Oculama

Very nice work on the continuity from round one to this one. I think a great accomplishment of this comic is that it not only picks up where Rafe and Renato left off at the end of round one, but pretty seamlessly integrates where Xylem and Beekeeper were at the end of their own R1 story.

There's some especially striking compositions throughout this comic that stayed with me after a few read-throughs. The final low-angle panel of the bloody sword as Renato and Rafe walk away is really good, of course (I like your use of large swaths of grey and black to make up the space - makes it seem as cavernous and lonely as the space it drifts through), but I also like the last panel of page 9. the foreshortening is at its strongest here, and captures the feeling of suddenly suspended forward motion perfectly.

Some of this is carry-over from the first round, but I deeply enjoy Rafe's werewolf design; the little touches (eyes, noes, eyebrow, etc) that echo his human appearance work so nicely, both as visual cues and as the overall look for the form. It's one of the really strong points of this round, how fully and palpably you render the wolf's form moving through the space of the station, stalking and hunting.

On the note of the hunting, I enjoy the sort of bait and switch you execute with the orange visual elements. Initially it seemed to me Rafe was hunting the unique scent of either Xylem or the beekeeper, but the reveal that it was actually the burnt remains of Rajang's body, that just happened to be hosting Xylem, was an interesting twist.

I also like that, ultimately, the deaths in the comic are a result of people trying to protect someone they love, who is fundamentally in a place where they cannot control their own impulses/ appetite. Both Renato and Beekeeper are just looking after their brother/ surrogate daughter respectively, and Renato's prioritizing of his brother's safety and Beekeeper's desire to avenge the death of Xylem, even when the risks to his own life are clear, are deeply sympathetic.

Thanks as always for creating and sharing this comic with us. There's some terrific panels here, and a nicely executed flow of action throughout.

This one is really quite cool! You managed to bring the moving parts from your first round forward while focusing on the cure-seeking thread of your opponents' R1 not only effortlessly, but exceptionally entertainingly as well.

You went high-risk, high-payoff with your approach to unstick the narrative from time, and my assessment would be that it paid off dividends. You present the disparate disastrous events in a way that keeps the action humming along at an engaging clip, and your transitions between different points in time are sufficiently smooth.

Something I greatly appreciate about BK is how his fully good intentions are consistently leading to the deaths of others, in ways that you could argue are cavalier, but ultimately are difficult to fully lay at his feet. Tragedies of errors are such a potent tool in horror, and BK seems to bring those with him, and because they come about from genuine efforts to do good for others (largely Xylem, but there you go), really adds a lot to the storytelling from my POV.

My favorite part of this comic is how you really, REALLY stick the landing, not just once, but twice. I thought, briefly, that page 21 was the final page, and I was honestly very impressed with the ambition to end the comic on something that BK could see, but the reader couldn't. I genuinely think it could have worked as the final page fo the comic, and I was a little thrown when there was an additional page, but I was just as impressed with that ending as the panel I thought was the end. Xylem's new, more lupine form has a menace to it that the beat panel before that smile (that damn smile...) at the end that is maybe my favorite final panel of the tournament so far. Unnerving, yet still somehow charming.

On that note, your faces overall in this comic were wonderfully expressive, and I really enjoyed the emotion you were able to squeeze out onto every page.

Overall a really great showing from the both of you. I've been really impressed with the saga of BK and Xylem, and that's a credit to your respective efforts!

First of all I love the painterly grey scale that you added to the comic. I went back between this one and your last round and wow it really makes this comic POP! I really love the inclusion of the red that shows up in the scent. That Sniff page is really REALLY good. I think where the comic falls slightly is in the handling of Xylem. I feel like Xylem and Beekeeper Captain take a bit of a back seat, Xylem much more than the Captain. I do wish we got to see more of her outside of introduction and then her subsequent death very shortly after. Xylem and beekeeper have such an amazing dynamic in the first round that feels very missed in this comic, we get to see Beekeepers reaction and see that Xylem is somebody who Beekeeper cares for a lot but without any outside context there's no reason to believe that beekeeper would care for a shrub. If there was just a bit more there that pointed towards this father daughter relationship they have going on, it would have brought it all together better and would have shown off your opponents characters more which I would have been a very big fan of. But this is also a really good comic. yall excel with the art and grey scalling as I already said but I think you two are also really great at writing the dynamic between your own characters. Apart from the art I think the interactions between Renato and Rafael shine in this comic. I would love to see these two's adventures some more, it is a shame that this is a death tournament and even in the best situation only one will leave this space station alive. great job on this!

Can I say, I absolutely love the story that y'all have been weaving here. Xylem and Beekeeper are one of the most interesting pairings that we have and I have loved both of your comics. Where I think you shine through so well is through Renato and Rafael, weaving them not only into your story but building a connected backstory with the beekeeper. There is ALOT going on in this comic narratively and it is hella impressive that you are able to get everything flowing as smoothly as you do. You leave Xylem to the side or a bit of the comic but she still impacts a fair bit of the story, through the experiment and subsequent ending sequences. Really great job at showing how important a character is while keeping them hidden. I think you lose a fair bit of backgrounds as you've reached a higher page count. It's still there in areas but I feel like you could add it to others, even just a splash of it helps every now and then. Finally I do want to just say how much of a character Xylem is, I am fascinated by her and did not think that this is the journey that she would have gone on. Very very fun comic, fantastic job on this you two!

Nice toning and greyscale here, and i enjoyed the splash of red to go along with it. I’m sad to say that I missed your opponent’s role in your comic, they could have been easily replaced by any other characters. It could help to aim towards giving your opposition a role that’s more attuned to their uniqueness, if you have the information to go off of. Nevertheless you both did a good job art wise!

