Oculama

I really love when you get your comics in full-swing. This ends up being an instance where there's so much promise to the story but we don't get there, which is a real shame - but that won't stop me from dropping a couple things I took notice of! I really like Bon Fiera. She has such a good little design - definitely reminds me of some of your older characters in a fun way.

While you can reuse character images and stuff, it's definitely a 'sometimes' thing. If you had kept the same Ember head and everything on Page 2, you probably needed to keep the same angle/panel style. It feels a bit uncanny otherwise - too noticeable but also clearly something that was done to get a quick copy-paste to cover a panel, which doesn't give it a 'camera A' and 'camera B' effect. Your backgrounds, while minimal, weren't too bad. I think you should use more of a sharpie to cover more solid blacks. You probably intended to go for colors though, so understandable there. Also, love a good Special Friend cameo.

It's been too long since we've seen you do anything - we gotta get you around more often! Good work!

I know that tournaments aren't your usual wheelhouse, but this was a really good showing! Ember was characterized really well and it almost puts their first in class status in question due to their actions with Bon Fiera - which a very interesting angle to take it, intended or not!

Small thing I noticed with Ember - you have your glasses a little mismatched in some spots. The worst of that is page 2 - panel 4. I think in the future, just drop some circle tool to get the basic shape and then ink over it a bit if you want to keep your line consistency (but I don't think that's too necessary). Outside of that, this is really well paced and super good! You did a great job, especially with those tones and the story.

Can't wait to see what you do next round - keep up the great work! Excellent job!

I really enjoyed the exposition given to the Test itself on the first page, it gives a quick looks at Ember's perspective on the Test but also allows for future set up!
Using Ember's internal monologue to highlight Bon is a efficient, and I really enjoyed the grayscale screentones throughout the comic! It was never hard to read or difficult to understand what was happening.
I feel like I know Ember more from this round, and positive and negative traits, which is great in a round one!

The supporting cast here is really fun, creates some nice interaction and sets the scene well, and makes the Test overall feel lively! Although the comic itself is a bit short, there doesn't feel like there's a notable conflict, this feels like the start of something rather than a complete story. It'd be cool if we could see the very start of their test, or even just them getting suited up.
Other than that, the flow is nice, and I like the texture the lineart's got!

Ooh a fire round, metaphorically and literally! (Bad idioms yes)

I thought the story was very well-constructed - it had good story beats and also gave us a good introduction to the world-view and characters as well! Loved how well Bon played off Ember’s personality too; Bon felt like a core part of Ember’s story, and it was nice seeing multiple sides of Ember through their interaction.

I think the only thing I would say is the comic might have benefitted from a few more shots from father away. The shots that do show environment are a bit close-up as well, so having shots from a farther angle might have made the environment feel more spacious and gave us some breathing room.

That being said though, I think there was enough background shown so we do not get lost on where everyone is or what’s happening, so it is just all extra thoughts! Overall, I had a lot of fun reading the round, and seeing the problems Ember might have to overcome in the future, it makes me excited to see her future story too!

Now who WOULDN’T be looking forward to the good high-school popular girl beef?

I always love comics which put in fun tidbits, as it does really show care in the story (I love Ember’s cool royalty-free music). Also loved that the side characters had cool designs too - it was a nice touch to the world-building, and made good use of the fact there were additional characters present.

And because all the characters were interesting, it would have been nice to have seen a bit more of their story this round! I think the idea was to make an introduction to Bon’s upcoming story (which is perfectly fine, especially with the page limits), but if there was a slight turn/twist in this chapter too, I think it could have also served as its own standalone chapter as well, instead of just being the first part of another story.

That being said though, it definitely worked well as a great introduction comic! It gave us hints of what kind of discussion might come up in future chapters, giving us something to look forward to for sure!

VERY interesting start, I lowkey had to check that you were writing this hahaha. Having Ember almost be disqualified is an incredible way to start the test and leaves so much room for writing prompts in the future. I am very interested in seeing what lies in the future for them, and how they deal with the hurt reputation. This really has everything I want out of a comic, it is very hard to nitpick. Personally I think you could have done a bit more backgrounds but also like, it's a week round who is going to draw complex backgrounds super often, so I can't even ding you for that. And even if I wanted to, your use of screen tones and the hatching background made up for it and gave the comic more pop. A fantastic comic, very nice job!

It's a shame that it looks like you couldn't get to the rest of the comic. You have alot of really interesting set up here, especially with all the extra side characters enhancing the story and the world of Polaris Heroics Academy. What you do have is really good, super clean, everyone is really distinct and has their own personality but it's just lacking the rest of the meal. A stellar opening but nothing after that, is what it is, the week timer is pretty hard to deal with. I'm glad you submitted what you did though, and it is always nice to see the return of an inaugural character like Special Friend. Nice work!

