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Comic completed on August 15th 2022

Rivana

Whoo!! Voted! Well done both of you!

Piñata

Lets magically operationalize our our comic trajectory!

NonbinaryFinery

Time for some corperate Synergy

Voting is closed.

InexcusableFridgeman

The action shots in your comic are excellently drawn out, and display some great understanding of motion, weght, and momentum in a panel. All your expressions in this comic are very evocative, and you manage to incorporate the background & setting into the majority of your panels! Your comic staus very dynamic throughout and has a quite funny ending panel.
Your comic feels slightly out of focus, however, with your lines ending up quite blurry either due to compression or a blurry lining brush. Maybe try something shraper for your ourlines next time? I also think you could do with thinning the outline around your speech bubbles.

InexcusableFridgeman

I'm immediately struck by the great colouring in this comic! It's used excellently to help highlight important parts of panels and locations. You've got some very ambitious panel work going on, and it's executed to great effect! It's nice to see the little nod to They, and your use of posing and shot angles works wonders for framing dominance within scenes. This is a great introduction to [REDACTED] and her personality.
It might be intentional, but this comic feels very one-sided, and Psyche getting instantly squished by [REDACTED] slightly dampens the tension and action taking place in your combat section of the comic.

Piñata

Comic cover, with an issue number and everything. SO EXTRA and I am here for it :D Once we're in, we got some really great colors going on. Everyone seems to have chosen some really picturesque times of day to set their comics in and this no exception. Loving the pinks and warm tones- it contrasts nicely with Redacted's cool colors.

I also didn't realize how great of a match up this was. A ghost vs a soul devourer? You took that and ran with it hardcore- down to the graveyard they meet in. Love the devouring shot on page 3 with the panel itself splintering as it crunches down on our well dressed ghost with the most. your embellishment and addition to the sound effects page to page really make these impactful moments pop. That DOOM really gave me the willies as we pass over all the moments Psyche is witnessing. BUT ALSO- bloodstained photo?? White Hat? Are you off working on backstory and character lore already?? XDD

Piñata

Well dressed ghosts?? THE HORROR XD

Haha, the yoinking of Redacted's shades as Psyche pulls a CSI YEEEAAA line is great. Nice little humorous moments is what I'm here for. Owned!

If there's one note I'd give you, it'd be to check out adding some sound effects to your action panels. You got some fantastic angles with the nunchucks flying out at Psyche, but its in utter silence. I think showing off the force of that shot with an SFX or the restricting jangle of chains when they wrap around your girls body will up the ante and make those action moments even more dynamic. You can even get stylized with the font to add to the drama.

I'd also look into your line quality. There was an odd fuzz to the inks which left me wondering if you're inking your work with a soft brush. Experimenting with hard brushes or just giving the work a pass with the sharpen filter may help!

Rivana

I adore that pseudo comic cover you made! Love the Oculama symbol, makes me wish we could print all these comics one day! Excellent use of colors and the magenta really gives the whole comic a mysterious and magical vibe. Love the layout on page four where we see all the visions as a result of Psyche eating [Redacted]'s soul.

I noticed a few typos but nothing too glaring so maybe a cursory spell check would be something that I can add as a point of criticism and perhaps just a bit more cleanup on the linework in some parts. (Psyche's hair looked more like a cloud on page 3 panel 1 for instance). On certain parts, I thought the balloon tails were too tiny (page 5 panel 1.). It's great that you did not solely use black for your linework though. I think it really sold the spectral qualities of [Redacted]'s face and Psyche's soul eating serpent for instance!

I normally try not to make a habit of looking at character profiles before reading the comic just a test of how much of themselves I can grasp from the comic because that normally is an indicative of good storytelling to me (not necessarily having to reveal everything about a character but parts of them that are essential to the narrative). Anyhow, I think you've accomplished that here! I love the contrast of [Redacted]'s calm demeanor despite indirectly bringing the worst news of all (total annihilation of a world/universe it looks like!). Great set up that you did here for future stories of these two! Well done!

