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First, I must say I deeply enjoy the facial expressions you pull off in some of these panels. The mini-golf setting is a nifty idea, and lends a great deal of fun to the proceedings. I did have a spot of trouble following some of the action and understanding some of the character actions/decisions here. I sort of got why we get the snake/tree/elephant parable, what with the reveal of "god" at the end, but it still reads as a little clunky, and I'm not fully convinced by Peters decrying the swords as witchcraft and then them being used to...for lack of a better word cheat out a win at golf? But I digress. Those final color pages were a terrific way to close up the comic, and I think with a bit of streamlining of purpose in the dialogue and action, you've got a standout comic.
Your Luke is ADORABLE, and the dialogue with Masanori was really quite nice re: how pleasant they were to each other, even when at odds. I feel like I get a great helping of both characters' personalities. My one note would be the actual action (talk, fight off forest beastie, agree to disagree) isn't on the same level of compelling as everything else. While the exchange and interplay of the characters is excellent, I feel overarching events of the comic don't do complete justice to your talents. Your art, as ever, is clean, fun, and a delight to take in. I love how you use the greyscale to get the characters to pop, and there's something very endearing in how you portray your human/ human-esque characters.
Really fun!! I just love the dynamic these characters have with each other and how they play off one another. The art is really awesome too--Luke's explanation of the Mother is just a great page, and the monster is really well drawn, too. This is just a perfect little scene of character development for these two guys--it kinda reminds me of something that would be in Star Wars Tales, or another anthology series like that, which are some of my favorite things in comics really. I am absolutely stoked to see more of both of these characters. Keep it up!
Absolutely love this comic. You managed to perfectly capture the Chick Tracts/Moral Orel energy you're clearly going for with Luke, both in the art and the writing. Masanori also comes across great, a mysterious being who knows more than he's letting on. Everything is very clean and easy to read, the narrative is concise without being cut short, and the humor hits all its beats perfectly. And that last panel, MAN, that hit like a ton of bricks. I'm gonna have to keep an eye on your future comics, because this might be one of my favorites so far. Keep it up.
CALRISSIAN- Nice idea dedicating your grayscaling to the environment and leaving your characters white. Really makes em stand out (ooo I still spy the clocktower tho!). also not too often you see square word bubbles. Unique style choice! :D The changeover to Luke's evangelical presentation is great. the spot of color I think works and almost feels like this whole comic page could be part of a brochure. Also nice nod to the infamous Chick tracts on your last page joke.
If had any notes, I'd say show some TLC to your sound effects. Your inkwork and detailing is definitely dedicated to your characters, but sound effects are part of the composition as well. Get stylized with it. Check out some font styles for inspiration as to what look would serve the scene. Like the 'Ssss' on page 4 would've looked killer is the S's had aa windblown effect. Some things to think about!
PEPPER- Gosh I love Luke's expressions. Hilarious (and lethal!) reactions to his shoulder devil, haha! I also dig the unexpected setting. A putt putt mini and big golf course is such an unlikely place to preach, but it made for amusing battleground, so to speak.
Your inks are clean and sharp, which I think stand well enough on their own, so I was confused as to why your last two panels were in full color, it was so abrupt. I'd recommend a gradual transition (if that's your bag!) so we 'bleed over' to the full color bodaciousness you're going for.
Also could we have caught a glimpse at Mother Lux? I'm getting a theme here with the otherwordly beings in this tournament having a penchat for eyes!
The first thing that really stuck out to me with this one is how well you foreshadowed the major conflict. The tiny spider on the first page, the shadow of the spider on page 3. It made the interjection of the spider on page 4 work well and not disrupt the dialogue between the characters. Speaking of, the little presentation that Luke gives has that great dichotomy of "normal churchy rules" and "wait this is kind of unsettling". It especially works well with the all black background. The only thing I really could say was missing was more Masanori! He's very cool and while focusing on your opponent is always a great way to structure a OCT fight I was left thinking "man I want to know more about this guy and his cool swords!"
Mini-golf and discussions of theology was not a combination that I expected. I'll be honest I'm always interested to read your stuff Pepper because of how unpredictable your setups often are. Additionally, the dialogue here flows so well with the art, with both characters able to espouse their viewpoints in a very natural way as opposed to just yelling platitudes. The comedic touches are also great, the angel/devil bit, the destruction of the course, the pamphlet. Also just a great reveal at the end, probably one of the better hooks I've seen and really compelling considering Luke appears initially as just a nice, if slightly culty guy.
This comic is cute. Just a friendly interaction between a wise old warrior and a young zealot. I enjoy that there isn't really a conflict, just difference of minds followed by understanding. It's not the most enthralling of stories but it's a sweet little thing that fits the small page count.
Aesthetically, the white on grey helps keep the focus on the characters and is quite clear, but the second page using black backgrounds and a smidge of colour is real neat! Especially as the gutters/borders. It is the most effective and beautiful page.
Overall this was a solid little read. I had a smile.
Oh great mother lux, I sin because I love you.
This comic is quite funny.
Perspective is a little wonky on that first establishing shot, but it still gets across where the events are taking place effectively. The goofy golf course fits in with wild geometry (and I do enjoy all the silly things within) and it reads very well; no confusion about sequence.
The expressions are quite fun and I especially enjoy everything to do with the shoulder angel & devil. Things do feel a bit stiff at times, the two panels on the bottom of page 4 stick in my head of feeling off. But then at the top of that page our boy's got his head tilted in that "well what is it" pose and it's great.
