Oculama

I thought this comic was very well thought out! I liked the rules explanation and while you may have been worried about being too wordy, but I think you did the perfect amount here. It all felt appropriately tense with the explanation and mind games going on, which was excellent. I also really like your art style! It's a bit rough around the edges, but I think with more anatomy and practice with the fundamentals, you'll really have your style come into itself. I think as one general suggestion, when you had Mingo on stage before waking up, I think a different color scheme would have been more effective, to help the transition to reality have more punch to it. On the whole, this was super good! I can't wait to see you do more on the site. Good job!

Stellar economy of the page, a perfect use of two-tone grey, and your story was exceedingly tight and a unique take on the entire genre of this tournament. You handled your opponent expertly and this match-up ended up being perfect, because I can easily see the two of them having been in a previous relationship, You even had the vindictive nature of both shine through nicely here as well. You're naturally old hat at this entire process, so you know what you're doing and doing it well. I can't wait to see what you do next round. Excellent work!

I like how Mingo takes the form of a epithet erased character in this one. You gave us a lot of backstory and character development for both characters which was nice . Though it came across as a little bit expositiony. The rules of the game being just text and verbal explanation was nice for new players but it was kind of a long read. So by the time I understand the rules of the universe getting to the characters doing their backstory spills felt like it didn't have any weight to it. Just the good old-fashioned OCT tactic of verbal abuse.
I would have liked to see more of what the characters are interacting with even if the room is unadorned and it would be too hard to draw a crowd of people. Your outfits are really good and tell us a lot about them. I just wish you could have found a way to make this character driven without relying on heavy dialogue you know? A Little environmental storytelling goes a long way.
Also generous of you to let Mingo's lore be that he dated your own character!
I never watched nose anime. Is this nose anime?

Spoilers

Your plot felt really heavy and involved. I never knew what was real or not until it happened. Like both characters were told the other had a secret about how the game worked and then were kept guessing. Right up until the review when someone you know explodes or whatever spoiler alert.
There were a few times when you could have used a transition to help us realize time had passed. Like the part in the first page where it's either a dream or a memory and then suddenly he's not trying to shoot himself in the head anymore he's laying on the floor.
Or the part where they gathered the numbers off each other's collars. It's implied that the numbers really were on the calors I guess but I didn't see that part so I wasn't sure.
The subtle inclusion of a queen size bed in the room is enough to count as shipping for me.

It's such a treat to see a veteran of the craft saunter in and stretch their comic making muscles for a tournament- and one with death in the name at that. This story set up from page one has such an interesting hook prompting the reader with a question and seeing the mysterious beats of temptation that landed poor Cassidy in this predicament. So mysterious in fact our temptress has their face obscured by their word bubble was such a 'ooh, why didnt I think of that' moment. Once we get into the meat and potatoes of the challenge, I half expected the story to fall into the usual trope of 'she finds a way to suddenly get good and wins the match' so I was pleasantly surprised to find the story just reinforces she's a loser that could never cut it when it came to gambling. Its why she's in this situation in the first place. Her choice of beau is just the cherry on top of her terrible choices and making your opponent the paramour was pretty clever. Mingo being an equally horrid person was such a fun read. I especially loved the expressions of self satisfaction as he dressed poor Cassidy down.
I'll agree and say this comic was leaning on the wordy side, and I'm left wondering if more pages would've helped you spread this dialogue out, but I'm talking with the luxury of review and not the fact you all had a week to do this, which is freakin ridiculous by way of output.

Round 1 and we're starting off with a bang! you had me at the gun pointed to the head, which left me hopeful this was a framing device we'd see later in the story, but was puzzled to find there wasnt explanation or resolution to it? Did Mingo kill himself in that comedy club/Vegas show? Are the death games just a terrible hellbound isekai? I don't think comics need to answer all of a readers questions, but you started with such a heavy note of despair from Mingo at the end of his rope he saw no other way out. It was an arresting hook I expected to influence the story. To go from that to death games where he suddenly wants to live and is no longer grappling with that ennui?
For as short as the deadline for this round 1 was, choosing a single color scheme was a clever move. You don't expect orange as a color choice, but I think it worked well to 'brand' Mingo in a sense. Also the parameters for the game where Mingo and Cassidy got different bits of the same ruleset was a fun way for them to try and negotiate the room and one another. Its tougher than it looks not to lie but still try to cover your butt!
I'm left curious as to who the mystery third individual is (and how they managed to sneak into such a tiny room undetected. stealth?) Here's hoping we find out.