Rivana

Ooh snap! You brought us a straight up battle! Can't go wrong with that! Also a nicely colored comic! A lot of the panels look really blurry though compared to the sharpness of the speech bubbles. I am not sure if those were intentional or just an unfortunate effect of the post processing of the pages. I love how you drew Psyche's face and her varying expressions. She seems like a fun character and I kind of want her to meet Raven haha. Also that transition of [Redacted]'s weapon from rope to chain was really cool on Page 2. But yeah very solid comic overall! That last line by Psyche is so badass! I REALLY LOVED THAT!

RedStalk

This is a really enjoyable entry! Both characters have room to shine, and it's visually delicious. I think you're linework especially has a great balance between solid and looser strokes where appropriate for the characters and action. And what a cool cover page!

I have a few things to point out. One is your text formatting and bubbles - I suggest reducing the line space and kerning if possible to give your bubbles a bit more breathing room. As it is right now a lot of your text is pushing right up to the edge of their bubbles, which does cause some legibility issues. It also looks like your horizon point is set a bit shallow for the church landscape on the first page, so the perspective looks a bit flat in that first panel.

Great work overall!

RedStalk

A fun little fight! Super clear to read the choreography happening, and a logical ebb and flow to how it plays out. Some great facial expressions and posing throughout, and the vibrant colors really help bring everything to life. I also like how you differentiate your text bubbles for all the characters. A tasty treat of a comic, I'd go back for seconds.

Two criticisms from me: One is resolution issues. I see you've already acknowledged this on Discord so I won't belabor the point, but it is noticeable enough to be distracting for me. The second is the length: I think this really could've used another page or two to properly set up your opponent and establish their motivation starting a fight more clearly.

GoldenOwl

Very very VERY enjoyable art style. I was impressed by the dynamic treatment of the panel layouts and sound effects, which was bold, yet never distracted from the story. The colour pallets and consistency were also very well done and aesthetically pleasing, the use of rich and neon tones added to the supernatural vibe of both characters. As for the story, it was punchy and the action was fun, showing off both character's abilities. While I appreciated the amount of visual storytelling/exposition that was used, I did find myself wanting a bit more overt/direct context for who each character was. A little title or intro card, or a direct reference via dialogue. This sometimes feels too on the nose, but I personally find it very helpful and engaging when I don't need to wonder whos who and why! Otherwise, a really stylish comic, a wicked character, and awesome work!

GoldenOwl

I was really grabbed by your art style in this comic, your lines are confident and that speaks volumes. Your use of colours was good too, the simplicity works well. Nice action!!! The flow of the fight was seamless and entertaining, with some great use of posing in some of the panels. I do feel like that dynamism could have been used a tad more in the very last panel to drive home that cool victory line haha. As for writing, (and I made this point to your opponent too) I felt the need for some more direct introduction to the characters names/identities. Personally it makes my engagement in the story watertight enough to flow along without being distracted by the question: who are these folks? Especially when it comes to first/introductory comics, its essential, readers have never seen them in action, and they might not (read: probably wont) read their character sheets. Without it, my investment in one's victory over the other is much harder to place. That being said, the few preamble panels allowed me to some time to click with your character, so that worked! All in all a very solid comic, excited to see more!

Hisagium

Use of textures and colors: GREAT. Fine lineart work as well! The story feels solid and mysterious, without giving away too much but consolidating the characters' motifs.
I appreciate a lot the ideas you had in pages 3 and 4, with the panels shattering when the dragon-spirit tries to eat [Redacted] and the memories shocking Psyche's mind. I think they came out pretty well! It's interesting that you featured some characters of the Oculama universe, giving some field for an overarching storyline in the future maybe.
Sometimes the characters feel a bit too static to me, it would be cool to see some diverse poses here and there in the future. Good job!!

