TW: Gore, mentions of violence against children
*Page 4, Panel 4 should say ..."*I* may be a thief"
Voting is closed.
Yowza! Now THAT'S a team-up! That last page and a half are straight dynamite, and the set-up to the finale feels appropriately rich, with enough detail and engagement to keep me into it. As far as the story goes, my only area of improvement would be giving the heroes a bit more of a challenge; the escape from the cage feel fore-concluded before it happens, which really isn't that much of an issue with a five-page comic, but the adversity level could be a bit higher. The team-up feels like it was earned enough in place of a really daunting physical challenge in any case, and I'm truly impressed with how much story you packed in here.
Poor Lu just can't catch a break! Your lighting has me with my jaw on the floor over here. GREAT renderings of the low-light scenes, and w/o losing any clarity in the action/ layout (some of these angles are a real treat, incidentally). Narrative wise, I loved the second page, but it felt a bit disjointed from the rest of the story, and I was a bit disappointed it didn't really tie back into the action that followed. The climax also felt a touch abrupt, and not quite as satisfying a conclusion as the round 1 comic. Still! This is a standout comic for the round, and I'm deeply enjoying the almost anthology-like feel of Lu's adventures.
Really excellent work on this comic! Big ambitious panels with a lot of attention given to framing the characters within this 3d scene (though with such extreme size difference, I suppose you HAVE to). The dialogue between the characters was very convincing and gave me a really good feel for their respective qualities while still being entertaining to read in and of itself, which is great. The style shift you incorporate for the within-comic narration - not just swapping to sepia tones, but also employing a more restrained grid template for the panels, is super smart and works deliciously. To top it off I'm absolutely ENTRANCED by the punching panel on page 3 this is a PERFECT example of letting a big panel speak volumes instead of breaking it up into a more "dynamic" sequence of smaller panels so once again, fantastic work. There's something to marvel on every page here, really. And the use of environment-appropriate colour shifts is notes and appreciated. Just a really stellar comic by all accounts.
There's some really impressive artistic chops hidden behind the admittedly very rough and loose lines. The quality drops maybe a bit too hard on the final page (would it have killed you to hide the rough layers?) but overall the entire comics reads super well and I gotta admire the energy and skill you pack into these dynamic poses, shot compositions and expressions. The writing packs a lot of character in and I really enjoyed the interactions you have going in this comic, of which there are many. Seriously, this feels like a DENSE read for 5 pages. There's a few grammatical polishes needed here and there. I noticed a consistent lack of apostrophes on words like 'you're', 'can't', 'I'm', etc. but overall once again, I'm really impressed by this work.
HOLY SMOKES CAMEL! When are you going to stop blowing my damn mind. That 3rd panel in the first page was exceedingly clever. The perspective made it look like Captain Skyheel was normal sized. Quality is top notch in every page. I am glad that you treated us to this little cat and mouse chase between Lu and Skyheel. The angles that you used were cleverly chosen and really added to the drama/excitement of the whole scene. And I am sure you're going to hear this a lot, but DAMN THAT LAST PANEL ON PAGE 3. Talk about climax! That was really amazing and that feels like an understatement.
GoldenOwl - Wow, you've given us a lot to chew on for a one weeker comic! IDK how you did it! And you went all out with the details too. I know you skipped the colors this time but still the amount of effort you put into the panels and everything does not go unnoticed. Your character designs are all very unique and remarkable, even the NPCs seemed well thought out. Pretty cool that you referenced Lu's previous round too to build up her character even more. Captain Skyheel and his crew are a hoot and they never cease to amaze me with their hijinks.
camel, your composition is always brilliant, and you do a great job here of only giving just as much detail as you have to maintain an impact. the minimalism of pg4pns5-6 are excellent, for example, and yet at the same time you push out something as maximal of pg3pn6. the robin hood screed is maybe a little rote and didn't need a whole page dedicated to it to get the same feel, but the fun and creative inclusions of skyheel and co. in the vignettes well and stopped me from glossing over, especially that fifth panel. and the flight itself was, of course, great! a joy to view and read!
you do a great job with these heavy inks! though messy, even on the pages with the thumbs hanging out behind them, they don't really feel incomplete. there's a lot of little guys you gotta pose dynamically in this comic, and you pull it off with aplomb. i like the emotional element you add along with lu's first comic, but i fear it might be a tad overwritten, that some of this might be better served in implication, especially within the bounds of a 5 page comic that, i won't lie, has a very liberal page resolution. but writing inefficiencies be damned, the action you've thrown in here is wonderful, and it's resulted in a great comic!
