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I had to squint a bit at the art work due to the stark black and white but the inkwork was enough to soothe me into the experience. The facial expressions were wonderfully used to paint this awkward situation and Im buying it right away fast enough to enjoy the story and sequence of events to follow. This maybe your first foray into OCT but these sequences are absolutely alive with the kind of mayhem you want to plug in. The plot isn't very ambitious but the build up and escalation uses the comic format very well. There is a sequencing effect that you can only get by doing comics and its enough for me to not have to think about what Im reading. The environments are criminally sparse however and if it wasn't for the refined face shots , a lot of the panels feel ungrounded and light. As advice, I would suggest playing with spot blacks and diversifying your panel compositions. (Rule of 3s, line of action, etc.) However, this was not enough to get in the way of the writing but not enough to absolutely contribute to the completeness of the work.
I echo what others say in that this gave me a good laugh because of the comboing effect of the jokes. And it definitely looked like you had fun with this ! Thanks for the comic !
The best part about this battle was I didn't know who owned which character in their respective comics. That said I got to see this fight based on its depiction of events in this comic 2 stylish murder gremlins try to pull through on an assassination. We don't know only that they do these things. Claymore is the character introduced as we see that they have some grasp of the situation and is nice about it. That's more or less the plot and it's enough for a 5 page inaugural ! The execution is stylish and the colors land but some don't stick. The colors in page 1 and 3 doesnt seem to harmonize with 2 which seems to have a clearer pallet than the former. When you use bright colors like these it tends to tint the tone and mood of the scene and if the change is sudden it creates an expectation that the mood also changes. When colors are used to depict reality on a whim it creates this chaos that doesn't make sense for something that is cartooned. My advice ? limit the color pallet used and build up from a core set. It is otherwise nice to see but their relationship with other pages are compromised as a result. The story carried itself well for the rest of the read and I had no trouble following the plot. You pushed to cap and didn't let up. Thanks !
I've said it once and I'll say it again - I LOVE a good wordplay, doubly so when it's used as a killing blow. This is a fun exchange, and feels true to both your characters and your opponent's. I especially like how colorful your world is. The hues feel a little arbitrary at times, but I feel like that's more a strength than anything, as it fits the chaos of these junction mash-up worlds. I think the storytelling here could be compressed a *little* to maximize the flow of reading, but you can honestly take that or leave it, because what you've got here works regardless of length.
I'm REALLY digging your style. Gruesome, but not in-your-face about it. Funny, but in a sort of unsettling way. You make the brothers feel like real menaces, which makes it all the more impressive how authentically funny they are as bumbling/thwarted assassins. I'm not 100% convinced by the ending with the bomb pie to wrap it all up; it's a potentially very funny finish, but the way it's executed here feels...a bit too pat? It's the characters throwing their hands up int he air, sure, but it almost feels like the author did as well. It's a very clever comic, and I think there's a clever-er ending to be had. Regardless, this is a terrific piece, memorable even among the impressive crop in this first round, and a win in my book.
Going to start by saying how great the first page is. I love the way you designed the building, the shots you chose, how prominent the 'Gun Safety' bit is (enough that I didn't even need the re hash of it on the last page), and most of all this establishment of slang for Junction. I'm marking that down! I really enjoy the colours of the sky in the first page too as compared to the rest of the comic. On the later pages you up the saturation to a more intense level and while the scheme still looks good, I think it could probably be toned down a notch. Special mention for the standout second page, it's great with it's limited palette and the way it leads your eyes.
Story-wise a great little punny plot. The way you both had the same idea in terms of the Brothers fumbling through a dastardly plan, and Claymore's confused demeanour thwarting them, yet the plots differing in the tone you wish to set for your own characters is very neat. I can't wait to see more of Claymore exploring Junction and acclimating!