Hisagium

The comic starts in a mysterious setting but the relationship between Misty and the witch inside the tiara is clear and entertaining. They mention a previous fight but we don't know what happened exactly, not that it's needed, but probably some more context behind it would have worked. I liked how the fight was wrapped up in only two pages and there's some cool dynamic shots here and there (bravo with the bottom view of Psyche on the ground in page 2), but unfortunately [Redacted] feels too anonymous in the story. We don't know why they're hunting down Psyche and we have no hints about who they might be. Overall it's a fine and light comic!

maxes

Wonderful comic! This comic is pretty darn good despite the short length. I think that benefits it. Also, the artwork is good. I didn't notice that the inking was just a sketch! It looks pretty clean! The action is short but man did Psyche turn the tables around. I wonder if (REDACTED) is now held hostage by her.... Is she gonna be able to do her assassin job still?? Will she escape the moment Psyche looks away? Who knows? Overall, this comic is pretty solid. Short but good. Psyche seems like a cool character too! Hope to see her in future comics. Amazing job👍👍

maxes

What a cool comic! I loved the artwork here so much. The cover is very eerie! The colors are so good and the panelling is great albeit some minor confusion I had rreading the layout. I love this comic because it gave lots of insight into (REDACTED)'s past. I wonder if we'll see more of that in the future comics. There wasn't much action here but the dialogue gave me chills. The characterization was pretty good and I had a good time reading it. I hope we can see what (REDACTED)'s past was like and how it plays into the plot of the next comics. Great job!

Spiral_Joe

The palette is absolutely great here. The pinks and purples really accent the scenes and make the feeling of otherworldliness almost palpable. Additionally, the nebulous dread and foreboding that [Redacted] exudes makes interested to see how future interactions will go. The concept of an interdimensional agency that has rendered possible doomsday scenarios as nothing more than another thing to be considered within a greater bureaucracy is a perfect vibe for your character. The only thing I would say I would have liked to see was honestly more, the panel on the third page where Psyche summons the spirit was a little cramped and I would have loved to see it fully shown as this threatening presence to further contrast with how mundane this all ends up being to [Redacted]. Ultimately, very excited by the hooks you've set out and interested to see them pay off!

Spiral_Joe

Man another fully coloured comic, I don't know how you both do it. Despite the issues you mentioned around the fuzziness of the lines I think it's still rendered quite well. Everything is very clean and readable throughout and I don't really think that the lines detract that much from the overall experience. The setup I think is quite well done and you don't spend too much time getting the fight going. The first panel of page 3 is definitely my favourite. Very classic comic vibes with Psyche breaking out of the chains and the big SFX. I think the only thing I would say that was missing was more of a fleshed out ending. You clearly show how Psyche would take control but I think it might have been nice to see where this lead to and where the two end up by the end of their exchange. However, within the restrictive deadline I understand that not everything is possible. But yeah still quite jazzed about this character and hope to see more of her!

Sparkle Magic Didi™

[Redacted] is a super cool character, it's great to see her in action! I love the color palette and ambiance you managed to get in your comic (especially knowing how fast you whipped this out!) You did a good job of making both characters pretty cool, I especially like that CHOMP panel, and I'm excited to see what [Redacted] meant by liquidation! In terms of critique, I guess I'd say that since I know how quickly you made your comic, it might be nice to spend a little more time to tighten some things up and have a little bit more detail in some things. Really though, great work, especially with the fast turnaround! (Seriously, a cover and everything! It's WILD)

Sparkle Magic Didi™

It's a bummer you couldn't finish your lineart, but these deadlines are brutal! It's still great that you managed to give it full color to help the comic feel more complete! I like the idea of the trap letter, that's a cool way to set up your fight! You also had some cool dynamic posing during your action scenes too. I know it's hard being the first comic and having such short deadlines, but it might have been nice to have fleshed out why everything was happening, though. It might be fun to explore Psyche and your opponents' personalities a bit more, and I didn't get too much of that from this. I did like the way you personalized the speech bubbles though, it was super clear who was talking throughout. I'm excited to see what else Psyche will be up to!

xeno112

So big fan of your artistic style I especially liked the way you drew [Redacted] re-materializing on the last page was super cool. conflict and setup work well and a nice dip into your opponents backstory for a darker/serious tone. The only two things I didnt quite understand were what the "awakening protocol and "soul tripping" were and how the investing part of [Redacted]'s powers worked ; that being said the pacing of the fight was short and sweet and easy to follow( I also like what I believe was the they of many names cameo in the fractal split). I do like to see the foundation of a plot forming for [Redacted] and am looking forward to more in the future!

