Oculama

Satraxia boob panel on page 1 NICE. Very well done comic. Clean and precise like you always do. You got some very nice background gags to go along with the more serious dialogue from Saiko. Very interesting to see how it's affected her a lot more than it's hit Sizar, but i guess he's just chill like that. Your backgrounds are a little bare. It's fine normally but there are a few insances in which it really stands out and you notice how much empty space there is. For example top of page 2 and first panel on page 6. You have a little gradient on page 1 for the sky which if you added that to the walls of the cafeteria would have fixed my issues with that. But you still have a very nice very funny comic. Great job!

I don't know why but something about this comic but it's got such a BL feel to it, I dont know why but I look at how big Sizar is and how triangular he is and it sets the idea off LOL. I think there's a lot of white in this comic its mainly your sky with combination of Saiko and Sizar. If you had changed your sky to a different shade it would have given a bit more contrast to the comic and would look better. But you did really well with the art. It's a very pretty comic and I very much enjoy the limited colour palette that you got going on. Very close match between the two of yall excited to see who wins this. Great job yall!

Go llamas go! Go Sizar and Saiko go!

It was really nice learning about the two's backstory a bit more, as well as a friendly interaction with a fellow student. I really do love how expressively you draw everyone - it makes reading the whole comic very fun! Even the characters in the background were entertaining, with their own little expressions and actions.

A tiny thing, but I did get slightly confused in the first page, as a flashback does start without an explanation. I think it could have benefitted from a bit more visual clarity in terms of it being a flashback - say perhaps making the outside black/gray or giving them gray overtones?

That being said though, I do like how you use colors in the comic (with the background colors changing sometimes to give nice tone indications), so it is a minor thing. Overall, I enjoyed the comic very much and can't wait to see where things go! (Evil plans omg)

Beautiful friendship is blooming, I can feel it in my bones (hahah)

I really do love the way you use colors in your comics - having Saiko and Sizar's main colors colored in gave the comic a nice visual touch, as well as made it easy to spot them! Like in the first round, I also enjoyed reading the signs as well - I think it does show care in comics when even small things like that are detailed or thought out.

I did also like the set up and resolution in the story, where the heroes having 'niches' was written nicely! However, having said that, I think it might have been fun seeing it visually - like seeing Sizar break his arm or seeing Elar fix it instead of it just being announced?

BUT with the page limit, I fully understand adding a scene would be difficult, and I think your comics already manage to pack in a lot of good story-telling in them already, despite the limit! What an entertaining, good round again!

Really love seeing the rebellious nature of these two explained. The way they're both tied in is really well done and I'm a fan. Artistically speaking, your major pain point is the speech bubbles. I would take the time to study a bit to determine stronger places to drop your bubbles, since there's a lot of stronger spots for them. Outside of that - I think some textures would help you gain some depth with your style. All in all, this was a good comic. I want to see more of these two! Good work!

The intro comic you gave really provides a good look into Jeremy's mentality, which helps illustrate this round a lot better - including his agreeable, friendly attitude! I quite like how that characterization continues on. I think I'd like to see some more conflict, even if it was internal. I would also say, while that opening shot looks nice, the texture of the brick ground throws it all off since it's not aligned with your perspective. Be careful with that! This was a great comic otherwise! Hopefully next time, you'll be able to fully finish. Good work!

I really am enjoying the twins, I like how you have set them up and their struggle in finding their own identity away from their mom. Especially Saiko's.
The low stakes plot of this comic was neat and I think their interaction with Elar's power to make saiko laugh was a fun twist.

One thing to maybe consider in future comics is maybe placement of your word balloons, not just in the composition in the panels, but helping elevate how they character is speaking. Like example, last panel page 4, splitting up Saiko's dialogue into two balloons to help with how it flows as she is speaking and also balances out the panel composition. It also helps making it easier to read.

Otherwise awesome job, I am also curious to see what you are setting up with that final page!

I really like how you set up this comic. The physical test angle was a really neat way to go into Elar's back story and I like the dynamic you set up with him and the twins.
I also enjoy the way you designed and portrayed the twins in this comic, its a good look for those two.

I would have liked to see the one panel on page 5 finished up to just tighten everything up, but other wise very solid comic!

I really love the story you have going on here. It's entertaining, with some drama on the side that is really compelling (the relationship between Sizar, Saiko and Satraxia is very interesting and Satraxia's absence left an impact in their lives that both dealt with in different ways--- Sizar internalizes it while Saiko externalizes).
I think my big issue is that your page compositions don't really do that story justice; there's some emotional moments that feel like they pass by really quickly because of how small the panels are. The biggest example of this being page 5, where Sizar and Saiko are talking about their mother and why they ended up in the school in the first place. I feel like the moment where Saiko says "Yeah... She really did mess us up, huh?" would've had more impact if it was a wider panel that makes your eyes sit on it longer. And then have the follow-up panels underneath be the ones where Sizar looks sad then whispers to Jeremy. Have that page end with Saiko taking a sip of her drink as Sizar says "Hey Saiko" and then show the mogging joke next page. You had a lot of space there that could've been used; I know you said you were lacking pages, but you can put plenty of dialogue and actions in one panel if you lay things out juuuust right.

ooooooh it's partially colored now :D Pretty cool. I think you have a good grasp on how to draw characters, but your backgrounds are kinda struggling to match up to that quality. The perspective is a bit wonky and all those tiny details like the bricks and such in page 1 clump up to create visual glitches. I think you would benefit from doing some perspective studies and using a perspective ruler for your backgrounds (since I know you use clip studio paint). Generally the horizon line shouldn't be that high up unless the characters reflect that perspective (in page 1, panel 3 and 4, we should've been able to see some of the top of the characters' heads.).

