Oculama

Looking at the page count I was ready for another compact story, but y'all took us on a RIDE! This comic makes its transitions, small and huge, with an impressive amount of grace, and at times it almost feels like I should actually grip my seat. Your shifts from high-tension to humorous beats are nigh-seamless, and that you manage to build a very endearing relationship between Steve (Excuse me, STEVEN) and Ruby as it goes is further testament to your skill.

The genre shift *into* the creepy school fantasy/nightmare was tremendously well done - I laughed, I got REALLY terrified for the characters, and I breathed a literal sigh of relief when they escaped though I feel the setting itself and the exit from the school-cube could have used some elaboration, especially as it involved opponent OCs (so are Daisuke and Nyaomi even real people in the larger context of Oculama? or just parts of a dream monster? Other than their very good introductions, they feel like horror props to push the action along). The Pledge and the turn are terrific, in other words, but the pledge feels unequal to how well you pulled off the first two steps.

Finally, albeit still related to this comic's transitions, I gotta applaud you both for showing off a mastery with both color and B/W content - your colored pages aren't flashy, but they nail the *moods* of the ending and opening spot-on. The grayscale school bits are equally well-used to bolster the ridiculousness and dread of the dreamscape. I'm reminded of a very good (Goosebumps, I think?) horror book I read as a kid where a cameraman sends kids to a black-and-white purgatory schoolscape.

I use this term way too much but WOW this is great economy of storytelling. You have a tremendous sense for where information is needed and where it is not - I'm left wondering a bit at the specifics of Steven and Ruby's relationship by comic's end, but that's actually a plus in the comic's favor, as I still understand perfectly the temperature and *nature* of the relationship, even if it isn't defined in stone. And of course the contrast with Daisuke and Nyaomi deserves major props for giving the comic a critical balance of Levity, but also for the humor it delivers in a vacuum (I LOVE the parallels between how Ruby responds to Steve and Daisuke with a sort of (oh...okay) energy.

Any critiques here I would have would mostly be suggestions of omission - I almost wonder if you even need the title page (though it is lovely!) for the overall comic - I think the pages speak for themselves beautifully, and I would almost rather dive into them with the ol' comic cold opening.

Finally, that ART! Wowzers! I REALLY think the use of a lot of tight shots throughout was a great call for a comic that focuses on the relationships of the pairings involved. There's an almost discomfort to how zoomed-in we get, but it genuinely serves the narrative very well by showing how, in the close quarters of a relationship, it's important to make sure the dynamic itself is open and communicative (Even if it's a little funky~). Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but it was something I appreciated nonetheless!

CUP OF LOVE? MORE LIKE CUP MY FUCKING Bhey guys great comic here, i really was taken by surprise at your guy's ability to make these two an actual serious loving couple as opposed to a shiposty dynamic duo of sewage stench! i mean they still are that but thats WHY we love them as opposed to not.

Having a solid cafe date setup and washed down with some quality highschool romance, leading into some fucking relationship problems with Rub13 and Steve? needless to say, this comic took me ENTIRELY by surprise, a welcome one for sure. I have never wanted to root for Nyaomi and Daisu-shitface more and that kinda scares me a tad, yeah oh yep i think theres a bit of shit running down my leg would you look at that.

MAN this comic was everything i could have hoped for and MORE how the FUCK did you guys DO THIS???

The creative decisions that lead to the fucking HIGHSCHOOL REALITY BENDING CUBE?!??!! FUCKING GENIUS. what a gambit of storytelling that is and you went full fucking hog on this shit, and i am HERE for it. I love every second of Stuvy vs Nyaisuke shenanigans and i would have never fucking imagined that i wanted to see them as a Highschool Mean-Girl and Snot Boy Power Couple???!?! I love everything about this, and i hope it shows, amazing work you two

This comic was very cute overall! I enjoyed the painterly textured brush used through out the comic and over all warm palette. it added coziness to the comic.The story went at a pretty good pace and I really Adored how you both handled ruby and Steve. The gags gave me a few good chuckles!