xeno112

I liked the back and forth banter of Psyche/Misty and gave an good insight into how they both bounce of each other. The fight between Misty and [Redacted] was pretty good thought only a few points needed more explaining. The rope changing to a chain was something I had to go back and see happening because I didnt see the subtle switch as well as the reversal of the chain and sickle by Misty/Psyche's powers being able to pin down Redacted was a bit unexplained but I did like the reversal panel and the comedy of Misty trying to use her powers mid fight was great. The dialogue between the 2 was a bit minimum though( I myself am guilty of it as well) so I did find myself wanting a bit more to go off towards the end. Overall a great comic and I look forward to seeing more of the duo in the future!

Wolkemesser

These colors are terrific! You've curated an interesting time/place for this showdown of characters, and there's not much I can say about the art that won't come up in my critique of the writing. As far as the writing goes, I have to admit: I'm not really sure what is happening in this comic beyond the broad strokes. The motivations of both Psyche and [REDACTED] are a bit opaque, as is what they are actually doing on-panel. [REDACTED] is eaten and traumatizes Psyche from the inside is about as much as I took away. Still, clarity issues aside, there's a hint of something bigger being set-up here, and you've got me intrigued enough to want the next installment of [REDACTED]'s journey.

Wolkemesser

You've got a refined style and a nice use of perspective going on in some of these panels. I like also how clearly you depict the action going on, and Psyche comes through as a nicely distinct personality here. I think a bit more could be done for your opponent's character in this regard. They feel like they could have been just about any chain-wielding goon, and that feels like a loss for the comic, which could have stood maybe another page or two to flesh out the story and give the reader more of a sense of the context in which this conflict is happening. Overall a fun read; you have a great sense of composition that makes the individual panels worth lingering over.

CornOfTheBreads

This art is really good and it is great seeing you improve so much from comic to comic and I really enjoy the interactions between characters if I had one complaint it would have to be that your character overcoming your opponents abilities doesn't feel as earned and I feel that may be because this is their first comic on the site and it feels a bit akward how this comic concluded because they just outpower the magic of your opponent I guess in the end it just diddnt feel earned and seemed to just be stated, but maybe there was something I missed and Im not sure how else to conclude or change it in a meaningful way just felt very early on in this characters life to just be declaring that their soul cant be eaten. Over all a good comic though besides that gripe that took too much time to try to talk about.

CornOfTheBreads

I really like the background in this comic and the colors are really nice to see and I really enjoy in the shots how you've tried to vary the camera angle. That said a lot of the shots feel like they are all at the same distance from the characters and I really wish we got more time to really take in the environments and characters.standing in them. I also find the use of their accent being a bit strong and making somethings a bit hard to read and ruining the flow of the comic for me making me stop and have to reconsider some of your characters dialog. Over all short and sweet but could use some refinement.

At Least 3 Whole Goblins

Wow wow wow! Been a while since I've seen your art and you're still making some great stuff! I love the vibes [Redacted] gives off in this comic. Your big effect letters and backgrounds are superb here. I love the DOOM page in specific, seeing They there and the planet exploding very good stuff. Fun layouts throughout here too I love how the crunch page is cracked
I always love your colour palette but some choices here made reading a little difficult. Mostly page 3 when the Psyche snake has some things behind it and they're all the same blue confused me for a second. Other places it feels like the values are too similar and it makes the contents of the panel not stick out as much as they should even when the colours work for it.
I still think this is a solid first issue though very excited to see more of [Redacted]!

At Least 3 Whole Goblins

Ah this is such a good art style! I like how shapely you make things. You've also made a bunch of very fun design choices here, like [Redacted]'s speech bubbles being as blurry as their face. You also pulled off how to stylize their head very well. The writing of the Scottish accent was a great addition, it's always fun to have an extra way to distinguish different characters and add to their persona. I liked seeing how [Redacted] glitches everyday items into weapons in here and how you managed to fit in a few of them in the few pages you had.
My only qualms would be how the art is very noticeably at a different resolution than the speech bubbles and text, and how the comic feels like a very abrupt end. Looking forward to seeing more of your work