A lark, a howl, and a giggle! I had a great laugh reading through this, the "WHAT!" panel had me burst out. The way Claymore is just a complete out of place oddball that is completely accepted by everyone else around as normal is also comedy gold. I've seen you talk about this in chats already but it is worth mentioning that you could use some more solid blacks. Your hatching is top notch however you have a great sense for where to use it and getting good values with it. Perhaps even using a single halftone could also help negate some of the hatching work. Your panelling was also sized well and had good variation, the only thing that threw me off there was the sniper rifle panel on page 3. Took me out of it for a second because it lines up with the gutters and had me looking for why it was there. Other than that though very entertaining comic!
Mind-blowing colours as always, Luvam! The ramshackle design of Claymore’s flat is so curious and intriguing, and your trademark uses of yellows and oranges help bring out the highlights of every panel. Loved your panel layouts here, and most notably the combination of drawings in page 2. I can”t tell if Claymore is still being nice or giving some sass in the 2nd last panel, but both options are equally funny!
I’m not completely sold on the empty red panel at the beginning of page 3, although I get you’re coveying time passing using it. I want to see more of this fella and your brilliant dialogue writing.
Hilariously morbid! I never expected a scenario like this in a matchup between the Brothers and Claymore, but it’s a plot I loved! Claymore being such a weird little guy is brilliant, my favourite of which is him munching down on the remote spider - your panelwork there really helps sell the joke.
One thing I noticed when reading is that in page 3 Thaimus’s rifle intersects the panel breaks, which might work to show bullet path when it is being fired, but here leads the eye back up to panels which have already been read. Inventive and funny, and makes full use of the ability to apply any setting to your comic!
This is the most wholesome comic I've read about a weird monster person and a pair of murderous skull boys. Claymore immediately endears themselves to me with their "hi I'm new here" energy. The idea that they are just this displaced creature who is enjoying home ownership really appeals to me and I want more Claymore desperately! Additionally, from a technical perspective I love your paneling style, the chute = shoot joke and all of page 2 really worked for me and I'll be using them as reference in the future for sure. Ultimately, I just really like your character and want to see the in more low stakes wacky scenarios.
I think this is honestly the most unique setup out of all the comics I've read. Assassination, ploys and impersonations all jive together to make a very funny set of pages. This comic has the best kind of "Looney Toons Energy" between Claymore drinking cyanide and starting a food fight by mushing a guys head into his food. The only thing I will say is that I would have liked more of the brothers. You do such a great job showing your opponent and focusing on them (which is always great to see in OCT fights) but I would have loved if you had more focus on your own characters. I hope we find out more about them in your future work!
Oh man I love your art! Everything is so cute and colorful and fun to look at! I love how cozy the first two panels are and Page 2 especially is incredibly stylish!
I feel like the chute/shoot joke was a little bit of a stretch, I had to think about it a bit to get it. I still liked the ending and the brothers chilling at the bottom of the shaft though!
I thought the "junc" slang was neat, always cool to see people do some worldbuilding! I thought the interactions between the brothers and Claymore were really fun and you did a great job of giving all of them distinct personalities.
I really like how you draw faces, all the side characters' designs really added to the dinner party. Claymore looks so cute and monstrous at the same time! I really like how you give characters with nonhuman faces so much personality and expression. The shading is also really good and makes everything look really cool.
It's hard to find things I didn't like in this comic, I think the one thing I'd like to see more of is backgrounds? Especially in the pie fight scene.
There's so many funny jokes in this! I love the weird forks, the failed assassinations, and especially the appearance of the real Count at the end. Really good pacing and super clever and creative.
With the dinner party, I really like the setup overall for both Claymore and the brothers. Once again featuring Claymore's wacky antics in a really neat sketchy style that adds touches of realism but not to the point where Claymore seems out of place in this story.
One problem that I can see however is that when it comes to the final page. While the real count claymore coming out only to get pied was kind of funny, I think it didn't have as much setup aside from some dialogue which I admittedly did miss on my first run. The bomb pie is also a bit odd as I'm kind of confused about what happened (Was it a timer? Did they throw it? Did someone else throw it?) I like the nice piece of escalation.