I do feel here the Story could have been a bit stronger. Not much plot is established and not much happens In the comic overall I feel like.
but i think for a try at a little bit more "slice of life" leaning, it was a very cute comic. Thank you both so much!

This was a real delight to read! It was fun from start to finish a very funny. I thought the transitional use of color to grayscale was cleverly used and utilized well. You really nailed the high school manga vibe! The scrolling panel layout was used very well and the pacing was spot on! You both played with the genre very well and it felt fun the whole time.
My only critique I can think of is really minor and it felt a little rushed at the end, but other wise I think it was a really solid comic and really good first round!

Thank you both!

This was a very nice easy going story. A nice slice of life story. The art was also pretty neat to see, I liked the warm colours. I loved the visual gag with Daisuke looking like a grelmin.

I do feel there could of been more interactions between both sets of characters.
I kind of feel like that Nyaomi and Daisuke don't really talk with Steve. It did feel that they where very passing with Ruby and Steve.

Though it was a very nice short story with Ruby and Steve. Over all I felt like this was a very cute little comic. :D

I really enjoyed this comic! A very good pacing with some nice wonderful art.

I really loved the anime high shcool theme you went with. It really fit both sets of characters.

I guess a small nitpick would be to inculde more interactions with Daisuke.He sort of felt like a third wheel. But overall I did like the stuff you did with these guys. I also really liked the character relationship Ruby and Steve had.

I also really liked the narrative that you are developing with Ruby and Steve.I am intrested to see where this story gose with it's twists and turns

I really enjoy the almost watercolory style of your comic. You really get the warm yellowed glow of the overhead diner lights that illuminate this scene and subsequent interaction. This definitely feels like a comfort zone that no doubt helps considering the deadline, but with the power of two I'd recommend pushing these colors and make them a character. darken scenes of somber or dread, and give us a punch for intensity. Your humor and characters are on point- I'd love to see those moments drummed up by way of color if you're up for a bit of experimentation.

If there was one thing I found a bit lacking it was the utilization of your own characters. They come in and order, as is the expectation of patronizing a diner, but we really don't see these two groups interact beyond that. True, they inspire Ruby's interactions with Steve, but I get the feeling if the opponents were taken out of the comic entirely, whether these epiphanies could've been met between these two regardless of who came in. I love that you afforded your opponents the spotlight, but I wonder if it was at the detriment of not really getting to know your own. I certainly wanted to see more and hope we get more of a deep dive if y'all head onto round 2

Definitely an eclectic dive into different genres, scenarios and narratively sound reasoning to do away with colors! I very much enjoyed your own take on shoujo manga style. And the highschool setting and school activity challenge was very in keeping with who you're up against and fit your characters so well in their respective reactions. It's not easy to showcase an ever changing stage and environment but you two handled it with such finesse I found myself really enjoying what you were going to hit us with next.

You can really tell the highschool setting was your bread and butter and I'm glad we lingered there to really build up a story. I especially dug the nightmarish black smears on the faces of the other students and the monstrous amalgamation we're introduced to. You have tremendous output with two of you, and a clear groove with what you showcased round 1

Short and sweet!!!! This is such a heartwarming little comic. I really love how understated this is. We see so much high-stakes conflict and complex plot shenanigans in OCTs that I forget how much I like slice of life stuff, and as slice of life goes, you knocked this out of the park!! I'm so, so impressed by how effectively the comic communicates visually with so many things left unsaid. Show don't tell at its finest!! I also adore how the humor plays up Daisuke and Nyaomi as the "cringe and embarrassing teenagers" but in a completely wholesome, non-mean way. I want expensive ham!

What a fun and spooky story! Absolutely insane how much you managed to fit in here, from heartfelt character moments to engaging action pieces to super fun jokes and references to a whole nightmare cube horror premise. It's also crazy how you managed to polish a comic of this length to this degree in two weeks!! The two of you are so strong with panelling and composition, plus the super dynamic action bits, and the comic really feels like such a perfect synthesis of your styles and strengths. And turning the comic into a halftone B&W manga (replete with outfit swap!!!!!) is utterly genius. ALSO TRUE, Steve looks very handsome!

