Oculama

Really cute comic. There was also some fairly inventive ideas art-wise! I loved that multi-eye view of the fire punch incoming, you really did a great job with that. This had some nice writing and some fun jokes as well. I'm always a fan of your work, especially since you do nice three page joke layups.

Probably the worst aspect artistically speaking is that there's no sense of where our characters are in relation to each other. We just have characters in empty space with no establishing shots or anything else. It wouldn't have been much more complicated to have done a simpler perspective shot to open and help us know where we are - as well as our characters relation to one another out of the gate. You'd be surprised at how little is necessary before we start having the 'punch montage' to help ground the reader. As it is, it makes the action a little shakier.
There's also definitely a missed opportunity for more jokes in the final page - while the punchline is obviously 'girl gets beat up', you could have filled that scribbled part with some more humor.
On the whole though, solid comic. Definitely can't wait to see what you end up doing next. Good work!

That was a daring shot to attempt in the beginning with the top-down angle! Very nice! The main thing that's missing for me with this is some more background work. The thing they have to climb is shown, but it's lacking a sense of scale since we don't see the girls next to it to help establish the struggle ahead of them. While your third page has the action of them racing to it, this would have been a good opportunity to break up the panels and have some more examples of them dodging or moving up it since there's clearly giant saws and other traps and contraptions - those would have been very neat to see some interaction with them. Your joke at the end was really cute and appreciated - however, you should take a little care with your word bubbles, since they're somewhat constricted. This was a good little comic and there's definitely some improvement since the last time your work was seen! Nice work!

Oh, this was a fun round to read!

I really enjoyed all the different perspective/angles drawn in the comic. Also loved how characters moved and change expressions a lot - nice use of ‘show don’t tell’ in terms of showing off characters!

Story wise, I would say was the last twist felt slightly out of left field for me. Because the rules of the round was explained thoroughly at the beginning, the fact that there was another, unspoken rule felt a little sudden. Having a twist at the end is by no means bad, but perhaps having a tiny hint of the last rule existing would have built up things too! (Say, like the narrator saying that all past rules apply this round too, or was cut off mid-explaining, etc.)

That being said though, I do think the fact that the round premise was explained well itself was a good thing! It was an easy to follow, simple objective, just enough to give us a fun round which showcased both character’s abilities very nicely!

Who doesn’t enjoy seeing children getting beat up? (IN FICTION, ONLY IN FICTION)

The tonal shift at the end worked really well comedically and definitely got a chuckle out of me! I think you did a good job in depicting Vangelica’s character as well - since we know her thoughts beforehand, we still end up liking her DESPITE seeing her beat up a child.

And because of the interest in Vangelica, I think it would have been nice if we could have seen her powers a bit more! I don’t think there was a need to depict the whole match, but seeing a snippet of how she could have won the match against a martial arts expert like Charlie would have been interesting. In the same line, perhaps the fighting scene would have benefitted from a few far-off shots as well, so we can understand the environment a bit more.

Overall though, I did enjoy the comic! The closeup shots and expressions were cute, so those definitely had their benefits too. Short but still sweet!

The twist on the uniforms made me laugh, since it's a funny but practical thing for Polaris to enforce, but also Flygirl assuming they were doing the test in Student uniforms and Charlie's reason for registering her normal clothes adds another layer to the reveal LOL. I wish there was a bit more of the test shown, maybe showing how the both of them dealt with one of the traps or obstacles on the tower.

The paneling and shot choice is really nice. I really liked the panel(s) of Charlie's punches, I think it has multiple purposes, intentional or not: emulating a fly's compound eyes and also illustrating Charlie's speed, and then there's the panel of Flygirl's own hands later on the page. I liked that set up a lot.
The last page is also a really silly and satisfying ending that made me laugh because yeah.... she did just beat up that child.....

Very solid comic here Krispy. You're getting a better understanding of anatomy and making those poses work for you. I really admire that even though you aren't perfect with anatomy yet you're still pushing yourself to doing harder poses and weirder angles. Such as the final panel with the impressive forshortening, and the bottom panel on page 3. I do believe theres a bit of work to be done there, but as someone who is still ass at anatomy myself I really appreciate you going the extra mile. Story is really hard to fully judge when you only got a week for it. You made the small page count work for you. Writing wise I do wish there was a bit more sauce there, but honestly you did pretty good with what you were given, Time and page limit is all. The final punch line didnt hit as hard for me which, I think there's ways to focus on the timing of the final joke to make it hit harder. Maybe another page just to let the final page of big dialogue breath a bit more. But all in all very nice work from you!

Really nice work on this one Kaz! Like Krispy your anatomy is also getting better the more you go on. I would suggest to start trying out some more dynamic poses, and weirder angles for your panels. You do a lot of head one, or variants of a head on panel. Your comics would take that next step if you started changing it up a little bit more. I do believe you're at a point where you a lowkey mastering your own form of comics storytelling so takign that next step in the art department would be stellar for you in the long run. You remain one of the funniest writers in the oct scene. I think your strongest jokes this time were the up close shot on Vangelica with youre just a baby, and the final punchline. I do love me a good ole beat up children joke. Youve got everything here that makes a perfect kaz comic, I can't wait to see the steps you take to make these comics even better. Great job Kaz!