Also, you really make the backgrounds and action work which is something I struggled with by using white space to your benefit. It keeps the more detailed brothers from blending in too much and the foreground and establishing shots keep it from feeling like empty space!
This was a really fun ride both stylistically and from the standpoint of reading through the massive difference in how these characters interact with one another. The second panel was genuinely amazing with how the plan flowed from word to word through the panel breaks and made for a good setup and even better payoff as they couldn't even complete step one.
I do think that one thing to work on is the perspective as things like pages 4 and 5 it can get a little bit wonky, especially since there are times where it seems like the brothers' heads should be tilted upwards as opposed to being in the same place as if they were facing the audience.
However, the stylization of the two makes this much of a lesser issue. I really like how the brothers look in this style and it ends up coming across as them truly fitting and being believable in Claymore's world. The decision to actually keep them somewhat serious helps contrast them in comparison to Claymore's obliviousness!
Oh man. I really enjoyed this comic and that page where they explained what they do felt like the start of a song number in a disney movie. I really loved how you wrote the two arguing and bickering.The dialogue of this is hilarious, and the potrayal of all three charachters is so lighthearted and cute it really made me want to read more of the three of them interacting. Artwise, I dont have much to comment on, your colors are pretty good, you have good expressions and a solid sense for angles and how to leverage the page for things like looking down upon them after the chute. Exellent comic!
Absolutely classical 80's gag comic feeling. I adore these two and their dialogue, each attempt was funnier then the last and the increasing dismay of our two assassins made me chuckle. Your artstyle Is one rarely see these days and it makes me happy to see such use of fine lineart and negative space. It really worked to the strengthen the story, such as the spider being twarted. That sequence was brilliant. The pacing of thise was pretty great and the jokes felt like they all landed very well!
I am very exctied to see more of these two, and I really hope to fight you in some capacity in the future!
LUVAM-
Making up in world slang already? I love 'fresh juncs' XD what a clever idea. Also the design of the building we find Claymore in is fun. Nice to see something ungainly and creative as opposed to just a straight box. Your use of color here is also great. From the early morning brightness of page one to the pinks and blues of a shaded interior for THE PLAN montage.
This was a nice and silly encounter, and claymore is utterly charming being so kind lol! I wasn't sure how your character was going to emote given the design, but after reading your first round I'd encourage you to push it just a bit more! Utilize the mask. manipulate the eyes to emulate brows to raise and furrow.. Things that'll get those facial cues across I think would really bring home those little comedic moments you put in here. Still all in all great comic
CHAR-
Ooo this sketchy crosshatched style- giving me such oldschool comic vibes! and speaking of old school, the utter Tex Avery hijinks of the Brothers Grimm trying to off the unoffable target due to Claymore's interference was pretty funny. I think the brothers exaggerated reaction has to be the best bit.
You started off with such a great opening panel establishing the dinner party which I wish had been continued in some of your other pages. I wanted to spy the spread- see some fanciful food get spidered or blown apart from a missed shot. Or even gotten details around where the Brothers are hiding out. An opera box? a panel in the ceiling? We lose much of you background elements as we go along (which I'm guessing is due to the deadline).
Still though, this was pretty good and stuff competition! I'm still bandying about how to vote.
Luvam, this comic looks great! The colors and your art style is so cool The first page gave me Borderlands vibes and page 2 reminded me of that game..Monaco I think. I love the predominantly green, yellow, orange color scheme you used. I did miss the "shoot" reference in the manual on the first page so I had to go back to verify how Claymore arrived at the conclusion about the 'chute' lever (might just be a me problem cos sometimes I read things too fast). Overall, I felt like I was watching a cartoon. And tbh, I'd watch a cartoon with the Brothers Grimm and Claymore in a heartbeat. Well done!
I finally got to see Charlemagne in action hehe. Man, the writing on this is stellar. It started as a serious assassination plot in a fancy gathering but the humor quickly peeks its way through and crazy shenanigans ensue! Your art style is unique and the traditional nature of which gave it a personal touch (love the hatching!). I said this on Luvam's side but Claymore and The Brothers really lend themselves into very fun set up that I can easily see in a cartoon or comic series. I am not good at comedy writing so I am super impressed at how you're able to do so with ease. Great job!