Good comic here! This is a very good show-don’t-tell kinda story, the resolution isn’t spoon-fed to the audience. The color values are good, dipping into deeper values but still having enough highlights to be vibrant
I think you could make your word balloons a bit larger and let your text have more room to breath, as they are right now, they blend in a little too much to the background. And maybe it could benefit from pulling out a bi, I noticed there’s barely a single full on shot of a figure from head to toe - not that having that is of vital importance, but I think it’s good practice to include shots like that so that the audience can get a mental note of the characters form, makes the comic more dynamic.

This is some really strong stuff here. 6 pages of scroll format with consistent quality of art and writing in 2 weeks is no small feat, even with a 2 person team. Its paced great, the stylistic switch up from color to manga grayscale is fun and a great way to narratively explain a time-saving procedure. Only note I can think of is that, when doing a black white BG panel for time or just cus that’s how it was planned out, it’s prudent to have stronger values on the foreground character, some shots had nothing but lifework and it got quite flat, even just a solid tone over the whole figure or in the background can work.

I love the great little moment you both made with this comic its brief and I like that its unique that neither side is conflict/teamed up but this meeting between strangers helps push your 2 characters plot points forward. The brief interaction works well for these characters I think as they are pretty open to being whacky with a good pinch of real world relativity of being in that weird teen emotional high and lows that we have all gone through. Last but no least I thoroughly enjoyed the art on display here your tones and colors as well as backgrounds are amazing to look at and every page is a treat! and I really liked the hand holding panels and expression of emotions you were able to give from Ruby and Steve, better still with two characters with covered/robot faces. A great and enjoyable comic that I cant wait to see more of!

Shheesshhh this was a whole damn adventure and I loved every dang panel of it!. I love the great use of black and white for story purposes as well as the great nostalgia and (surprising dread) you were able to utilize for story telling purposes! the comical nature of Nyaomi and Daisuke is an amazing feint masking how menacing they can be under the right circumstances. I will say though I wish the nightmare school was explained just a little more and some of the sequences are amazing but left me really wanting to know what was going on in this school! I hope to see more of this angle follow up on later maybe?

The visual sensation of French champagne has always been celebrated for its excellence. There's a Canada champagne by Dream and Ninja, inspired by that same French excellence. It's fermented in the paneling, and like the best French champagne, it's emotionally dated. Dream and Ninja's superb taste shouldn't be too surprising: This champagne doesn't come from France—but it was created by a man who did: Dream and Ninja. Dream and Ninja will sell no wine before its time. The blissful silence of two couples, one in happy synchronicity and the other completely aware of their own friction without being able to label its cause, truly sparkles. The storytelling here feels oddly incomplete, not due to lack of action or emotion, but exploration. What memories could be missing feel unimportant. But even so, the reveal has weight to it.

Experts will tell you they drink UncleCucky and CajamaPat's Pinot Chardonnay because of its full varietal line weight, brilliant color and long pleasant finish. What they mean is...it looks good. UncleCucky and CajamaPat will sell no wine before its time. This bit is getting a bit long in the tooth, or at least in the draught. The adventure here is raucous, charming and havocful. The only issue identified is that of timing: pages would find their beat to end, but continue nonetheless. Which is to say: pages could probably be broken up more to properly convey emotional beats and story twists. But even so, the comic feels unexpected at very turn and satisfying with each twist.

I have to tip my hat to you that you did a fully colored comic and I like the way your opponents characters fit into your comic. I think one complaint I have is your characters interact a lot with Ruby but I am not sure they ever said one word to steve and I just dont feel besides the diner you didnt really use your oponets in a way that really showed off their traits, but I must say I do like the way your characters interact a lot with each other over all was cool to see but I wish there was a bit more!

This comic was so much fun to read I love how your characters bounce off of each other is sooo fun to see I love the little tics like Ruby calling Steve Steven also the plot is a lot of fun and makes a cool mystery how or what the place they are right now, I will say it is a bit strange your opponents feel a bit like NPCs with not much character to them but maybe thats just the setting seeming to imply that they are just memories of those characters in a personal hell, Im really excited to see more!