Oculama

You had me at the banner art. GADS these two characters color schemes work so well together! That aqua and magenta are fire!

It is SO OBVIOUS you had fun with your opponents character. That opening page is so impactful by way of quality, line work and setting the tone going forward. you did an equally stellar job giving us a peek at an alien world and people- the pink cyclops against their green color scheme really popped. Your spot blacks come in when they need to and make for nice striking graphics when you don't need to go into detail like panel two on page two. Lu's silhouette works so much better than going in and drawing her really small.

Also what a story! Setting Deimacus up to not be a battle axe of a ruler, but one that drips poison and manipulates through others was a clever move. an ominous end with those three golden circlets between Deimacus hands that definitely gave me the chills. I really have no notes, this was so well executed.

"It's not kingly to say swear words" has gotta be the cutest thing, I stg... xD

I was already charmed by this Deimacus' design, but being able to see them in their universe with other fellow creatures like the major domo and soldiers just affords such a great peek at the world you've created for this character. The Fancy filigree on the advisors eyebrow and mustache to the guards blocky heads. Way to paint us such an alien picture. We love to see it.

If I had a note, I'd be sure you give your dialogue a couple proofreads. You have a bit of typos here and there that're easy fixes!

I'm still not sure if Deimacus is an incompetent ruler or just frivolous (or a third option?) based off how this comic ends, but I'm kinda into the mystery! Like, the characters and the reader don't really know where Deimacus stands and I'm into it. Definitely intrigued to learn more and find out.

Hooboy King Deimacus is a SOLID character no matter the multiverse and this comic is a great entry for adding their set of drapes to Junction. The imperious tone of this comic is nuanced by the fact that the King himself is an easily bored and detached figure who is so above everything that their priorities are hilariously skewed.

This is further reinforced by their run in with Lu who confronts him on a child's word. The art is loose but not tight where it would do the most good, like the Arch Panels on page 1 would have been a great way to have the same art but tighter borders. The compositions and the gesture work on the other hand are great and they tell the story well with page 3 really selling Deimacus as a Threat that has never taken Lu seriously even though she's pasting all his mobs.

Overall this was good comedic timings, an interesting character reveal, Great Concepts, with good sketchy art done under the 1 week timer. See you on the field, King >:E

Yoooooooooo This comic Was Colored ? And Tightly Designed ? With Flowing Color Schemes ? This is a strong comic ! The storytelling represented the kind of tone and hard won wisdom that a Multiverse ruler would have. We don't know who the Kuesh are, we dont /care/ who the Kuesh are but as a catalyst to the king's meeting with Lu they demonstrate the kind of world and dynamic that Deimacus operates under. Like This is a Lu comic ?
But this is absolutely also a character study of your opponent and I'm at odds trying to figure out which version of This Cool Awesome Character I like and the best part is: They both feel like they Land. And by proxy, LU has been made even more enigmatic, storied, and powerful and they didn't even show up for more than a page ! And the final twist ?

Actually the final twist took me two reads for me to get it. Yeah that kinda happens when major plot points are carried completely on word of narration. Which, again, was appropriate for this kind of story.

The art was pushing numbers here, the writing- Vehicular. And in the end I get to see my favorite character humble my favorite character.

I can’t get enough of Deimacus’s personality in this comic! I always love proud weirdos like him! It’s very fun to see him take on Lu exclusively to get out of royal duties. I’m a big fan of your colour work and shot composition for all of page 3 - all the panels where you apply full lighting look marvelous as well. Deimacus discovering business cards is a brilliant ending, greatly improved by Lu’s reaction image at the end.
As the comic progresses some of your linework becomes quite loose and sketchy, which slightly undercuts some shots like your final panel. I’m a big fan of this royal doofus.

Immediately, your first page has an incredible impact to it. Your lighting and linework makes Deimacus look
like such a freak, and I am all here for it. Depicting your comic with your opponent winning is always a surprise to see, and the monologue you wrote for Deimacus portrays him in an incredibly intimidating and eery light. Your colour work throughout is unbelievable for a time span of only a week, and I’m very surprised with how evocative you made a mask. I enjoyed the circle back to the dukes’ headbands, as it makes you read through the comic a second rime after understanding its outcome. An absolutely fabulous work!

The one thing that stuck out to me about this comic is that the page compositions were in general really great! Read as a whole they have a great sense of harmony, and feel intentional and balanced. The overall pacing and rhythm of the comic felt good too- the page turns were great! You have an excellent instinct for setting things up in the last panel, and then having a satisfying reveal in the next. One thing that I think that would help a lot is investing more in making the space the comic takes place in more clear. You have some basic establishing shots, but I think going the extra mile to elaborate the space and make it clearer where everyone is in relationship to each other would go a long ways towards making the choreography more compelling. Great work!

