Oculama

I really enjoyed the backgrounds in this, along with the screentone shading (having it be star shaped was a nice touch!), it feels vibrant but not clashing! Really nice!
I think the dialog/interactions between Sybil and Libby were really nice, I found myself wanting to see more of their interactions. Really my only note is that I wish there was more! Would've loved a page between 4 and 5 or just some more conversation between the two of them post-test.
But this is a really well-executed round regardless!

Excited to see a dialog focused comic! I think there could be some tweaks to the typeset/speech bubble layout to make it clearer as to who is talking and to aid the flow overall. Like in page 1 with the last two bubbles from Turps and Sybil, they could've been split into three or four overall, especially since there are larger line breaks between phrases that make the text feel disjointed. There are some places where lack of punctuation or typos trip me up for a moment, so just taking some time away before going back and proofreading would be good.
As someone who wasn't very familiar with Sybil previously, there are aspects of backstory that were confusing for me, like the mentions of Saal and Myrtle and their relationships to Sybil.
I was also confused at first as to why Turps switches from hero uniform to academy uniform seemingly in the middle of conversation, but I realized it was probably a flashback(?). Maybe changing the shading or speech bubble color would more clearly indicate a change in time, since I assumed the comic was linear and happening all at one time, at first.
I really love the intense shading you've got here, and the environments are very moody, the angles of the scenery are really strong!

I'm a big fan of the moodiness of this comic. The background and lighting work sets the tone really well, though it seems like the time crunch meant the last couple of pages were a bit more bare. I'm a bit confused by what is actually happening here though, and the narrative has me a bit lost. There's a lot of talking and intrigue, but not very much in the way of action, which I would have liked to see.

This comic made me sad, which is a good sign that you're doing something right, because I'm now invested in Libby's success and wellbeing. I think you established her position in the school of how she's percieved / how she thinks of herself very well. I like the color choices being used her, though I feel like the screentone effect feels a bit excessive, it's almost distracting. The background work feels really good, too. I especially like the first panel of page 2.

Oh, this comic had such a good atmosphere throughout!

The use of shadows gives the comic a more serious vibe, adding to the feeling of something bigger going on. I really love page 3 with the environment shots - it had a great atmosphere and the pacing was great. It was a text heavy round, but it had enough interesting visuals to keep us reading. The comic had a nostalgic manga vibe, which I personally dig very much too!

I think the only thing I might say is that I think it would have been interesting if Libby's personality was shown a bit more as well. I do like how she impacted Syb at the end, but conversation wise, it does feel like the comic would have worked even if someone else was with Syb. I think if there was mention of something only Libby could comment on (like her past incident?), that would have been a quick fix!

That being said though, I think the balance of how much screentime each characters was itself was good! That served as a really good introduction to Syb in this universe and we can't wait to see more!

Excuse me, child safety services, are you there??

Jokes aside, that was a really good comic! The build-up and conclusions were done well, giving us a well crafted story which depicted both characters well. Visually, I love how you used colors and the mix of screentone and color gave it a good American comic vibe, which fits the vibe of the OCT really nicely!

That being said, sometimes the screentone felt a little too heavy, mainly when they were black on the colored characters - a nitpick just because I thought it was a waste that it hid the details of the nice art! The only other thing is, personally, it would have been interesting seeing a few more expression shots of Syb as well. I think seeing her emotion at the core parts (like P4 & 5) would have added to the devastation at the ending where she chooses the 'popular friends' rather than Libby.

. . . That being said, I already found the ending super sad, so I don't know why I am trying to help you make it worse. Now review done, I go back to talking to child safety services. . .

The photobashing and what I assume to be work you've done with models for the backgrounds have def made your comics look prettier. I think you gotta watch out for some of that still, I could be wrong but I do believe the class room on panel 1 is weirdly stretched to fit the panel. I'd watch out for that cause it was the very first thing I saw in the comic and it did throw me off a bit. I've also thought about this a lot and have looked through a few of your older comics. You have a lot of text, they very very text heavy comics which is fine but you need to focus a bit more on its presentation because of how text heavy it is. There's a few missing words and some grammar issues which coudve been fixed but I think what will help your comics even more is if you make your text 1 or 2 sizes smaller so the words arent as big and bold as everything else and if you focus on your bubbling. You should leave some space around the bubble as to not have dialogue directly or too closely on the bubble. you have it happen alot where it either is too close or is directly touching and this makes it much harder to read. If you do these little changes your comics will get that little extra boost. But this is also a fun comic, you did a hell of a lot for only 7 days. Congrats!

God what a pathetic fucking loser. That is to say, I love them. This is fucking great. You could not tell me you're deep in the burn out with this comic I wouldnt believe you. I can't believe you were able to get colour like. you use it very smartly. Only colouring the characters and then having the screen tones for some of the backgrounds and side characters with some slight value work. It works very well. I love the look of it. I do think it would benefit you to use a slightly smaller screen tone. the smaller panels or when you have smaller charactesrs or action can get very cluttered. Big example of it is on page 1, when you do larger panels or characters are bigger the size you use works very well its just when you get in teeny tiny does it hurt those parts. But like this comic is fantastically drawn and coloured, this is just a minor inconvenience for me. Writing wise, homerun. Libby is fucking great, I love the character interaction you got in here, I hate how fucking pathetic she is but thats all the joy of it. I would crush her to death with a giant rock. Fucking stellar comic Doe!

BIG sucker for puns - each one got a guffaw out of me on both read-throughs.

