic feel slow. The panel where Jamison describes Satuhn in front of a picture of Satuhn also feels a bit redundant? The scenes of Satuhn and Driftwood together were cute, and I think having an antagonist could be an interesting hook for later rounds. I like Jamison's personality of being kind of a weirdo who doesn't care about anything but the job, that's very fun!
I think the way you mix 3d and 2d art is very cool, but when the 2d art is uncolored it ends up looking kind of unfinished. If you're going for kind of a storybook approach it might be cool to lean into that and exaggerate the flatness of your characters, Paper Mario style? Either way I think it might look more cohesive overall if you either colored your 2d art, or set the 3d art to greyscale. Story-wise, you've cut the potentially most interesting part of your comic to just a flash forward! When you've got limited pages to work with, it helps to cut to the interesting bits as quickly as possible. I would have liked to see you start at the underwater adventure, with a quick mention that this is payment for back taxes, and then just do the fun adventure stuff. I know 3d comics can be time consuming though so it might be hard to do an underwater adventure in a week with 3d backgrounds. You should also be careful about the flow of your word bubbles from top to bottom. On the first page, you've got a word balloon tucked in the bottom left corner that's easy to miss. I really like your dialogue and the interplay between the two characters here! Each character feels like they've got an unique voice and you've got a good dynamic going on here. The story over all feels complete and you've got an ending that ties it up nicely.
This was a nice little package. Using a mixed media approach with a 3d boat and ocean is a clever time-saving strategy, though I think it would have looked better with some slightly more refined art for the characters - the simple grey colouring gives the comic a kind of 'WIP storyboard' feel, especially on page 3 where the details drop even more dramatically.
Story-wise, there wasn't a lot happening here. The dialogue is characterful and charming, but a loose explanation of taxes is such a dry topic that those positive traits aren't really allowed to shine much. Having a fairly uneventful start and end of a story, with the exciting action-packed middle deliberately left on the cutting room floor can be an effective joke, but in this case it just reminds me of what these 3 pages COULD have contained.
To start things off I'm wowed by the level of polish you've managed to get into these pages. Full colour and shading is no small feat! The K6BD inspired visuals are laid on thick here. Maybe even too thick as you've now made it extremely hard not to draw comparisons. A unique style for the sake of a unique style isn't really recommended, but it might be worth branching out into some different fonts or brushes or general design of props and outfits if this is the path you want to go down.
I found the dialogue in this comic quite clunky and unconvincing. Chiefly, the idea that Jameson, who is on a manhunt, is quite bad at actually getting information out of Driftwood. In fact Driftwood is actually the one directing most of the conversation via questions! It's small things, but having Driftwood push Jameson to provide a description of the character that Jameson otherwise wouldn't have given is odd. How would Jameson expect to get ANY clues if Driftwood wasn't so interested in what he had to say? I'll also note that the very nice looking panel showing off Saturn is BUTCHERED by having Jameson also verbally describe the character. Like, I get that Driftwood can't see the character, but this comic isn't for them, it's for us, and such a needless double up of visuals and text is very distracting!
Introducing a major NPC into an OCT storyline is risky work that doesn't always pay off (take it from me...) and with such short comics, the risk is magnified. 'Knowing Saturn' becomes Driftwood's overriding character trait in this comic, which is something you yourself chose to add. Tread cautiously in the future. But! I am interested to see where this all goes.
VITIC- Your 3D rendering continues to impress into round 2. I dig the aged and paper cut out quality and difference you've given the characters. This almost feels a bit videogamey in its 'platformer-ness'.As we go along we lose a bit of the quality of your paper figures, which leaves me to wonder if these were the finalized versions you intended or the deadline got the better of you. Still though, I can't deny the charm of them on page one. The juxtaposition of styles really appeals. I think if there's a challenge I'd pose to you goin forward, it'd be to try and better integrate your drawn elements like the crashing waves into your 3D models.
ONION- Ooh, from page one you had me smiling. I LOVE the amount of breathing room you allowed for that bottom panel- and just the general beats of the story overall. It's shocking you afforded each of your pages the lounging space to let your panels and composition sing, but still managed to pack so much story into 5 pages.
For 'just an ocean', this is great stage work. You let the watercrafts give what could've been just boring sea some great personality with the tooth of the wood and stylized bits and bobs. It's not easy to be this technical, but your attention to it shows! Also your coloring paired with your inkwork this time around is giving me major Tom P. vibes. Especially that bottom panel of Satuhn on page 2 I think if I had any notes, it'd be to give your action moments some SFX love. I almost missed that attack and evasion on the bottom of page 3 because it hugged the bottom of the panel and felt rather out of the way.