Heck yes! A game-themed death game! As a big fan of Animal World: Mr. Nobody, I approve heartily. The challenge-cheating system has so much potential that you've put to fine work for your first round.

It's not exactly a flattering portrait of your opponent's OC, but you've certainly made Mingo very intriguing to the reader in the "love to hate" fashion. It's not a trivial thing to do, but you've made him both entertaining and thoroughly hateable, so well done on the writing front there.

And Cassidy! You make us feel a bit sorry for her up front, but once the interaction with Mingo starts unfolding I really felt my heart start to go out to her in a big way, even before Mingo cranked up the scumminess.

The turnaround in the second round of cards feels immensely satisfying once we get to it. The plant is a classic means of turning the tables in fiction, and even many death games (I think I've already mentioned the Belko Experiment, but that's a great one), but I was pleasantly surprised to see it show up here. And despite the narration (and Mingo) hammering on Cassidy's meekness and ineptitude, it reads as an entirely plausible play for her - a perfect mix of desperation, and split-second cunning. And of course, it's immensely cathertic to watch her get this win after everything Mingo dumps on her in the preceding pages.

Your character designs (and art overall) is quite sharp, and I've got to commend you for keeping everything looking uniformly crisp over so many pages given the time limit on this tournament. The character designs are great, of course (Mingo translates really well in your style), but there's a lot of great smaller design choices (lil Mammon is the perfect cross of adorable and repugnant, and the inclusion of the display for the player's winnings in the collar was super-slick) that keep things visually very interesting over the course of 14 pages.

Terrific comic overall, and one of the most memorable executions (to say nothing of the execution ;) ) for round one!

What I like best about this entry is that you really dove into the conundrum side of the death game genre. This felt the most "liar game" -esque of the first round stories, much to its credit.

The rules, as they are, are pretty straightforward here, but there's enough subtle elements at play that get exercised to keep it interesting. The "no lies" rule forces some interesting slants to the conversation, and the time limit restrictions (both the 15 minute and 45 second ones) keep the action humming along right quick.

Both of you did terrific character work for this R1, and I'm intrigued how you both took different tacks in which OC was the dominant personality in this showdown. Mingo here is pretty fascinating; endearingly pathetic in a way, for all he lets himself get pushed around, but also scheming and (within limits) duplicitous, while not being so entirely without conscience that he doesn't fret over the possibility that his actions will kill Cassidy. One of my favorite choices that you made here was to have it be her, and not him, that seals her fate by completing the collar codex when he was panicking.

Cassidy feels wonderfully human here as well - aggressive and abrasive, but completely understandably so, given the circumstances, and you can't help but feel bad for her when she goes berserk at the end. And it speaks volumes that her ire seems to dissipate the moment she thinks she might have a lease on life again (deliciously cruel of you to write it that way, I might add ;) )

Great stuff, and a really nice job capturing the panic and tension you'd expect a person to experience in a death games scenario!

The decapitation at the end was a really interesting choice - unexpected (especially after the earlier pages confirmed that the collars do in fact explode) and (I'm guessing) a clever segue into round two of the tournament.

This was amazing!!!

I'm just going to say it; this is in contest of being my favorite Round 1 entry so far. In fact, scratch that, it's most definitely my favorite! I loved the casino set up, I love the theme you proposed and how well it ties into both villains' philosophy, the art style is great and has a lot of charm, and the pacing of the story was just perfect.

Speaking on the story, I really love how tense and hopeless you were able to make the game feel. It got to the point where I almost convinced myself I was reading your opponents round. All of it wrapped up in a way that sets the tone for the rest of the tournament.

I honestly can't even think of a good nitpick!

This was a really well written round.

The game you chose was an interesting one to say the least, and the solution you came up with was really clever. You even gave us the hints needed to come to the same conclusion ourselves, so kudos to you on that! Most of the fun came from the writing but I don't want you think that your art was slacking. a few awkward poses aside your art had some wonderful expressions.