Your environments are lovely, the level of physical detail and the attention paid to the lighting give the quieter scenes tremendous depth. I enjoyed how this contrasts with the masking and omission of backgrounds in the action scenes, really heightening the energy thereof.

With as detailed as your environments are, I also appreciate the judicious use of color for just the key background details and the main two OCs. Everything about the comic is lively to begin with, so saving color for the two of them goes along way in heightening the parsability of the pages, and drawing attention to them.

I like that the comic takes time to show off Libby's skills and shortcomings in equal measure here. She's clearly got competencies, but there's some juicy traumas there for her to work past, promising some fun development if she gets further rounds.

Thanks, as ever, for sharing ;)

REALLY intriguing setup here - I applaud the ambition to promise something of a mystery in the potential rounds to come. Defeating your opponent by having them fade out of your own character's memory is a really cool choice. There's a lot of playing around with time and location all throughout the comic, and I think it's a fun storytelling choice you should def continue to explore!

Visually, I'm enjoying the variation in subject matter from panel to panel. The jumping from locale to locale helps a lot here, but you make some great visual choices to supplement this, like the range of distances on pages 1 and 4, the environment shots on page 3 (great use of photos and filters, from what I can tell?), and the disparate focuses on page 6 that come together to make a very lonely portrait of Sybil's current state/position.

Memorable (if you'll forgive the little joke) opening to the tournament!

You're always extremely daring with what you work on. I really like the photo-bashing you attempted, it's a great way to forward your skill. However, the resizing of characters to fit the panel is not a good look. It just makes it look really rough. In terms of your story you need to get someone to help proofread for you. There's a lot of spelling, grammatical, and layout issues with your word bubbles and it gets to the point where it's going to hurt your general story read. I have an okay sense about what the story you're telling is, but it is a little confusing as well. It also doesn't help that your word bubble layout is both too large and the font is too large. You should try to spend time next comic to decide and layout your writing ahead of time instead of doing it afterwards, because this isn't doing you any favors.
This was a good story though! Very intriguing and I hope you don't drop this memory loss aspect that's plaguing Sybil! It's quite interesting! Good work!

Fantastic. Very gorgeous storytelling and very gorgeous looking art. The choice of tones is so nice and you use them so well. I am hooked instantly on her adventure so far. If there's anything I can say with regards to criticism - the backgrounds on the fight was a bit boring with the beige coloration. I wish you had utilized more colors or mood lighting to carry the fight around. While that part was unfinished, you put in a lot of love around it and that carried it super well. You did such an amazing job with this and I can't wait to see more. Terrific work!

Xeno this is a really different approach than what I normally see from you! I think it was a really good experiment.
Your paneling is a little different than normal, and I remember you talking about this comic not having an action scene as opposed to what you normally do and I think you did a nice job with that in trying something different!

The critique that comes to mind is some of the text is worded a little bit wonky or some grammar errors, and the text bubbles kind of dominate the page a bit.

But I think this was a good change of pace for you and I think you did a nice job with the week long deadline! Good job dude!

oooh my heart! oh sweet libby.

This is such a lovely comic, Im just blown away what you were able to do in just a week. Really solid story, I think you used your opponent's character really effectively. Showed both Sybil and Libbys personalities well and their interaction together. I liked the action paneling a lot, very slick.
Very minor, I really like the half tone effect, but I think it's a tad overpowering, I think maybe a slightly lower opacity so it doesnt drown out some of the other details you have going on. again, very minor in the grand scheme.

Well done Dude, what a solid comic!! LIBBY <3

I see some experimenting with photobashing and I would say keep it up, expand your toolkit! I was really excited to see some cool yoyo-ing and there are moments in the comic where I got excited, some nice drawings of hand poses, interesting compositions etc., but then the talking just kind of continued and continued, and before long it was over; I think a yoyo ability primed me for a different kind of story than was delivered, and the lettering needed a bit more care (some spelling/grammar errors here and there), I can understand if these were issues from it being a speed battle, and I hope you keep pushing yourself with hard challenges like these to keep improving your craft.

Last time I reviewed you I had said you are so strong a comicker that I didn't have anything else I felt I could share to help you, but then you go and surprise me once again by trying something new here with the toning! Something new to assess! I could tell page 4 almost got away from you with the deadline, I imagine if you could you'd have made the battle longer. Returning to the toning, I think where you're getting at is the right direction, but I think there are some places here and there where it gets a little muddy. If you take this to future comics I'd consider trying a softer opacity especially around faces and smaller details so they don't get lost in dots. That said I'm happy to see you continuing to experiment and push yourself into tougher challenges!

I see you're experimenting with thicker lines- please keep this up! The panels where you use them really make your inkwork stand out amongst your grayscales, which I think is a good dynamic balance. I'd also note not to be afraid of your spot blacks. I see them here and there, but considering your style, I would lean into using that negative space to make what you want front and center get the spotlight. The work with the photobashing is SO fun to see in here when it comes to your establishing shots. Lots of experimentation going on here that's really fun to see. I certainly hope you keep it up! :D

These pages were entirely fun to pore over. From the colors, to the textures and expressions- you're clearly comfy and in you element telling this story and it shows! It's also great to see some dynamic angles to make panels where characters are just standing around much more interesting to look at. To say nothing of the design work for the environment. I like the silhouette mural in the auditorium wall. This felt like a classic school days tale, which is not only utterly charming, but a great introduction to such an unexpected student hero. Can't wait to see more!