Oculama

Charming. Your comics are charming. I like how even when you're busy and going for a modest approach, you don't skimp on the charm. Making a simple joke and keeping it tight was absolutely the right move instead of going beyond your means. The joke is good and I love how Maggie just looks dead already when we get there in the final page. The Fieri Oath is a great joke as well. I would love to fight ol' Verm sometime in the future. Good work!

I was wondering if people were going to go more for the SAW influence in their work and you did not disappoint at all on your end. The setting and background work is so visceral and I love how you made Verm look so brutish. I got a great sense of who Maggie was out of the gate and I love how she just seemed utterly helpless here, only winning through sheer dumb luck carrying her through the end. This was a fantastic comic and I can't wait to see what you do in the later rounds. Excellent work.

Up front, your character facial work is outstanding - great balance for Maggie's expression, and the masking for comedic effect at no point diminishes the tension of the setup.

I like the efficiency of the death game narration - the diction and tone is properly informative, but also dispassionate in a way that punctuates the desperation of what's going on in the room.

Generally you cultivate a really bleak and high-stress environment, which is par for the course for a death game, but I felt the anxiety in the room here more so than a lot of other comics in this first round. Part of that is, naturally, the piles of viscera in every corner of the room - having read a few of your comics over the years, it's unsurprising to see you have a deft hand rendering the absolute sloppiest (in a visceral sense, not a commentary on the art style) way, and I can practically feel the meat up to my elbows as I watch Maggie and Verm dig. There's a really appreciable variety to the human bits in the comic that you could've been excused for not including, given the timeline, but it was oddly gratifying to identify muscle, bone, and innards in the mix.

Having Verm be so...intense? loud? throughout was a great choice that helped elevate that sense of stress. We've all been around someone who acts like that in non-high stakes situations, and it's an absolute nightmare. Throw that high-strung, clearly freaking out person into a situation with bombs and keys buried in people pieces? Amplified twentyfold.

But it all adds up to making Maggie's "key" to victory being all the more believable. of COURSE the guy who's gone a bit unhinged and who is slippery with human remains from head to toe would fumble the key. It's tragic even, because as harsh and unhinged as Verm acts here, you've done a great job making the reader feel sorry for him when he beefs it.

GREAT comic. Sad to pit two service industry soldiers against one another, but it made for a stellar story.

(Unrelated to the comic proper, but I adore Maggie's battle art for the landing page; the expression is VERY Kiyoto Shitara)

Kaz this was a really well-executed gag. I legit busted up this morning reading this one for the first time, and then again on both subsequent re-reads.

The behaviour of the characters is what sells the humor for me. Verm's attack of conscious is so short-lived that it doesn't feel like Maggie should have had time to take a bite, but that really heightens the humor of the punchline, that she just went and did it anyways, even after asking for an assessment of the mushroom.

There's a lot to like about the set-up here. I highly enjoyed the smiley face "host" screen to start out; quite simple, but still somehow one of the more chilling iterations of announcer for the first round. The choice to have the game having been underway for some time via explicit stating was a good one to - there's a couple different methods being exercised in this tournament to make the scope of the death games feel grand, or at least leave the door open to the possibility, and I like your approach to it here best.

The forest/ arena setting was a nice touch too - felt like the arena from Battle Babes getting some additional use, and whether the continuity is intended or not, I enjoyed it.

Finally I like the decision to pair Maggie and Verm up. Service industry solidarity! (albeit short lived :/ ).

The smaller visual gags are pretty great too - the DG-branded cameras were nice, and though I didn't recognize it for what it was until my second read-through, but the spatula and sausage caduceus was a tremendous touch. The perfect visual to accompany the Fieri oath joke (which feels like great backdoor character-building for Verm, esp on top of his ultimate decision to try and save Maggie).

Also re: gags, I love that Maggie shifts through several face tones, between her default, getting a faceful of mud, and going death-pale after a bite of 'shroom.

Short, sweet, and funny - great job overall, and great to have Verm in the mix!

PS - props for posting emperor killing content so close to ides - a delightful touch!

Practically perfect. This was a really good first game and that finishing line was cold.

The artwork is really good! The linework is like something straight out of an official comic, and everything in the background looked icky and gross. I really wish I could've seen what you'd pull off with more time! The writing was great too! It seems like you're really comfortable writing your character as it was certainly fun to see how she got through the round.

If I were forced to make a nitpick, it'd be the massive exposition dump for you opponent. It felt like it was all his character was good for. That said it wasn't all that bad, and set up the ending perfectly.

Not too much to say here, especially with just 3 pages, but I'll try to be as fair as possible here.

The writing is the best part with the mushroom fun fact and the characterization of your character. It's also a decent gag. Unfortunately, Maggie's character is practically non-existent, and 3 short pages is still way too short to tell a decent story. Your art style is fine and consistent. There was only 1 panel in the first page that I didn't like, and that was mainly due to some form of confusion on my part, but that's about the worst of what I had to say.