What a fun comic! It feels like you managed to fit a lot of story and panels into 5 pages, but it never felt overcrowded (Other than maybe the beginning of page 3? It feels like Skyhook pops right up. A little breathing room could have helped that. Super minor point!). The pacing feels pretty good, and once the action starts it's super cool! Your setting is clear, and it's impressive to see how much background work you got done in just the week. I like the nod to Lu's last fight, and I like seeing both of these two interact. Skyhook refusing to leave his men behind really helps set up that he's a good guy, albeit a bit more willing to plunder than most. I love the team up at the end too, it's really fun seeing them both in action! I don't think I'd have naturally thought of these two characters as working so well together, but you made me want to see more of their adventures!
Lu has a point, she's an icon, she's a legend, and she IS the moment, now come on now. Your writing is as impressive as ever, I love that Lu's nature sort of lends itself to each of these comics being little vignettes before she's ported off to another world. I think you did a wonderful job writing Skyheel, and having him give his reasons for why he doesn't feel bad about pirating. Your colors do a great job of setting the mood, and oh my GOD can we talk about that last panel on page 3??? A banger. I'm not even sure what to offer for critique, I think you did a great job with the amount of time we had. Awesome work!
Wow this is a stellar comic. Just off the bat your composition is just remarkable. Really clever to start the comic off with Captain skyheel being backlit and the shadow just being huge, what a great way to immediately show off what a huge personality they have. Page 2 has a weird flow to it the way the word bubbles are layed out makes me want to read it 1, 2, 4, 3, 5, 6 I dont know if this was intentional and thats how it's supposed to be read but that is the way my eyes follow the word bubbles, if not you just gotta watch out with how they flow. Other than that really strong comic, the changes from full colour palette to limited work really well and make the fists punching the wall scene hit so much harder (no pun intended). I really like that panel. Great job.
I cannot believe this is 5 pages, you fit so much storytelling into this that it feels just like a full comic, hats off to you for this, real incredible work. This comic is filled with so much charm and whimsy I was immediately taken by it, was just a joy to read. I'm sure it's been pointed out but in case it hasn't Page 3 has a little layout problem with the word bubbles, the "way out" and " oh well i better get comfy" are super close to each other and with the first one breaking over into the panel it makes me want to continue that line, so i just skip over the panel that comes in between the two. I'm really impressed by your black spotting in this though it's really well done and does a lot in this comic. I really loved this, amazing job Golden Owl
Another gorgeous comic. What's always struck me about the work you're presenting is how evocative your shading is. It immediately introduces a tremendous sense of foreboding and energy to the first page, and further exemplifies a truly stunning third page. It's endlessly dynamic, and highlights stark moments of darkness such as Lu preparing to snap loose.
I'm also a massive fan of the switch to a muted color palette for the flashback sequence. The introduction into the backstory in the first page's final panel reads wonderfully well, never catching the reader off-guard with the shift.
The way you've drawn character expressions, as well, is just beautiful. Skyheel's initial "Hark!" does a harrowing job at introducing such a daunting, if pint-sized force of piracy, while Lu's sheer anger and determination in breaking her bonds carries such weight that immediately sets her as a truly imposing force.
To offer one minor note, the way you've drawn your sound effects works wonderfully well. There's a fury and deliberate messiness that can be felt accompanying the respective panels that I find deeply visceral. However, I find the utilization of such effects muddied slightly between the first two panels onwards. Skyheel's first "Hark!" follows the same visual language as the thunk of knife against wall. It makes for a powerful, though briefly confusing character introduction.
Beyond that brief moment, you've offered up a terrific blend of thoughtful writing and visual storytelling. Great work!
First off, I want to highlight the care with which you not only gave to Skyheel, but to Lu as well. It's the mark of a strong storyteller- one who embraces another's character with the level of respect and excitement you've exhibited here. I'm also a particular fan of how you tied in references to past comics (Lu's first match-up, as an example). It presents the whole of the tournament as a living, breathing thing, rather than a series of disconnected bouts.
