Which isn't a lot but the fact this happened back to back is very concerning. My hand is in so much pain. Ow.
Voting is closed.
Pengogo
The coloring in this comic is so moody, it's dark and ambient when it wants to be, but that green adds such a good beach bod whimsy. There's a lovely little sense of mystery and tension throughout, with the chase especially. As for critique, the paneling is sort of empty, and while the building of the mystery is fantastic, it also means there's not much resolution to this comic. The slow burn of a mystery still has a lot of appeal though, so it's more a gamble than a flaw. Starting the whole thing with such a comedic mix-up is especially fun. Lovely!
Pengogo
The compositions here do an amazing job of controlling the scene. The timing is so precise, the combating energies of Beach Bod's fantastical fun little adventure and Edward's deadly serious mystery are always at full power right next to each other. The colors support that extremely well, especially in page 3 with the cutting panel scene. The amount of implied story, unsaid but so clearly portrayed, is astounding for a mystery. The dialog has a great energy to it, oblivious, melancholic, with still that great contemplative empty headed quality. Every time I go through, there's another detail to explore. Beautiful.
Ah! A caper! I really dig this setup of one of the road trip members being a key witness to another's detective character, and it makes me curious how the rest of the OCs on the bus might feature in future rounds. Having the first lead/ witness be a bit of a flaky lead works too, imo, if your plan is to ramp up in future rounds. BB's exodus from the comic is very graceful as well - I enjoy the comics where folks have figured out ways for OCs to depart of their own volition.
The absence of the road trip and bus until the 11th hour looms heavily over the comic, given the tournament theme. Ditto with the "world's largest" object featured not coming into play (and in fact, being something I entirely missed during the first read-through; certainly other comics failed to capitalize on the setting this round, but this is only one of two I can think of where I didn't register the presence of a "world's biggest" period, at least on the first read-through).
A lot to like about your art here - the shift from dimension to dimension is butter-smooth, and the demarcation between the realms is nicely handled. The subtle shadow-work on the last page isn't obvious, but adds a lot to the sinister mood of the cliffhanger-ish ending. Your expressions, without getting more detailed than the rest of your style could accommodate, conveys am impressive range of emotion, from frustration to mischievousness to grim determination. Not always easy, so well done there!
Very cool overall, and would be interested to see more of Edward's sleuthing.
Woof! When I say this one sent a shiver down my spine...
I'm impressed with your writing here on a couple of fronts. For one, you keep the lightheartedness of BB in place while losing none of the grim noir energy your opponent's OC brings to bear. The contrast, which could easily be jarring, instead serves to bolster each character's presence in the comic as complimentary colors might, as BB's injects a bit of hope the keeps the scarecrow murder plotline from being relentless bleakness, and Edward grounds the comic in a way that makes BB's more chill vibe feel all the brighter and more meaningful. That BB also contributes substantially AND inadvertently to the investigation feels completely write, and as I type out this review I'm realizing more and more just how impressive a yarn you wove in only four pages.
The art is standout for me for a lot of similar reasons. The contrasting muted colors of the noir elements make the bright sky and afternoon/ dusk colors POP. Not only that, but the darker elements lend the brightness a (very light) bit of sinister-ness up front, while melding nicely into the dusk scenes on the back end. The panel composition is laudable too - Edward's corkboard panel on the first page might be my favorite, but the photo and cell phone paneling are spiffy too. (Props also on the missing poster easter egg - completely missed it on my first go-around!)
SupremeKrispyKreme
The comic made a sound use of visuals and contrast despite a lack of color, as well as an interesting panel structure that flows nicely and is easy to read. I liked the interactions between the detective and Beach Body, and how it is connecting into a future interaction and mystery for the character. My only real criticism is that the actual prompt for the round was hardly featured at all, other than a brief piece of paper at the very beginning. While it fills the bare minimum of featuring it, the actual story treats it more as set dressing for the characters' future story as opposed to it's own merits.
SupremeKrispyKreme
This comic was very cute and fun! The colors were delicious and the panel layout was excellent, the lineart being perfectly outlined and the background colors being a fun painterly texture. The interaction between the funloving beach body and the super stoic detective were also excellent, with a turn towards the macabre towards the end, in a way that used the Detective's motive in an interesting way at the end. A side note, but I also appreciated how Beach Body's shirt changed between two panels, I thought it was an interesting little visual gag. Overall very fun comic! Can't wait to see more of Beach Body!
