Oculama

The quiet nature of this comic is really interesting, while it deals in monsters and hunters it has a great small, personal quality to it. T-Shirt's monstrous presence is ominous, but they never stop feeling like a kid who doesn't know themself or the world they're corrupting. The ending being both characters unable to really mete out the violence to deal with each other is unexpected, but fitting for two children especially. The paneling here is good, but I think you should experiment with your gutter space and seeing about combining panels where you can, to really get as much as possible from each page. Excellent!

The timing on this comic is fantastic, while there is a bit of dialog the story is all told in very careful camera shots and long panel sequences of just mood. The slow discovery of what's really wrong with the clerk is extremely well done, and turning it into a punchline of beating that monster down is a great twist. The comedic beginning and ending both work, but admittedly the transition from horrific setup to comedic beatdown is a bit jarring: especially because T-Shirt's scene feels like it has a missing beat between finding the missing clothes and getting back on the bus. This is just a matter of timing with the two. Beautiful!

IMMACULATE stuff here - your shadow and light work are on point on every page in the convenience store, and the atmosphere you cultivate with the darkness and the spares illumination is strong stuff. Your compositions are equally effective at building the spooky setting vibes. The faraway shots showing off the empty corners of the space (page 3 especially, with t-shirt in front of the vending machine - the low-angle coin roll panel might be my favorite).

I do think there's space for t-shirt to be more actively used in the comic here - one on hand, I appreciate that t-shirt is uniquely places among the people on the road trip to see the signs of something horrifying underway and walk away, but it does leave a bit of ambiguity as to t-shirt's magnanimity that I'm not sure serves the comic that well.

The thing about this comic that impresses me most of all is how extraneous the dialogue is. Not without value, certainly - it's all quite tidily written and well placed, but the story of Jennifer and Chris having a Supernatural-esque encounter and missing the bus, tells itself so marvelously.

Nice work here, and a really fun OC!

(Also kudos on having the guts to make called shots on who would win each round on the last page there - I genuinely appreciate the confidence, and you'll have my respect if you have it right~~~)

This one's got a lot of meat on it! I like your art style quite a bit - it reminds me of nineties-era David Willis "Roomies!". You've got facial expressions and composition on lock, and your character's emotions come through strong on every page.

There were a few parts where I think small fixes could aid the flow of the comic. The first and easiest to remedy is that Chris and Jennifer saying "so..." does not read as simultaneous, since I'm reading left-to-right; I'd recommend tweaking the layout of the bubbles to remedy. I had to double back on both first reads of the comic when I got to the part where Jennifer tells Chris to get away from T-shirt cuz I didn't parse the illustration of Chris from behind as a person, so it seemed like he appeared next to T-shirt *after* Jennifer warns him to step away. Finally, I'm at a loss to explain exactly how the conflict resolves on page 5 (panel 2 specifically, I'm not quite sure what I'm looking at) did T-shirt just suddenly stop attacking? Did Jennifer freeze T-shirt? Did T-shirt get entangled in the twine? It's a nice build-up to the fight, with some really interesting panels on the last page, but it could parse a little smoother.

There's a lot to like about your writing here. The OC personalities come across strong, not just through the art, but the dialogue and reactions to one another - I get a clear picture of the proactive and righteous Jennifer, the much less aggressive Chris, and the mellow but easily riled T-shirt. I like that Chris and Jen do read very convincingly as bored kids on a car trip, but make the switch to danger mode with a swiftness that really clearly gets across that they are used to the supernatural. You've written T-shirt very convincingly as well - the tragic kid who doesn't want confrontation but doesn't really have the social/ emotional tools to de-escalate someone approaching them with hostility like Jennifer does.

Had a fun time reading this one; great r1 comic!

LOVED THIS ONE omg, your shading and use of lighting is amazing, and the pacing is super ominous, really good job setting the tone here and that lost and found reveal gave me chills dhkdhgkdfg loved the switch up at the end showing off some baddassery from Jennifer and Chris plus seeing all the other characters was super cool! very fun seeing them all in your style, makes the road trip feel much more lively and lifelike <3 excellent work, i can see all the hard work paid off!