An ambitious comic! Bravo for the scope and scale- I'm a sucker for narration in general, and I think it's a great way to compress storytelling into a small space. The art is gorgeous- the coloring especially, but also the inking. It's a really distinctive and satisfying style. The writing was pretty good! Something about it left me wanting something- I think maybe it's I wanted a little more flavor... The names and setting implied this kind of entire new world of fantastical politics and cultural rivalries, so I think maybe I wanted more of that flavor! More suggestions and enigmatic, offhand mentions that make this world feel more real and tangible. I also think that you could push your 'camera angles' a little harder- all your shots were straight on, and I think turning things a little bit could add some depth that would make your already excellent art even more compelling. A beautiful comic!

I'm getting big Araki energy from this! I love how the personalities for each character shine through. Deimacus I and their council are wonderfully weird, and Lu fills the role of the straightforward badass perfectly. The setup and eventual punchline work well and got a laugh out of me.

I think this comic suffers from some inconsistent quality throughout. Some panels look fantastic, with great linework and coloring (like bottom of page 2 is the standout for me), but many others feel a bit half-baked to me. It's nothing that detracts from readability, but it seems like there's a ton of potential richness in the setting and atmosphere that aren't sold as much as they could be.

This is another close matchup for me to judge. You have some absolutely stunning linework and coloring going on here. Having the conflict play out like a parable as the King recounts the story as a lesson is a great idea. Really great attention to detail throughout -- even your text bubbles are remarkably perfect. Inconspicuous in the right ways!

I do feel Lu lacks agency in this story. Another page showing how they continued to fight the good fight despite the propaganda, or one showing how they dealt with the aftermath, would close the loop here. Fantastic stuff overall! Looking forward to seeing more.

The Null King is indeed not like every 'villain'. I am instantly a fan. Page 3's last big panel has got to be my fave. I love how imposing he looked there (as well as the last panel in page 4 but with ominous lighting). Lu is also just as impressive not just through her fighting prowess but also her resolve. I gotta tell you how I audibly said 'WHAT?!' when Null King said "Business Cards" hahaha. On the second read through, I then saw it: Lu showed her business card at the beginning of the comic. I thought that was a pretty cool cos that seemed inconsequential at the beginning. I love it!

Another gorgeous work from you Camel. I love the way you ink. It has a style that is immediately recognizable coupled with your vibrant colors. Together, they command attention. The lighting in that first page is so gorgeous. The reflected green light really added to the ominous/villainous nature of the Null King. Just [chef's kiss]. The writing is also stellar and the ending truly unexpected. I remember mentioning in Lu's intro about challenges that she may encounter (or something to that effect), it's so... sobering to see that here. Heroism is not all they make out to be in most comics and TV shows. Sometimes it becomes a thankless job as people's minds can be fickle and their loyalties change. I love the reality check! Gosh, I need to know how Lu's gonna move on from here!

Some terrific character definition done here; this is one of the best comics I've read so far for the first round re: how quickly, efficiently, and entertainingly the respective characters are established as people. Kudos to your writing on that front. Still, I feel the resolution of the conflict falls just a hair short of satisfying. Between the quick pacification of Lu, her somewhat awkward final line against the king (I'm on the fence with how much sense it makes for her to assume the king is about to change his ways), and the abrupt joke at the end (which I like in concept, but I'm not sure lands as gracefully as it could have given the content that precedes it), I feel like I'm missing one more morsel to make the ending feel truly tidy. This is still, however, a tremendous comic, and the overall solid story is lent a lot of life by your artwork, which retains a lot of the liveliness that is often lost in the inking process.

I'm not sure what to start with here. I LOVE the story. The darkness of it, the clever, shameless ruthlessness of the King. The little visual treats (the dukes' crowns in the beginning, the king's hands around them at the end). Your art is very slick as well, and I love the colors you've picked out to illustrate the king as he addresses the reader. (He's CREEPY and INTIMIDATING in all the best ways). My comments are mostly of a possible improvement nature. As good and compact as this is, I think I could have stood to see an additional page dedicated to showing more of the people turning against Lu, as that feels like the critical narrative gut-stab. I also would have loved to see something done with the negative space, especially at the end. As good as the story is, it feels a disservice to leave it with such large empty white margins. But in the final analysis, forget these nitpicks. THIS is a story I'll be thinking about long after this round has ended.

What a fantastic goddamn comic. The writing of this is absolutely killer. The pacing is so good, the story flows so rapidly nad covers such an impressive amount of events and development within only 5 pages. It's absolutely bonkers. You really brought it, and managed to perfectly paint such a villain in the king with his underhanded, sneaky methodology. The arts crisp, I really love the stark colors, the simple but deep shadows your relatively sparse use of solid black lends to the palette. I really enjoy the use way you do expressons and the way your colors while simple in palette, are exellent in tone, really complimenting said expressions.