Loved it! the intense writing, and the ickiness/claustrophobic/squishy viscera atmosphere was really fitting for the theme, and I loved the take on Verm! The sheer desperation and character study was executed really well as well, especially the rising tension between the characters. The comic is still readable even though it is mostly black and white linework--even with the lack of black or tone fill, the grime and guts come across well! and DING FRIES ARE DONE

Short but cute! Get that onto a tray. Nice (but unfortunately not nice for Verm's new friend Maggie). While the week deadline might have meant you had to go for shorter pages instead of a more in-depth story, this still did the job well, and you shared some fun guy facts too! The artstyle and the execution of the pages fits the comedic short story you went with (and honestly I think all it needs is a bit of tightening up with the lines).

A very strong start to the tourney!
Always a pleasure to see a comic from you Skwid!
I really like how you wrote Verm,a really strong tonal opposite to Maggie. I think my favorite part of your comic was how you handled your layout and paneling.Especially the lead up to page six, being a contrast to the rest of the layouts, to give that sense of anxiety until the key is found. Everything also flowed really nice and kept pace while still making sense and being readable. Well done dude.
The ending felt a little anti-climatic with the lead up, but the final page with the timer was a nice touch.
Awesome work man!

What a fun little comic Kazar!
I also really enjoyed the way you chose to do your layout and paneling, it flowed and read really well. I liked your use of the mushroom as the cause of death, I appreciated the little facts about the death cap, and the character writing for verm. The Fieri Oath "First serve no harm" was a very funny bit. The set up to the final panel of "Shit" was also funny.
I would have liked to see a bit more interaction between the two characters,and more exploration on your take on Maggie, but otherwise a very fun short comic.
Thank you for sharing!

This is incredibly impressive for a week long battle! You did a good job of characterizing your opponent but sadly this kind of left your own character with not much of a connection to readers. I get that in a death tournament setting, you have more of a chance to add on to your own character as you progress while you only get one shot at your opponent's. But there should still be a hook to your character, even a small one, that'll make readers want to root for them.

Good short and sweet premise! It could have used a little more explanation and atmosphere but other than that the comic was simple and to the point which when given a week is probably the smarter thing to do. At the beginning of page 2 the internal monologue can be accidentally read as a outside narration rather than a character's inner monologue so be careful of how you convey information like that in the future. In this comic's case, giving the internal monologue a border with the same green color as Verm's speech bubbles would've alleviated any confusion.

Kaz you continue to be the comedy king of the short form joke. I noticed you went for a nice little angle shot which is great to see, love to see when you're trying new angles and such. This has been part of your new wave of comics and have been getting real good! It's a shame you were knee deep in the wonderland during this as well. I did want more from the comic itself, we got alot of Verm but didnt get to see alot of Maggies personality shine which is a shame since Maggie is such a big personality character. As i said before though the jokes are on point this time around, "serve no harm" got a hearty chukle out of me and I now wonder if the Burger Tree actually exists. Either way i'm adding it to the Oculama Lore book. Great Job kaz!

Hell of a start to the tournament. (while not apart of this review, I do gotta say the fucking pose you have kills me. her smile is incredible) OK back to the review.

This is a real well done comic. You have excellent characterization of Verm, he is a disgusting man willing to put it all on the line, love how you get to see that desperation come through at the end, those final panels where it switches to more rough line art is beautiful. I do think this comic could have done with a bit more tones, there's alot going on with the blood and gore you got em digging through and some of that can get lost how it is now. Just something that'll make that next comic stand out even more. That was probably my biggest critique about the comic, the rest is very well done. Interested to see how this will effect her personality or how she interacts with some of the other to be killers in here. Great job!

Skwid – You wasted no time with preamble, throwing us straight into the thick of it. Despite the lack of color or shading, the gore and viscera were unmistakable - I could feel them in every panel. The tension never let up, keeping me completely engaged. Maggie’s character development over just 10 pages was fantastic, unfolding naturally in a way that made me eager to see what would happen next. And Verm’s panic in those final moments was absolutely palpable. Really well done!

Kazar – Haha, is it safe to say that Verm's long internal monologue sealed Maggie's fate? XD I really enjoyed your use of color, and your cute art style adds a fun contrast to the story. That said, I think some improvement in line quality could elevate your work even more—the inks looked a bit jagged. (Not sure what software you use, but stabilization settings saved me from my own shaky lines, lol.) Also, experimenting with more varied facial angles could add extra dynamism to your panels and characters. Overall, this was a great humorous take on a Death Game!

Very impressive art and page count given the time limit. The backstory for Vern was interesting, and it was a good contrast to Maggie's lack of a strong motivation. Vern removing his mask after he thinks he has won was kind of cool, but it also felt like it didn't mean much in the end. Also, Vern losing by dropping the key and accidentally kicking it over to Maggie was fine, but it feels a little bit like it just happened for the sake of Maggie winning, rather than making an interesting story beat. Overall though, I thought it was a very creative way of making a death game comic.

The comic was quite short. It is unfortunate that you were busy this week. The artwork successfully conveyed what was happening, but it definitely could have been nicer. The story was rather short and a little unsatisfying. Vern choosing to not trick Maggie only to show that Maggie had already eaten the mushroom was silly, but not terribly funny. Unfortunately, there just wasn't very much to engage with in this comic and what was there wasn't great.