And of course, there's that final page. The contrast with the rest of the comic, the sudden mood swing, the sheer cosmic pressure it gives. It could not have ended better. The coloured panel building up to it helps sell the leap, I think it is doing work.
Overall, this comic made me laugh and then made me absolutely hype! The middle was a bit weaker than it's strong start and end, but damn did they make up for it! I greatly enjoyed this!
I liked this comic a lot! despite the expectation that a fight would be imminent going with a simple walk I think worked out pretty well just as small moment between two people that meet on the road by chance. The reactions by luke after Masanori shows him his sword possession was great and made me laugh. You also displayed a great level of background detail and kept it consistent throughout the comic which is a great plus. A solid entry with a good open shut discussion. I am a bit curious as to how masanori's swords work as we didnt get as much info on him in the exchange as we got from luke. looking forward to seeing more of Masanori in the future!
So I love the way you expressed Luke in this comic special mention going to the angel and devil panels on page 1 legit made me laugh out loud. Your facial expressions are super strong through out the comic and I liked the background detail and that you moved the two through the golf courses and gave the comic a plus to feeling like they are fully in the location having a discussion. But the part that was a bit confusing is why the swords are reeking havoc on the golf course it self? it makes for great background detail but is a bit distracting from the words of caution Masanori is giving Luke with the tie in of the sword tripping him being a bit weird. Your writing here is very strong though and I like that both sides get to have there opinion heard. the ending with the elder god lux shot is great as well and cant wait to see that come into play later down the line lol. great comic
This is a close matchup, you both did a great job! This pairing in particular lends itself to some funny interactions, which you've definitely pounced on. Both characters get time to shine (heh heh heh) with a natural flow to their dialog. Your linework is really clean, your action is energetic, and where you do have backgrounds they look great.
On that note, though, there are a few too many panels with our characters floating in a grey void! It works for page 2 as a humorous expositional segment, but otherwise they feel detached from any setting. Some more detail here, and/or going in with some light gradient wash could help! Nice one overall, really enjoyed it.
This is another contender for one of my absolute favorites of the round. Packed full of jokes and gags that all manage to land. Murdering his shoulder devil, horrified by the witchcraft, the weapons all being petulant children... great touches. The end reveal is expected and still funny. Despite a lot going on with this mini-golf course this is still easy to follow thanks to some clean art and good composition.
Like with your opponent, I think your backgrounds are a bit sparse at times. It gives the mini golf course an endless flat plane purgatory vibe, which maybe works? Either way, it's something to lean into or work around!
Solid comic! I enjoy your line art and sense of movement quite a bit, but my favorite thing was the way you did some panels, such as the one that sees the two characters trough the foliage. That was very neat! I think your action is solid and I especially enjoy the backgrounds that you draw. You make the panels feel a lot bigger inside with your good use of space and perspective, something I myself struggle greatly with. Writing wise, this pretty straightforward and I feel it gets both charachters across pretty well! I think you used the time exceptionally well for this comic. Its very enjoyable as a result of it.
First of all: The expressions in this are so funny. You have a very good style for more gag and humor oriented comics, but i gotta say that last page is pretty killer. I would have loved to see that kind of colorwork troughout the comic! I think the biggest critique I might have is the way you draw backgrounds feel like it need some better perspective as charachters and object feels almost like they are floating due to not aligning to a horizonal plane due to the lack of perspective points. Writing wise, this was pretty damn strong, the dialogue was funny, the swords being "family" gave a chuckle and the final page is pretty damn great imo. Good job!
Randio, I waited so long to see a comic with Masanori and it's finally here and it did not disappoint. I love their interaction and this is such a wholesome comic. Everything is well drawn and a minor nitpick is just to use some tones/textures maybe on those flat gray backgrounds if you can afford it. It's a quick step that could give your panel a more 'finished' look. I love the pure black bg on page 2 though and the disclaimer 'Your apocalypse may vary' gave me a chuckle. On a deeper level, I love that you were able to demonstrate how Luke and Masanori can get along despite their differences in beliefs. Something that all of us can learn and appreciate from!
Pepper, a nice game of mini golf and a deep philosophical discussion?! Wow, I never thought I'd see that in a comic especially with characters like Luke and Masanori. Drawing a mini golf setting is such a challenging undertaking especially for a one weeker comic and it is definitely commendable that it did not deter you and you did not skimp on the details either! Masanori's swords were hilarious and I love that you got to showcase their personalities. That last panel was shocking and ominous (and beautifully rendered as well). I am even more invested in Luke's story now =O
I really enjoyed the art work on display here in this comic the expressions are really great on the characters and how they interact with one another I think my only complaint is some aspects of the monsters attacking felt a little forced to create tension between the comic and I wish it was more of a debate between these characters as they had differing ideals about the universe and their place whithin it. also some of the dialog boxes are a bit hard to decipher about who is saying what and I really needed context clues to figure it out. over all really good and solid comic!
I was really curious when seeing the character how he would play out and part of me was curious if it would be serving a malevolent god or if it was just going to be played completely straight and I am glad it leans more on the dark side with such a fun loving character and putting a dark twist on it. also I really enjoyed the interactions between the characters as they debated their stances on life and how laid back the entire comic is it was all a lot of fun to read I think my only complaint is Lux feels a bit too human with the mouth makes her feel to approachable but maybe thats the point.