I don't have too many critiques for this comic, super solid writing throughout, and very established backgrounds. My only nitpick would be that we didn't get to see very much characterization from T-shirt, im very curious about their character and personality (aside from vaping, which we all know is SUPER COOL lol). Still, very enjoyable read, and super great artwork, keep up the good work <3

SUCH A GOOD COMIC! very well paced, loved T-shirts reaction to Jennifer's advances, and the effects on T-shirt were amazing! your combination of traditional and digital is so cool and its giving me tons of inspiration kjhkjdhfgk
excellent work this round!!!

again i love the combination of traditional and digital, but my one complaint is that we didn't get to see more of it! I was super looking forward to some extreme light/dark values being used to denote special effects (Jennifer's magic or T-shirts smoke)! Additionally, i think some clarity of form could've been added by blocking in some light and dark values (but i do understand that is difficult with a traditional medium). Other than that, i love the writing, especially how you characterized t-shirt with such little context about their character! You wrote a some very compelling dialogue with very little to go off of, thats impressive! overall it was a very entertaining read and Im definitely interested in where Chris and Jennifer go from here! <3

(note: so sorry I think i spelled Chris's name wrong in my first review! oops!)

I love to see such a simple and effective example of what comics should do- show don't tell. The conflict with the creepy rest stop monster and Jennifer and Chris subsequent battle keeping them from getting back on the trip was SUCH a clever move. Even more so with the creative way of depicting it through the windows of the road trip bus itself. That kind of panel progression was inspired. I can't get over how much I enjoy the mystery of your character face covered by vape smoke or hair. They really lend themselves to the spooky atmosphere you're brewing for round 1. I hope to get the willies come round 2!

Lovely angles and impressive scan work of your traditional pages! In such a digital work age, its great to see the grit and organic movement or traditional media on the page. I was rather enjoying your black and whites as is, so the inclusion of digital coloring as an accent I don't think was really needed, apart from standing out from your flow in an odd way. Speaking of black and white, I like how you utilized the 'white out' effects of T-shirt to telegraph their insidious effects spreading in the environment. If I had notes, I would encourage you to really go to town on some spot blacks and fills- especially if you're working without any gradients or color values. It'd make your inkwork really pop and stand out.

Honestly, your work in the traditional medium is excellent! You create a very clear and concise image in a medium with little room for error or cleanup. Your lineart is incredibly expressive and well-detailed, able to create clear, focused shots with a somewhat dynamic panel structure. I really enjoyed the interactions between Jennifer, Chris, and T-Shirt. I'd honestly love to see more of Jennifer and Chris, their very premise sounds like it could be a fascinating story just on it's own! My only real critique is that some of the later panels are a bit confusing in what they're meant to convey, mainly the first two on the last page. Overall incredible comic, and I can't wait to see what comes next!

Incredible comic! The visuals were absolutely lovely; The setup and attention to backgrounds was really excellent, and the comic made excellent use of only black and white colors, with really good contrast to create a scene that felt just as vibrant as one with color, but still able to convey the tone of unease and horror. I also really enjoyed the crowd shot at the beginning, great way to rope the other competitors into the comic! My only real critique is that the actual story felt a bit empty; Both of the characters didn't really interact with one another, and the actual subject of the comic, world's largest Thing, felt like a bit of a prop than the focus of the story. Overall, great comic!

The juxtaposition of the tones in this is fantastic, the goofy-ass attraction next to the obviously sinister gift shop is great setup. Through the middle of it the tension builds up really effectively, and the way T-Shirt just kind of watches it build up indifferently is a nice character revelation that's both parts funny and ominous. The final joke of them just beating the shit out of the monster is an amazing payoff and a solid ending that resolves the tension hilariously. I also love the smaller foreground details of the last page, part for the cameos but also I just really like getting to see all the weirdo characters just being regular people for a minute, it's nice.