great work in this one, really nailed the noir vibes, and great hints at more plot to come! im invested in the overall story now 👀 great work! <3
I really like your use of color in the background to denote the lighter first half with the thematically darker second half; it does a great job setting the tone. During my read though, I had some confusion visualizing some of the backgrounds. Using some flat colors to distinguish background elements would really help draw the eye towards the brightly colored characters in the foreground! Still a very moody comic with a lot going for it! i definitely enjoyed this one, great work! <3
holy shit this was such an adventure!!! the amount of plot you managed to cram into only 4 pages is so fucking insane, despite being so bright and colorful this comic was super moody and dark i love it!!! the painterly style was super charming <3 your paneling style is so creative and your integration of BB's inner monologue into the outward diolague was super fun! The shift from day to night throughout the pages was super clever, and though the vibes came through from the start, i didnt actually notice it until my most recent readthrough. Honestly an insanely fun read and i hope i to get to see more from you! great work! <3
In terms of critique, I honestly dont have too much to offer here, I think the pacing, artwork, and writing were all extremely well done. My only (very) minor critique is that we didnt get to see much of edward's supernatural ability or eyes, but even so i think the comic flowed extremely well without it. Excellent work!!! One of the best this round I daresay <3
I know you rushed this one, and it shows.
The art is sketchy and the colors are imprecise, the writing also suffers. I would recommend not storyboarding before you script in the future. Edward's inner monologue and outward dialogue is on point, but Beach Body's is a bit more of a swing and a miss. A lot of her dialogue feels stilted and out of character. "You looking for the assault guy?" and "Freaky bastard I dare say." feel like the biggest offenders, Beach Body just doesn't seem like the type to, generally use the word "assault" or the phrase "I dare say".
Where to start with this one. So many little details adding up to an excellent final product. The art manages to be somehow both vibrant and moody, Edward looks intimidating as hell, and the story, where to start with the story. So much is visually communicated, and it builds on the dialogue so well, Edward's mission, at least in broad strokes, is communicated simply and effectively with the visual of the map with the lines on it. The Missing posters near the "world's largest" corn maze are an excellent little piece of blink-and-you'll-miss-it foreshadowing, as is the shirt and hat on the scarecrow.
Beach Body's cheerful obliviousness is such a good counterpoint to the deathly seriousness of the actual story unfolding around her, too.
This story earned perfect marks in my book.
Way to cook up an intriguing whodunit mystery for us to pore through. Considering this is a comic, I do wish you'd shown more than told. I would've loved to have seen visual details on the case alongside our biggest tourist attraction and some relation to it if any. If I had notes it'd be to show some love to your backgrounds and environment as you do your characters. Seeing as the overall theme of this tourney is a road trip, the sights should be center stage for the characters to interact with. As it stands, with how minimal your environmental elements are, more often than not I'm not sure where the characters are
Love LOVE your fun variety of paneling page to page and pushing what that represents. From maps routes to a cell phone and even photographs. That's definitely a super fun way of breaking up your paneling in a narratively driven way that makes looking the overall comic super fun. Also the spooky implications of the corn maze scarecrow and the missing persons is such a rad way of showing a lead on a mystery as opposed to telling. I think it was enhanced by the fact your character didn't have the faintest idea of what they'd taken a picture of. Really fun read!
Interesting to start a comic out in this tourney with trying to set up a mystery, i do like how they set this up and make me wonder how it would pan out in future rounds, although the rush-ness of the comic does hold it back, i do wish we coulda seen Edward in the setting that was established, mostly because if im correctit doesnt really feel like it plays with the prompt at all? which was "The Biggest of Something", but maybe that was just something i missed in the content of the comic itself, would have loved to see more polish on this!
OOOOOUUUUUUUUUUU WHAT IS THERE TO SAY WHAT IS THERE TO SAAYyyYYYYUhhh that hasnt already been SAIIdDD YES i fuckING LOVE this comic i was legitimately, actually hooting and hollering at every goddamn page they were so intelligently laid out and the writing was so tight and concise LETSFUCKING GOOO i love it i want to see MORE BEACH BOD and the inclusion of the opponent and their aims and that leading to them willingly leaving the bus of their own accord was GENIUS OOUUU OU OUUWWWOOOWWWW im hype. Its so complete and polished too? Absolutely beastly chunk of comic and only 4 pages is the cherry on TOP!
This was an amusing little comic - I think a longer deadline would have benefited you, but can't choose these things in tournaments. With that out of the way, I think Mr. Matrix strikes me as a character that you could do a lot of interesting writing with. I think you got very tied up with your plot that you missed out on the main themes of the tournament a bit, which could work but it was lacking ab it for me here. I still want to see you do more of this style of comic and writing however - I think noir and crime comics are very underrated. Keep it up!
Man, 4 pages and you decimated it. This was awesome and I loved the rendering you did on everything. The color choice was really excellent and how strong the storytelling was. Beach Body being relatively kept in the dark from Edward's investigation and him just being a weird intense guy was a solid choice and I love all the expressions you made. I want to see more of Beach Body after this tournament is concluded, because they're a super endearing character who seems fun. I really hope that we learn more about them in this tournament! Excellent work from you!
Oculama
Round One's Theme
WORLD'S BIGGEST X: A pizza, twine, a pumpkin, a swine. Whatever it is, we have the largest, and people flock from miles around to see it.
Comment posted: June 23rd, 2024 at 2:08 AM