However, as a slight note, I would recommend avoiding annotations, such as to the round one comic on page one as well as to your first page later on page three. You've crafted an excellent comic, and inciting a reader to leave the comic for context may interrupt the flow of your own work.
I would also love to praise your paneling on page four in particular. It ties together so many coinciding actions in a way that feels easy-to-read, interconnected, and thrilling to experience. Not only that, but it accentuates the way you draw each character with such momentum. The way the crew plummets from the ship, the way Skyheel wakes up drooling and bruised, the way Lu charges her "magic hullabaloo." It all feels endlessly alive. Great work!
A fantastic effort on your part again. You really are killing it with the color selection on your comic, it's absolutely fantastic looking. Minor criticism but you've got a couple of weird faces in some spots - that first shot of Captain Skyheel stands out in particular to me, but mostly you're great. Lu's adventures are really winning me over and your 2nd page is absolutely fantastic. Very good effort on that one in particular. I'm definitely curious where you're planning on taking this story but you continue to please here, so keep up the great work. Very nice comic!
I love the inks you're using for this! Really nice solid shadows give off a ton of personality to your style. The characters are likewise very expressive and I love the gamut of emotions you're playing with here. The inks are very nice looking and I like you going more subdued on it to focus on the inks in general. Your story likewise was a lot of fun and I really enjoyed it. You did a good job having the Captain's personality come across well and I'm am appreciating him a lot more now. This definitely feels like an improvement from round one and you're doing great displaying your writing chops with this comic. A very good effort, I can't wait to read more from you! Nice work!
CAMEL- such rich warm colors on this one. It's not easy to interpret low light considering your humble little candle source, but I think you pulled it off wonderfully. The hard light highlights, the long shadows. Way to set the stage and place our little Skyheel in a position of power. It's wild that you hardly remember he's pint sized with the way you frame your panels and these characters interacting with one another starting out. Also, small inconsequential things aren't left exempt from your eye. You could've drawn any throwaway chair on page one ,literally would've been a serviceable minimum, but the *design* of the backrest and the upholstery is suuuch a great extra dash of character. It's really great.
And then the paradigm shifts. Lu getting the upper hands and that panel where she's punching through the walls has to be my favorite panel in this entire comic. Such impact- literally!
I dig that we're only in round 2, but Lu is coming away seriously affected by the characters she crosses. These aren't one and done "An encounter happened". You're really showcasing your opponents and still factoring your character with how she's changing with each one. That's no mean feat and a testament to your storytelling. I'm so ready for round 3
GOLDENOWL- I'm so glad you nixed the colors to go hambone on your inks because your effort really shows! Granted the deadline crept up and no doubt tugged at the quality, but I don't think it affected the overall impression and style you brought across.
The design of Jagslang and their lackeys is really cool. I know they were the conflict point for this story, but in all honesty? I could've done without. What you wrote once we got to Lu and Skyheel was infinitely more interesting. I gotta say I really enjoyed the dialogue and story here. I'm seeing a bit of a theme with Lu once again learning something about herself while we follow her battering ram punchy rampage. For such a scurvy scoundrel, Skyheel's got that Jiminy Cricket charm. Offering advice in that brash and piratey way. I had to give this a couple re-reads because I can't believe you managed to pack so much story in so little pages and the comic isn't crowded or too tight. Your writing does you credit, and pitted against CAMEL, that's a great weapon to have in your arsenal. You definitely made this a tough vote!
Pepper
I didn't have time for a full review so just wanna say both of these comics ruled!
Comment posted: August 29th, 2022 at 9:36 PM
Camel
Fantastic comic Goldenowl, a pleasure battling you.
Comment posted: August 23rd, 2022 at 4:46 PM
Sparkle Magic Didi™
The writing for both of these comics is sooo good. What a treat to read both!
Comment posted: August 23rd, 2022 at 12:54 PM
GoldenOwl
Camel, you wrote Skyheel SO WELL. Im grinning like a fool every time I read it
Comment posted: August 23rd, 2022 at 12:48 AM
Piñata
I can't wait to leave a review on this one- GOSH both sides were just so GOOD!
Comment posted: August 23rd, 2022 at 12:32 AM
Wolkemesser
Two of the best storytellers from round one in this match; I'm really jazzed to see what y'all cook up for round 2 :)
Comment posted: August 16th, 2022 at 7:13 PM