Excellent stuff!

Great comic. The posing in this is inspiring, the angels are dynamic and you really made it a fun read. The way the king just strode forward as the explosion went off behind him? Classic stuff. I really enjoyed the writing, with its serious and grandiose build only for there to be a sudden joke in there, with the facial expression of our beaten hero showing us just how absurd such actions are. I think my only critique is one I to need to consider. You might want to run your dialogue trough somebody else, because I did spot some spelling mistakes. But nothing to big.

Fantastic work.

The composition and the movement here are really great, characters are clearly defined and the action reads cleanly with a nice back and forth rhythm. Some things I noticed are on Page 3, Panel 2 Lu's stance could contrast with the orderly firing line, especially with the force she's throwing out she's a little stiff; while Page 5 could benefit from some darker values put on background elements to add depth, notably the first panel is missing Lu's shadow on the ground (and in general shadows could be more solid while still having hatched edges) Additionally, the linework/form of the kid accompanying Lu can be a bit overly rough in some panels. I'm a fan of those closeups and big shaded full-body flowing shots of characters that really flex your construction, and I appreciate the tilt Deimacus is always drawn in to add to the depth of the scene. Also, Deimacus being impatient at meetings was something I was not expecting given their commanding stature but is really funny, and their takeaway being "business cards to rule junction" is great, makes me excited to see what their antics to conquer Junction will be.

Immediately your solid lighting and shadows absolutely leap from the page with that intimidating opening shot of the Deimacus, like I just picked up a professional comic at the store (additionally, the character design reminds me somewhat of Evan Dahm's works). The simple color backgrounds complement your shading style, though a few of the emptier panels could have an extra oomph with background elements to bolster the perspective (Page 2 Panel 1 & 5, and Page 3 Panel 6 primarily). Your writing here really shines in the pacing, every beat of narration hits perfectly with its connected imagery and not a piece of space feels wasted, not to mention the characterization of King vs Hero making this matchup a perfect fit.

I love King Deimacus. I love his aesthetic, his whole court, oh my god it's all so cool! Master of Ceremonies especially, wow. Your layouts and compositions are so cool, even the panels that are just talking heads feel dynamic. I LOVE the layout of page one, with the door framing Lu and the kid. That panel of the King on page 3, just casually floating in with the power surging around him is so cool! I love the way his laser magic lights up his mask when he shoots it! The writing is so good too, your dialogue is well done and so smooth, and I just love the punchline at the end. I'm so excited to read more!

Oh my godddddd wow, great job. Your colors are to DIE for. That first page with King Deimacus is gorgeous. They're all gorgeous! I love how your super saturated colors ironically make the ones that aren't pop more. Your comic looks so complete, it's great to see. It feels like you used the small turnaround to your benefit, the stark lack of backgrounds with the bright colors makes each panel feel kind of.... iconic? Even without in the moment action, each panel feels dynamic. I love the way you wrote this, with Deimacus as narrator, and having Lu be this fabled character we don't really get to spend time with. You did a great job of making the king seem very sinister and powerful (or rather, he did?). Great job, really

A VERY VERY strong opening for your opponent's character with your first page you establish his mannerism/attitude/personality just off of his words and the changes in just one eye! super great. I loved the banter of the two but I was kinda sad the action was kinda of cut short between the two with that initial punch and king walking up to Lu was fantastic and got me very hype but then he kinda just noped her out of the fight, but the dialogue still kept the story strong and I was very delighted by the business card joke lol a great comic! You also did A great job as establishing Lu as the heroine which I really liked her quick boiling down of King Dei as just a tyrant for all his flare.

So you visual art style is very striking and the choice to have King Dei Tell A tale directly to the reader is great it removes the need to too much setup at the beginning that you dispersed throughout the story which is great! I also like that you presented his big ego/flair that I very much love in villains like him. You captured his Villain at rest moment by calmly telling his tale of how he problem solves heroes while also giving a big push to his calculating presence by having him acknowledge that "The hero always wins" is a super big problem for him so he moved straight to the " live long enough to see yourself become the villain" route by corrupting the people around Lu by any means necessary including groveling( I LOVED THAT SOO MUCH!) to get what he wants and then killing them all anyways was great! I am a bit sad though as lu didnt really say anything and It worked from a monologue point of view but I also would have liked them to atleast meet or interact a little. but your writing skill is on stellar display here and I enjoyed every panel and the quality you put into them

Yoo Hisagi you came out the gates swinging! This is such a fun little comic. Your art hits as usual, and you've made such a fun little world of these weird shape men that Deimacus rules over. I love all the little types and how they're easy to figure out in terms of their class or purpose like the square soldier men. Lu and her power also look superb, she really has a sense of power rivalled only by the Null King himself who exerts an eery presence until the end. An End I did NOT see coming and got me good. A classic comic in my eyes I didn't see a joke coming until it had already slapped me. I don't know how to take Deimacus now, as a scary threat or a bit of a goober, either way I love what you've done here!