I like the layout of the first two pages, it makes for a really nice introduction. I really like page 2, seeing the cut in of their gazes as they size each other up, with the whole scope of the challenge in the background. Bob the Dummy is very cute. Some of the speech bubbles felt a bit cramped, and the connecting lines between them were a bit messy, and the transition from page 3 to page 4 felt a bit abrupt.

Short but very funny! The build up of the fight to the immediate cut to the end result is a great gag, though it would have been cool to see Flygirl's abilities in action as well. Her reaction to learning Charlie's age was such a mood too lol. There was a lot of negative space in the gutters that probably could have been trimmed down, and the use of the different fonts per character made things feel a bit mismatched, since you already were using different colored speech bubbles to differentiate between them.

You've written a solid gag comic here, and one that does not even reveal itself as such until the final page, which is pretty impressive. In many ways, its the perfectly constructed joke: involved and elaborate set-up with the explanation of the rules and the intense rivalry energy between the students turned on its head with a simple but pithy punchline.

Charlie's lil' stinker face was a terrific way to wrap up the comic. I sort of dig how there almost seems to be an implication that Charlie at least knew that Val was going to get tripped up on a technicality. Very funny if so.

Lots of nice visual touches throughout the pages here - I like how Charlie and val have a sort of parallel action thing going up until the final page. The panel of them springing into action on page 3 delivers a lot of energy, and leaves the reader primed to be floored by the punchline on the last page~

This one had me giggling throughout. Vangelica plays a terrific straight man protag, which makes her turning around and beating up a kid all the funnier (love the choice to have the newspaper page be a one-panel page punchline; it absolutely lands a gut-buster.

(The small touch of charlie in a body cast really adds something to the humor of it all. I also like Van having a little band-aid as a callback to the punch that Charlie almost lands)

Great expressions throughout this comic. I loved everything from Charlie's super-determined face to Val about to cry thinking about hitting a kid (which, of course, makes the ending all the funnier). You also deploy some pretty cool art choices for showing off the fight without explicitly showing the fight. The view of Charlie's punches through Val's compound eyes was an inspired choice, and I like the limb focus at the bottom of page two, before the connecting blows start.

This was a very fun little read.
I enjoy how Charlie wins on a technicality, a very cheeky move.
Overall the pacing was nice and quick, made good use of the 4 pages.

The biggest critique that comes to mind for me off the bat is your word balloons and the text within them. I think the font was fine, but going a little smaller so it doesn't feel so cramped would help with readability and looks a little nicer. Helps with the composition of the text within the balloon.

Great job! Very fun comic!

The entry had a real fun sense of humor.
I like the set up of her having to deal with beating up a 13 year old and feeling conflicted with that.

On page two with the panel with the multiple punches, it did take me a moment to understand that was the effect you were going for, I imagine it was to reference the way it gets reflected in a fly's eye? Which I think is clever!

For execution, maybe rounding the panel out to resemble an eye to drive home that reference, and maybe the fist tilted up more to show it coming at her in perspective with some speed lines may drive home the intent you were aiming for.

Otherwise, fun read!

Good work getting a completed comic through from beginning to end! You've got a cute and funny gag payoff out of it and points for the fun dance pose at the end! The thing I would like to see you focus on in future comics is improvement of your word balloon and text sizing. Go for reduced stroke widths of your balloons, try to keep your text for speaking generally the same unless there's some real volume changes you want emphasized, and add some extra pillowing between the text and the borders of the balloons.

Great job beating up a child and even getting it recorded on camera! Another cute and funny gag payoff for this battle, and kudos for a completed comic too! There are some thumbs up panels here and there as well. I think your font and lettering is also something you can make fast improvements on in your future pages. Check out places like Blambot.com that offer free comics-reading-friendly fonts for regular folks to use, as opposed to the more basic fonts being used here.

You've got some great dynamic angles off the get like our twosome staring up at the loudspeaker and a real sense of using your entire page with setting up the challenge before the test truly begins. I think its a fun tongue in cheek end to have such dynamic movement and action in your comic only for the victory to be had on a uniform technicality lol. Pretty practical reasoning even!
It's so great to see your comics again and the clear improvements and tips you've utilized since we last saw you. Keep it up! :D

Clean sharp and crisp digital work! Your writing really has Vangelica's personality leaping off the page as we're introduced to a rather unlucky match up. While everything is super clear and comes across, much of your 'action' is pretty stiff. I think its most evident in that VERY cool multiple punch set of panels flung by Charlotte on page 2. Granted, we all know drawing action can be difficult, so I commend giving it the shot you did as its pretty clever, but I'd encourage you to give some of your favorite action comics you consume a peek for inspo on how to infuse more movement in your own work.
Both you and your opponent must've had a hive mind with your choice of tongue in cheek ending (did you two plan this? XD) I found myself chuckling at the smashcut to the student paper article.

Oh! I loved this one so much I knew going into reading this round you two were gonna be my fav goobers and I wasnt diisapointed lol. The short and simple contest of speed between the two of these girls makes for a great setup and lends itself a little more in favor of flygirl due to being well a fly that can..fly! which which made it even better for the clever little loophole that secured charlie the win :0 I bonus points of the freakin sonic splits pose win panel and the flygirl in the back

KAZAR COMIC! hahaa like i said for krispy's I love both of your characters and honestly I cant decide which one I like more and wish both of you can tie and go to another round! same with krispy your short comic really works to get the quick giggle out of me for this round and I love fly girl locking and and getting the smash panel of her victory which really made me laugh a wonderful comic as always