I really liked the art here and loved the wacky buildings and jokes here with the word play. I think there were very few things that didnt land with me I think the one aspect that got me the most was the part where they were trying to get into the building Im not really sure where they were in respect to the building or what Claymore heard them above him and came out a door to their side, I also first thought his jacket was actually a pillow he was handing them, over all minor gripes it was all and all really good and fun!
I really enjoyed the jokes in this comic it got a good chuckle out of me personally I really enjoy the take on Claymore just being a weirdo at this dinner party though I am not sure I fully understand the set up for the joke of Claymore sitting in for someone else who just shows up at the end and acts like they've been watching it all the entire time was a bit confusing, but overall the joke of claymore getting in the way was good and the art really made the absurdity of the jokes that much more fun!
First off, I love this style! Fantastic color and and rich in detail. Second, you back it up with a good story told creatively. Excellent paneling and composition, and every character has time to shine. All of your jokes land! You've captured your opponents perfectly, and everyone here is fun to watch. Great work on this, looking forward to seeing more.
Not too much in the way of criticism here. There are a few moments where I lose track of the geometry of the scene. At least one instance where the text bubble layout is a bit confusing. Otherwise really solid job here.
Hand drawn!?! Amazing. This is a really tough round to judge. Much like your opponent I think you nail the humor and characterization of our actors. This is a classic slapstick setup done to perfection. I love how expressive everyone is, even the side characters. The brothers perfectly fill the role of hapless schemers, and Claymore is great as the clueless savant. Awesome stuff.
I'd love to see some more saturated blacks here. Even going in digitally to really nail those fills would be a great effect. Otherwise I don't have much more to poke at, this is one of my favorites of the round!
This art just on the first page is like woosh sparkle pop yknow? I really appreciate the humor in this comic and the chekhov's gun that was placed on the table in the first panel. The design of the second page is really something special with a like cowboy bebop tank opening kind of a bumbumbumbumbadudum feel to it, like you can hear the bass line coming off of the page. The writing just like zhoops at you in it's fast and witty nature, accompanied by the art that's like pow zip wham bap with it's detailed simplicity and style.
This whole comic feels good, it smells good, it even tastes good. The art feels like I'm watchiing the movie Heavy Metal and it really like greebles out of the page at me with it's insidious mandibles and I love that about it. The amount of story told in five panels really hits hard and cosntantly delivers it's humor to great effect. It has that certain je ne sais quoi factor to it that's like weewoo beedeebeep in a good way. Every panel feels alive and it vibrates like a radio tower if you get what I'm saying. The oomph of every page in reaction shots and detailed backgrounds just like melts my face off like I'm staring at the window of a macrowave (a laser microwave).
Rivana
“The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry.” seems to be the theme on both sides haha
I enjoyed both of your comics very much!
Comment posted: August 14th, 2022 at 5:47 PM
Monday
This was hillarious. Thank you folks.
Comment posted: August 8th, 2022 at 10:31 PM
Luvam
I LOVE THE CONTEXT YOU MADE SO MUCH. And the whole plot is hilarious, amazing job!
Plus, seriously love how you’ve drawn and characterised Claymore :D
Comment posted: August 8th, 2022 at 9:19 AM
PaperSalesman
Both delightful, but Charlemagne’s made me laugh out loud.
Comment posted: August 8th, 2022 at 9:00 AM
Piñata
I really love this match up and the look of Claymore. Excited to read this one!
Comment posted: August 8th, 2022 at 1:52 AM
Charlemagne
Fantastic, stylish comic. Love how you characterized the Brothers Grimm, and showcased their roles.
In all honesty, I had not tested out those colors in a drawing, I was just imagining what they'd look like on the characters. Kind of proud of myself they turned out so well.
Comment posted: August 8th, 2022 at 12:31 AM