Fantastic start to the tourney! Really strong comic!
Really nice layouts, good pacing. Strong Black and white comic with good use of tone. The writing was really well don, good character exploration for both characters, the way you tied them together was great. The set up was ~executed~ really well. Also Mammon was a nice touch, well used.
Honestly any critiques I have for this would feel really nit picky.
Honestly, awesome work dude, I look forward to seeing more!

Very fun comic Pizza man!
A nice entry for the tourney! straight forward set up and nice interaction between the characters. I thought your panels and page layouts were very well done. I also liked your use of orange as the monochrome palette, I think you did that very nicely.
The only critique that comes to mind is the shadowy figure coming in at the end to kill Cassidy felt a little out of place. Just kinda swooped in there.

But otherwise, I think you did a really nice job! Good work dude!

Shameful - Wow! This is the first comic I've read from you, and I’m thoroughly impressed. The way you seamlessly intertwined Cassidy and Mingo’s complex relationship with the intensity of this high-stakes death game was masterful. I loved how every moment unfolded—it kept me hooked from start to finish.

Even though we all had an idea of who would die in the end, your writing had me second-guessing myself at every turn. The tension was palpable, and Cassidy’s final move was pretty clever. And your art? Absolutely exquisite. Every panel was a feast for the eyes, enhancing the drama and emotions perfectly.

Consider me a new fan—I can't wait to read more of your work!

Pizza - The art could use a bit more polish, but I never had trouble following the action. And as I got deeper into the story, I became so engrossed that I hardly even noticed the rough, unfinished look.

I found it fascinating how Mingo initially seemed resigned to dying, yet when confronted with the truth, his deep desire to live came through. The way you escalated the tension with each page was impressive—I could feel the stress and anxiety mounting between Cassidy and Mingo.

And that ending was completely unexpected. Now I wonder who that 3rd person could be?

absolutely legendary showing. massive congratulations for putting together something of this length and quality under such a strict deadline. As far as I'm aware the comic is flawless. I especially love that you gave the two characters a shared backstory, and how that opened up the story for you to create a richer struggle for Cassidy to go through, and a more cunning way to get out of it. Cassidy is already one of my favorite characters in the tournament.

I really enjoyed the concept of this challenge, although it only really sold me at the halfway point because I found the first three pages to be a bit too dialogue heavy with art that was 90% just the character's heads. The solution of needing to rely on mutual trust and the additional rule of the collars exploding if you lie created an interesting challenge, but there were definitely ways it could have been tightened up. The plot hinges on the fact that only Mingo was given the extremely relevant clue that only one person can make it out of the game alive, which really sets Cassidy up to fail. Overall though a really nice showing, with an interesting cliffhanger to bounce off.

I am absolutely in love with your style! The thick lines with thin line details you do are so solid. You made such wonderful choices throughout your entire comic and I can’t help but gush and feel for poor Cassidy. From your paneling, to your font choice, it’s all great and a feast for my eyes. Your bubbles are spaced, well placed, and easy to read and that’s a big thing for me. Kudos to you for a fantastic comic and I can’t wait to see more from you in the future!

You got a solid story going on but I’d love to see you give your side profile work and backgrounds some more attention. They took me out of the action a lot of the time, but with more practice I know you’ll do well. Another thing I’d like to suggest is using a very rounded or beveled rectangle for your word bubbles, as the free handed ones don’t look as polished as they could. On top of that, maybe try and study conventional sound effect text to help boost the mood.

This is some next-level impressive work for this tournament with a week long drawing time! Your comic style is efficient and extremely clean and that baffles me, i am so excited to see more of your work, whether in a tournament or not! The comic gives off such a fun, expressive Kaiji style of storytelling its everything i could have wanted out of this tournament, and this character specifically! Bravo and an absolutely amazing display

The narrative feels a little cut short by the ending, which is one of the bigger issues that i have with the comic as a whole, having the comic be a dialogue between two characters but having it end with someone in the background of the fight come in and steal a kill is hardly ever a satisfying way to end off a death tourney comic and i feel as if it kept this one back.