There wasn’t a lot of love given to Xylem this round, which was a shame. Your opponent’s characters were used well, though I was a bit confused at times, for example; the serum making scene took me a while to get. But good job on getting in some color and backgrounds though, and I think your word bubbles could use a bit more fine tuning; try solid, uniform ovals instead of trying to conform to the texts shape.

So there's been a huge jump of quality in the artwork; that is undeniable. I really like the use of spots black in the beginning, the lineart is more consitently clean, the posing more natural, the lighting and shading is very dramatic and the pop of red to visually represent the scent of blood was a very nice touch.

Unfortunately I feel as though the backgrounds are too empty; they use thicker lines and have less detail than the characters inhabiting them. Even in page 1, where the art is more detailed, Renato's office lacks an extra "oomph". It lacks "character". It is just empty walls with an empty desk and holographic screens.
Something that would've helped is adding objects on that desk, or posters on the walls--- Something that says "this space has people coming in and out of it".

The cargo bay from page 10 onwards also suffers this same problem. It's very empty, there's only boxes without labels and nothing else. What kind of cargo are they carrying? How would a world with futuristic tech handle such things? The background answers none of these questions. The characters don't even utilize the environment that well during the fight scene. They hide behind the boxes yes but that could've been basically any other wall or tall surface. Show me that werewolf pushing said boxes and making a mess of the cargo bay!

Onto the story, I feel as though there's been a downgrade in the writing; I find Rafael and Renato's dynamic to be very interesting but unfortunately it kind of came at the expense of Beekeeper and Xylem. They are implemented into the story very clunkily and their presence is barely relevant (only appearing in the last pages of the comic).

Xylem is almost immediately killed off, Beekeeper is only there to mourn Xylem and get killed off by Renato. There is no interesting interactions between characters from either side. Nothing.

That aside, I want to re-iterate that this comic is very nice visually, it's just the writing that threw me off.

Art-wise I feel as though this comic suffers the same problems as the previous one, so I won't repeat myself here.

Writing-wise this was really, really great! I love how Renato and Rafael's dynamic is established here, how Rafael trusts beekeeper but Renato doesn't (really showing off how different they are) and how beekeeper is becoming more and more morally gray with each comic.
The star of the comic, to me, is Xylem. In this comic she is more of a force of nature, compared to the first comic where she was more innocent and child-like; I think it presents an interesting dilemma as to whether or not someone/something can be born inherently "evil" or if they are raised to be such.

The relationship between Beekeeper and Xylem is still sweet, in a way, but I'm noticing that it's becoming more and more "ominous" and "tense". I'm excited to see what it's building up to.

I'm typing this very close to the deadline of the voting period so I can't go into as much detail as I want to, but if you want more feedback on the writing you can reach out to me through discord.

Overall, Very good comic! Could be even better with more refined art.

What a nice read!

Your art looks noticeably more polished compared to last round's. Your backgrounds here look fairly simplistic but they still get the point across fairly well. The anatomy and energy of your figures are on point, especially with Refael's werewolf form. The only real major gripes I have with the art side of things is I've noticed in various pages where you break the camera rule a couple of times, most notably between pages 5-6 where you have Renato running down the hall in one direction and then the other way in the next page. This can break the flow of the page and even disorientate the reader a bit on the layout of the environment. Something to keep note of when you're planning out thumbs/storyboards!

Story wise, I felt the writing here was a bit weaker than your previous round. While I'm invested in seeing how the brothers' situation turn out, I was not so keen on how Xylem and Beekeeper were handled here compared to how you handled the alien siblings in the previous round. Xylem barely got any time to shine, only to be killed off as soon as she was introduced. Beekeeper had a bit more screentime but was immediately killed off before he could really do anything substantial. I like how it shows off Renato's more ruthless side when it comes to his lil bro but I can't help but feel a lil disappointed in the end.

Regardless, can't wait to see how this turns out for the brothers should you move onto the next round!

What an interesting turn of events! I love seeing ongoing plotlines in tournaments so seeing Xylem getting to evolve and develop as she grows was a nice surprise! Makes sense she'd slowly take on the form of the bodies she eats (gotta say the first developed form Xylem takes is a major cutie, hehe). Admittedly, your art's a bit on the rougher side. My major gripe is that there's some pages that I believe are supposed to be flashbacks or what not due to the different color palettes but its easy to get confused when there's not any transitions to ease into the scene change. Pages 4 to 8 are the most noticeable examples of this issue.

Aside from that issue, I really dig what you guys are coming up with this storyline! I like the little inclusion of the drama between the brothers and the Beekeeper's underlying motives in keeping Xylem safe. Pretty scummy for him to fool the brothers like that but with a cutie like Xylem, can you blame him? (ignoring the chilling smile Lycan!Xylem gives off at the end, heh)

Again, really dig what you guys got going here! Cannot wait to see how this leads up to in the next round should y'all make it :)

That was very solid. In terms of the art, those heavy shadows are working wonders for you both - really great how that was handled. Stronger lighting would have helped in the moments where that was appropriate but superb pacing in terms of paneling and storytelling really helped this. You both did a terrific job with this one and it'll be interesting to see how this story continues and develops. Great work, both of you!

Excellent storytelling with a terrific way to kill your opponent's characters. This was a very fully-featured story and wasn't wasted. You have a good understanding of how much text belongs to a bubble and you don't let yourself get bloated with it. However, artistically it would probably behoove you to take a moment, slow down, reduce your page count a bit to improve your art direction some. That being said, this was an awesome entry and you both did a great job. Great work!