HELLO. HOW DID YOU DO THIS IN A WEEK. The level of polish you've managed to pull off here with the colours, spot blacks, good lines, varied layouts. I'm in awe! Can't wait to see what you can do given more time. The story also went incredibly hard establishing Deimacus as a solid threat to Junction for the future. A tyrant willing to stoop low and resort to whatever he can to get what he desires. I was expecting a twist at the end but the fact you had Lu lose to make the story really work was a good decision. Can't wait to see more of anything you write!

This is such an excellent introduction to King Deimacus! He's got that scheming villain vibe down to a science. I enjoyed the art style, the muted and limited colour pallet was very complimentary of the rougher line work. Also I noticed how you use colour very effectively in the backgrounds to switch up the emotions and set the scenes. The panel layouts also were very well set and confident, and the let the action flow. I appreciated the direct naming in the dialogue of the two contestants on the second page. Too many 1st comics dont do that and I dont get a concrete idea of who these characters are. So good one! I felt the story was fun and funny, the payoff at the end was well set-up and made me smile. Hard to find things to improve but: The dialogue was a bit long-winded at times, maybe look to say the same thing in fewer words in the future? Otherwise, awesome first comic, very excited for Deimaccus' plots to come to fruition!

Woaaaaaaah. Ok. Woah. This comic has powerful energy. Where to start...the art...right. Gorgeous handling of colour, pallet and line-work. The layouts: extremely well-managed, the flow was unimpeded. the LETTERING: professional, so impressive, it's very inspiring!!! ok...the story. VERY skillful. To have a 1st person narration recounting the events is hard to pull off, but this is a PERFECT execution...yet the actual writing is what sticks with me. You portray Deimacus to have such effortless power, apathetic cruelty and insidious genius... while playing down Lu's presence yet perfectly show what her character was about. What a excellent gift to us readers and a gracious nod to your opponent, yet ferociously competitive entry in the tournament. Fantastic Fantastic Fantastic. Im blown away by this comic.

This comic was great and I really enjoyed the tone of your king and the set up of him being a vain king trying to take over Junction is really fun I love the ending twist and him just bored of all the political drama that is happening around him makes for a very fun character. Im not sure Im the biggest fan of a kid just approaching with Lu and pointing him out like he took his lunch money on the playground it all seemed a bit casual and I wish there was a little more consequence in the end but overall really good!

Over all this is an amazing comic Camel honestly one of your best I have read from you I have nearly no complaints because this comic works so wonderfully to show your opponents character as this force of sheer influence and the way he talks is so impressive in how he sounds intimidating which is so impressive because you show him failing yet you show him as having a plan to deal with everything that is thrown at him in this sortah flashback style I think the only thing I could complain about is I wish to one day see more of your character in a comic.

Great work, Hisagi! The story you went for is fantastic, and it really helps flesh out and characterize Deimacus in a very entertaining manner. It's wonderful seeing how the interactions between Lu and Deimacus are moreso between Lu and Deimacus' workers as he's thinking on an entirely different plane of thought, and I think you've written that very well! The pace you set mostly flows very well, and I like how you showed off Deimacus' values at the very end.

I do really love the punchline with business cards, but I wish it was a bit more clear! It makes sense upon re-reading, but I think if you detailed the card Lu holds in that panel to be more clearly a business card, it might make more sense upon first reading ;;

MAN though, love the action shots throughout this comic!! The expressions you've illustrated with them work fantastically, and I love how well you get Deimacus' emotions across with only one eye. Hope to see more of Deimacus in the future!

Wonderful work, Camel!! I really loved the narrative being told by The Null King and how the circlets at the beginning are used as a wonderful callback/foreshadowing by the end of the comic. The pacing is well done and I'm in love with how you used the same pose and colours for the first and final panel but adjusted the lighting to fit the new malicious and cunning tone we get from Deimacus!

Throughout the comic I really loved your rendering style, and it works very well with your storytelling. However, I would like to see more backgrounds in your comic, as the majority of your panels are quite minimal in giving an establishing locations. Granted, this specific story didn't necessarily require a setting that isn't already described by Deimacus at the start, but it would be nice to see.

The colours throughout the entire comic are used incredibly well and I hope to learn from yours 📝, as the dominant colours on your pages always capture the tone you're striving for very well. Hope to see more of Lu in the future!