I also think that some of your speech bubbles kinda mislead the eye into reading a certain way; For future reference, we usually read left to right, with the upper speech bubbles going first, then the lower ones.
Page 4 panel 6 is a bit hard to read because my eyes naturally went from "uh. huh? What, you want to be a villain?" to the "but..." speech bubble. I think if you had pushed Jeremy's speech bubble to the other side, and have the speech bubbles play out in a up-to-down zig-zag pattern, it would've been more readable.

Plus, that last speech bubble (the multi.colored one) in panel 6 was too close to the bottom, and it kinda lead me to Sizar's last speech bubble in the last panel since it's so close to the panel border.

Aside from that (and the unfinished panel in page 5), it was pretty cool! Jeremy is such a wonderful character to me haha, and you characterized Sizar and Saiko in a way that they seem like they're different people, while still being very close. I wish Elar the best (please stop breaking your bones bro).

It's great to get a bit of backstory as to the grim origins of this sibling pair and their dynamic before coming to the academy. I wonder if things affecting one sibling more than the other is an effort on Saiko's part to defend poor Sizar from the worst of it. Kind of like a reverse Nebula and Gamorra: Sometimes you gotta let your sibling win to get through the worst of it.
I think it'd be really easy to get into the pathos and tragedy of it all when it comes to this foray into the past, and honestly, that's ok! But it wouldnt be a footini comic without your injection of trademark humor. I see you having Sizar's tail flexing alongside the bicep. That is really cute XD I also like that Elar wasnt exempt as he is rather funny in their own right- love a bone mogg. Also spooky hook at the end? Color me intrigued

Love your stylization of your opponents. There's a great dynamic difference you managed to infuse. Lovely story of shapes with Sizar out here shaped like a triangle XD I like that Elar played the mediator and everyman for your bombastic opponents. Its lovely to see his expertise in bones and his ability taking center stage. They exude such an easygoing countenance. You know, even thought it appears the deadline got the best of you, this round 2 is really solid! You focused in on ensuring the events and action was rendered and distinct enough to follow. The pages that are more complete and polished do have a stylized background which is totally fine but you have such a great handle on characterization and life- I wouldve loved to have seen much of the same in your backgrounds.
Also I'll be curious ot see what others think of this second round. I get such easy 2000's YA manga vibes from this, which is a lovely nostalgia bomb.

I can't help but feel extra invested in these two because of the added layer of history with Satraxia. And it's an entertaining touch to have their version of rebelling against their tyrannical mother be to become goody two-shoes in spite of her. The character writing is really strong in general, though I think Jeremy's role in the comic felt a little lacking, like he could have been swapped with other characters without much change (but the bone mogging gag was great all the same). This was at a nice pace, had some good humor, character moments and intrigue, just all around solid middle round comic.

Shame that you couldn't finish the comic 100% but good on you for getting more of it feeling complete! This one also has a slower slice of lifey pace with low stakes but nice moments between the characters. I think the thing holding it back for me is actually our protagonist Jeremy. For me, he feels a little on the passive side more ways than one. I get why he's just going through the motions of this exam given what he actually wants to do, but his passiveness also makes me feel less inclined to feel much passion *for* him and his situation. He hasn't been placed in any kinds of scenarios that really challenge him or his position yet, he hasn't been forced to confront his lack of drive in any strong dramatic sense. He hasn't been forced to use his bone-turning abilities in any visually fantastical ways too which really bums me, cause I was so ready to see all kinds of wild and grotesque and awesome bone-twisting looks throughout his adventures, and that hasn't happened much yet outside of sound effects. I really would like to see something more dramatic out of his future stories, I want to see him have to actually fight for something, anything, for his own.

heckin yea backstory lore! glad to see Satraxia was in fact as predicted about that highlander life for her kids lol. Great entry for learning more about how the twins ended up at the school and them choosing to be good guys out of spite makes sense due to the explained context and does make me like them more than I already did. Though I do think in this case Elar may have suffered a bit due to kinda being a device more so to explain the twins ideology and less so what's going on with him though he is pretty chill vibes guy so it still works

I really like elar the more I learn about him and I also love that you are really driving home the test feels with the that/report cards/details board in each comic. this one felt a bit spartan in some parts for background but that didnt really affect the overall strength of the comic as it was more so about showing your special in your own way and not just power and speed makes you a hero so I really liked that angle your going with and want to see more!