Oh my goodness I love your lines so much! The confidence and quality are wonderful, and your viscera is so so well done. You achieved a great atmosphere without any rendering which is very impressive. I really felt for your portrayal of Verm with the snippet of his life you drew. Your tone and setup gave a great sense of suspense when Verm found the key only to drop it, I could feel his nerves. I cannot wait to see more from you!

Short and sweet, it gave me a good chuckle! I don’t know if you use Microsoft paint or a similar program to create, but may I suggest a bit of line confidence practice? Some of your lines are a tiny bit wobbly, and I believe if you practice making steady strokes more often, you can combat that. Your backgrounds are simple but they get the point across well enough. While I like the colored text bubbles, the font doesn't really sell to me, though I think that's mostly a nitpick more than anything. Keep up the good work!

The name on the tin did not disappoint. This really was a roomful of viscera for these poor suckers to contend with- and in the grisliest way possible. Even before the obligate murder happens, you plunk us straight in the meat and more meat of the situation, where Maggies reaction feels very true to life to any of us coming to in such a situation. Too often as readers we expect a clever ruse or gambit to survive, but I think this comic has to be one of the realer reactions to living a sudden nightmare scenario.
Whether your choice to stay black and white was economical or or a strategy, I think really helped you here. The setting is striking in it of itself. I think rendering it further would've been just a smidge to gratuitous and the spectacle of it would've drowned out Maggie's utter "wha? buh? huh?" confusion as she gets her bearings with some great expression work. Even your opponent managed to get some great emoting panel to panel despite wearing a mask.

Haha, you had me at Guy Fieri oath. Down to the culinary version of the Caduceus Verm loyally follows. Way to really lean into your character gimmick for a nice straightforward punchline. I don't think ending your comic at the 'oh shit' moment of Maggie taking a bite of the mushroom was a wrong move. If anything at this point, this critique is more aesthetics than anything, but I definitely would've loved to have seen a reaction of poor Maggie being dispatched by said fungi. Maybe even subverting expectation and having the mushroom pull out a gun to eliminate her.
Still though, this story wise was pretty strong. I'd love to see your artwork follow suit by loosening up the rigidness of your styling.

Really great work, especially for a week. It's a straightforward premise, but I don't think the reader needs any more preamble to grab on since the conflict is more about Maggie having the guts to act now that she can't back out. Having her effectively win by chance but still putting the choice on her to take the key was a good way to have her character develop without having her suddenly win because she started putting in effort at the last moments.

I think some more spot blacks for the backgrounds could help distinguish foreground and background a bit better, especially with so much detail in the guts and no tones. They worked well in the panels you used them in but would've been a big help for stuff like the first page's first panel. Your movement is great, especially the way Verm rips off the mask and then begins sliding. Your expressions are great though I think they could be pushed further if Maggie's irises were wider in a few more of the panels where she has a neutral expression. That way the dot eyes, which make her look stressed, would stand out a bit more like when she laughs on page 4. Though I think it'd also work if they were always dots, a bit like how One Piece does it.

I like when your panels break the grid. It's a good way to shake things up visually or make things feel really hectic like on page 6, but they mess with panel flow in a few places. For example, the way the three panels of her clenching her fist on page 5 overlap the panels below leads my eyes to the second panel rather than the wind-up. Also, dedicating a full page to Verm finding the key was great for pacing.

I know your line work is probably looser due to the narrow deadline, but I love how lively it is. Great stuff!

This is a simple comic, but I like it a lot for that. The gag worked well and the Fieri oath was cute. The pacing for the joke is set up well - three pages is perfect for it - though I'd suggest using panels in a row next time. I think the gutters could help pace and divide stuff like when Verm considers whether he should let it kill her but remembers his oath instead. Both in one panel it bleeds together a bit. Having the top two thirds of the second page be in Verm's thought bubble is a great touch, though.

As far as the art goes, that all comes with practice and there's not much beyond generic advice I could give. Though I'd recommend using less absolute colors in the future. I think Verm and Maggie's colors work fine, but the brown for the background was unpleasant.

Oh these compositions were just lovely, especially love the way you create those collage pages with everything happening in the background. The only ask i could have is that, since these pages are only ever line art, during the collages (mostly just talking about page 3 here) what i would do to make the page less visually busy would be to turn the opacity down just a smidge on the panels BEHIND Vermis. leave the text bubble black, leave the timer, and leave Vermis 100% opacity, and that would help with visual clutter. Other than that, it's a fantastic work with great cinematography and compelling angles that make this bottle-episode both compelling & easy to read!

LOVE ME VERMIN !! It's great seeing you make comics again! The big joke of the comic was well told and I liked that in the context of a death game, Vermin is still an up standing guy. The "Serve No Harm" bit in Vermin's head was also fantastic. The one bit i do enjoy about the world building in the comic is that the beginning bit about "being down to the last 16" is atcually a very fun way to frame the narrative of the tournament. I love it whenever there is actually a world implied outside the realm of what the viewer sees in a comic and having there been even more the characters went through to get to where we pick up is awesome!