From the start I think the idea of elaborating on a start and end of a story with an implied middle is an interesting approach. It definitely does give you time to let the characters interact but unfortunately with 3 pages it does still feel a little rushed. The mix of 2D and 3D is very interesting and I really liked the way the way the boat acts as kind of a movie set, however it seems like this round the 2D side of your comics suffered a bit, especially on page 3 where the character detail is significantly reduced. Really interested to see you continue with the 2D + 3D style as it's super unique and can lead to some very interesting panels.
Very impressed to see this in full colour considering the deadline and the amount of detail on display. The visuals are really wonderful, especially the final panels that really zoom out in to the open ocean. I appreciate the idea of a confrontation solved by "just talking it out" but it would have been nice for the exchange or incident to have been given a more central focus before Jamison explained herself. I was also left wanting a little more of Driftwood considering their purpose is mostly to provide information on another character. However, I will say that despite my issues the paneling and composition make it quite an easy read and the way you fleshed out the backgrounds and the various vehicles gave the comic a very defined "sense of place" for a story taking place on the open sea.
Great comic Vitic. I am a really big fan of how you rendered this comic, its so grimy and really gives off this feeling of a bad day on the sea, it's really funny when tied into the conversation of taxes. Like of course it would be as gloomy as possible when the topic has turned to filling taxes. I would've enjoyed seeing at least like one little sneak peak into what the adventure was, the joke itself didn't fully work for me and I really just wanted to see what sort of wacky adventure they would be going on, even if just for a panel. Apart from that I really enjoyed it, your style in this comic gave me big paper mario vibes with the colourless 2d characters on a 3d grim background. it didnt work for me at first but on a few rereads I really started to enjoy it and think it was a big strength in your comic. it gave it some real good charm to it. nice job.
Onion this is also a really good comic. your rendering is absolutely superb, the sky, the sea, the fire, the characters, they all looked absolutely lovely. this is truly a joy to marvel at you did great on all of the visuals. Personally the story didn't capture me. I don't know who Satuhn is, and I haven't really been given a reason to care for them, so it hurts the comic a lot because there's a lot more focus on Satuhn than there is on Driftwood. Espically with only 5 pages I feel like you gotta focus on your character and your opponent, you can do this with a longer comic cause it still gives you space to include more of other characters and you can develop things like this. Good job this is a beautiful comic, that last page is great, and a very inventive use of Jamison's umbrella. And I do agree with Driftwood, what a weird fellow indeed
Even though you obviously didn't have the time to get as much done on this as you might have wanted, it's still a very cute comic! I still like your use of 3-D elements for backgrounds, and the lack of full color on your figures really makes it seem more like Paper Mario to me, which I kind of love! It makes me a bit sad we didn't get to see the adventure, but the title card is a funny way to get through that! Driftwood is such a cutie and I think you really captured Jamison! I love that the most complete panel is the one of absolute ANGUISH that she has that Driftwood doesn't know what taxes are. I look forward to seeing more aquatic adventures from Driftwood!
Wow, what an impressive amount of work in just this week! Your colors were bright and sunny and really make me sad summer is almost over here! I just wanna go chill on Driftwood's boat and soak up some rays! That panel of Jamison describing their bounty looks rad, and makes me kind of hope we run into Satuhn later! I like how Driftwood is a sweet smol cinnamon roll and only wants to protect their friend. If I had to give one critique, I'd say that maybe you could push your expressions a bit more? Driftwood and Jamison both look great, but their faces don't seem to move a lot. Great work on this comic though, especially in the short timeframe we had! The vibe is immaculate and I want to go ride on Jamison's flying boat! (I don't want to find out how far behind on my multiversal taxes I am, though)
I'm really fond of how you merge your 3D skills with your 2D ones! I think you do the mixed media a lot of justice in creating a comprehensible and fun to read comic. I also love the little spongebob-esque cutaway on page 3, and you did well in providing enough context after the cutaway to let the reader piece together what may have happened. Though I love the visuals of the art, I admit that page 3 loses a little bit of clarity both visually and story-wise. The first time I read it, I didn't see Driftwood swimming off into the bottom right, and got a little bit lost on what happened. To solve this, you could give Driftwood a slight outline that's lighter than the background, as the black and dark blue seem to meld into each other a little bit. Overall, I think you give the characters a lot of personality, and the 3 pages you went for communicates much more content than some longer comics I've seen in the past. You've done a good job, Vitic!
Your rendering and colors are fantastic! You mix in your white and black lines really well to provide a sense of shadows and highlights on the ocean. I especially like the last panel on page 2, where Satuhn is lit by fires, as it's incredibly dramatic and fun to look at. That being said, although your colors and rendering works really well, there can be times where the comic has diminished clarity in favor of showcasing characters and colors. This is a mix of values (black and white ones) being a bit too similar in some panels, and actions being important but not focused on (in my opinion, so take this with a grain of salt!), such as in page 3's second last panel. But overall your comic is fun to read, and I absolutely adore the big panel on the last page- it really captures the essence of the vast ocean and is very pretty in general. Fantastic job, Onion!