I'm sad that we didn't get to see more, because I like what you were setting up. The character introductions gave so much personality, and I was interested in seeing how their rivalry would play out, but all we got was set up and no pay off, ending rather abruptly. I do like the art of the characters, and think the designs of the side cast are all very strong, though it would have been nice to see a bit more going on in the background of the third page, it was hard to imagine where they were supposed to be.

I really like the style you went with here with the use of screen tones, adding a lot of visual texture and dimension to otherwise blank backgrounds. I think it was also a bold decision to have your character lose the round vs your opponent, but it opens up for a lot of potential for Ember's storyline as one of personal growth rather than triumphing over her rivals, and I'm looking forward to seeing how she develops in further rounds.

Solid story here. It's almost a fable, in many ways, in how neatly the line from action to consequences can be drawn for how Ember conducts herself throughout the story. That simplicity is an absolute strength of the comic, a brief character arc that not only leaves Ember with room to grow through potential future rounds, but also sets up a beautiful contrast with how Bon behaves.

Clear layouts and skilled linework here as well. The work you've put into your craft come through strongest here, and make the action easy to follow. Tones are solid as well, bolstering the cleanness of the comic's look overall.

Bon's inscrutability here is interesting; there's clearly an animosity between her and Ember, but she is apparently willing to set it aside for a collective good performance. Whether that is genuine or not, it's an interesting twist to the character.

Great, tight storytelling here, and a hot start to the tournament!

Love the wordart at the top of the story. It's a nice, striking header, and is suitably loud in contrast to the more even-keeled interaction that follows.

There's a lot of very cool character designs in this comic! From other returning OCs to the student designs you've created for this comic, I'm enjoying how colorful you've made the student body (or at least the sample thereof we get in this conversation). Always a must for this sort of setting, in my view.

Good job also with setting up the tone and nature of the conflict between Bon and Ember. The enmity is palpable, and we get a good idea of where each of them stand re: that enmity. It's the sort of setup that makes one look forward to seeing skin hit skin.

As ever, thank you for sharing your work. Hope you are taking a well-deserved rest!

It is VERY cool to see this tourney manager up and running and seeing it filled with some old comic alums facing off against each other. I hate/love that this is the match up for round 1 because I certainly don't know what to vote for! It's so great to see nods to classic caped crusaders as the bedrock for these student heroes in the making as we're introduced to this training sesh. I am surprised to see you take a unique angle with what I think everyone expected- which was a wildfire of a battle, but this was a great way to show off Bon Fiera's true hero chops and shockingly highlight Ember is burning bright for her own sake. It's not often we get to see someone highlight their opponent in this way- more often than not the angle is to make your own character look good, but this surprised me enough I definitely intrigued where ember goes from here.

This deadline was cuthroat, so I doff my hat to the fact you delivered what I think is a pretty eyecatching prologue. It's so great to see your work gracing Oculama's halls once more. I adore Special Friend has made a cameo in this universe as a teacher. Really I love your penchant for worldbuilding with characters and making the universe these character are burning through feel established well before they came onto the scene. You've primed us for what's to come, but I wish we'd been given just a bit more to whet our appetite for what you had in store. It seems we reached the end when it was just getting going!

Oh I love the immediate Queen bee energy Ember gives off followed, not by the not often done immediate humbling! as per usual your grayscales and quality from panel to panel is always neat and on point even with the limited time frame! the facial expressions and the nostalgic newspaper feel on this comic from your tones works great to really draw me into the quick pace and tension of the first leg of the exam and I also really liked how well you constructed the environment around the the test with the different areas and explanation at the start! bonus points for putting ember on top to show she feels she's bigger than everyone else at the school as well! Im curious to see how you go forward with her backstory on why she edging towards perfectionist villiany! great job!

First off I REALLY like the effort and style put into the title on the first panel very fancy and reminds me of european comics of old in a way. Your linework is very neat and expressive on the outfits and facials while still keeping a modest detail on character designs and features! the only real crits is that its short I feel like maybe one more page would have done a little more just for focusing on either bon/embers bad blood a little more or an opening shot of them engaging with the teachers or having the test ground come into view. Very good opening shot for the next round :)

Absolutely devouring this classic screentone look! I would love to know what you used here! All in all a solid A entry in my book. Strong presentation for the flawed hero, a hard lesson for her to learn about what it takes to be a hero. I definitely want to see more of her in the future be it in The Test or beyond.
Quick question because I noticed the examiner refer to her as "Mrs" Moore, is this an intended bombshell reveal!

Great to see you pumping out pages even after all these many years! Love seeing all the little Mister Kent OC cameos sprinkled about as well! Long knowing your output I'm guessing the speed rush got a little ahead of you with this entry as unfortunately your story's a few pages short of a conclusion. I was interested in where it was heading. Win or lose I'd love to see more of your work around here moving forward.