This was such an interesting take on T-Shirt's character concept, pushing it closer to an existential horror but with the added little tragedy in how it creates a conflict that the kid doesn't really want. That subtle variation in the color of the background is also a perfect way to show it off visually. The tone is nicely balanced out by mixing in some relatably mundane road-trip flavor - the reaction to the Ball of Twine being just a mild "oh, neat" is kinda great, it's a fun character beat and the contrast makes for an interesting transition when Jennifer launches into her super serious fantasy monologue right after. Seeing how immediately Jennifer went on the attack against T-Shirt has me really interested to see how she interacts with everyone else, and to have Chris react like this is something she does every other day, I love how much that implies about the characters.

a very cute amount of Cameo's i like how that seems to be a fairly re-occurring theme with a good bit of these comics.

This comic felt like it 'understood the assignment' very good, possibly the best of the one's i've read so far (im going down the list in order so people below your matchup arent counted yet) where the pacing is just perfect for having a weird fucking encounter at a gas station while everyone peers at some dumb tourist trap outside.

Its great save for one akward bit where, see when i read it it really seems as if the kids and The Vape Freak™ are going into the same door, and i got real confused at how that worked for a bit before realizing theyre going more into the hall than the first door of the Lost-n-Found, other than that real good n moody!

A good bit of this may be sketchy but at least your comic and art style does a good bit of conveying stuff in a clear enough way to make this a perfectly digestible comic, save for one bit at the end with the actual attack that she pulls off against T-shirt, i don't actually know whats happening there but everything is pr good otherwise so just keep at it and keep refining ur style, im sure shit will work out if you just keep at it!

Also one gripe with the writing is that you likely dont want to rely on having the characters explain their bit in the comic dialogue itself, it can kinda be a vibe killer

Really nice slice of ennui. I love the monster you made in this comic, really working for me. Of everyone in the tournament so far, yours feels like a really genuine way to miss the bus given the character motivations and everything else, so great work on that. T-Shirt hasn't said a word yet, but I love the feeling - especially the sketchy hair. Overall, if these are the themes you'll be working with in future comics with them, I'm here for it. On the whole, you could have added a few more tourist trap details to the walls (more merch to sell, etc.), but I really liked what you did here. Great work.

These were really great photographs of your comic. While I recommend investing in a scanner in the future, whatever you did when taking these shots - keep doing that. Go back and do that to everything you've done so far.

The comic was cute. I liked the interaction with the characters and while the time frame was probably tight for you to deal with, I suspect you're wanting to engage in some action. Even if you didn't get to that action, you have the build-up to a fight pretty well. I think if you're going to work in traditional media, you should invest in some brushes and inkwash to help fill up your spaces. Colored pencils and markers are very involved and while can make a nice effect, requires a lot more time than given. Still, nice comic! Good work!

from the jump I really like the simple and clear setup of the prompt and that great lineup of the tour group is really great( thank you for the cameo. no brownie points though! <3) the artwork is excellent and I love the greytones/ architecture and the way you captured the sometimes uneasy feeling that goes with random roadstop shops and used it to your advantage. I would say the lack of interaction between your opponent is something I normally dont like but due to the nature of your character the whole situation is technically the interaction which is very clever. speaking of the situation its a great idea but I think could do with a little bit of explanation but doesn't truly need it. The pay off of jennifer busting out of the garage beating the monsters butt is great and was so sudden and quirky I couldnt help but laugh. a great comic from start to finish

A solid start that keeps the focus on your OC pair and the direct interaction they would have with T-shirt with a solid understanding of the character and their motives/lifestyle that I think ifs very believable and comes off really well. I was a bit sad not to see the throw down happen at the end but I dont think it was needed and was cool enough on its own. I think you utilized the prompt quite well for it to push the plot along and cant wait to see more of your pair cross paths with the rest of the tour crew!