Oculama

Having read a fair bit of your stuff over the past few years, I can say without equivocation that your storytelling is growing noticeably in strength and clarity.

There's a bunch of bits here that I still find very funny in a clever sort of way through multiple re-reads. The conceit of Sif and JaJa sitting around and stuffing themselves on apps is funny enough, but then learning that that same restaurant is a front? Well it's not quite crossing the line, but it does tickle my funnybone. I also found the idea of the rose field being set into the battledome facilities like it's an amusement park attraction to be pretty funny. It's a medley of the fantastic and the mundane that I really enjoy, just like I enjoyed the idea of JaJa having to dip out of the tournament for tax-related reasons.

One thing I'd strongly recommend focusing on for future comics would be ensuring your characters are visually distinct at a glance; you're doing a nice job adding flourishes that help indicate who is who, but given the paucity of detail on a lot of your figures, it can still be something of a challenge to identify who is who easily, especially when the action starts to get visually cluttered. It's not just making sure each figure looks distinct, but also making sure they are recognizable for who they are to readers who have only seen other artists illustrate them.

That said, your larger-scale panels remain very easily parse-able, and you are doing solid work with the scene-setting artwork, like the batttledome facilities and the Looter's exterior shots.

Overall, really excited to see where you're at currently, and where you can still go with your comic-crafting. Keep up the good work!

JaJa! I'm very happy to see this scrappy boxer back in the comic ring, so to speak; it's been too long~

Very brisk action here; you've got a knack for conveying the physical actions/ events of a comic in a way that keeps the events of a comic moving forward at a steady clip, which is on full display here.

There's a lot of individual panels here that you've done a terrific job of posing the OCs in. Page-by-page my favorite would we 1) Sif looking up in horror as the ring plummets to earth 2) Sif's pose on the bottom of the page as she mentions studying the lore, and 3) the aborted flashback panel at the top. All properly amusing and/or striking as the story calls for. I also got a big kick out of the low-angle panel of the flower field that you open the comic with; great scene setting, and shows off the nighttime lighting you opted for, which serves your comic very well, visually.

I like the seriousness you've worked into your portrayal of Sif quite a bit, as it contrasts nicely with JaJa's more plow-forward enthusiasm; the contrast has a lot of potential for an engaging showdown.

Not entirely sold on "didn't read up on my opponent" as a plot point, if I'm being completely honest. It feels like a disservice to both your opponent's OC for reasons I hope are obvious, as well as a disservice to your own OC, who gets robbed of opportunities to be a more memorable and involved part of their own story.

Great work here visually overall; great to see Jaja get some more screentime, and hope to see more of her in the future!

hey thanks for using my location in your comic its a shame that it couldn't be as finished as im sure you were planning on it being!

A lot of the stuff is un readable and i am not exactly able to parse who or what is going on and the color choices dont exactly make it more clear, especially with regards to the big robot character? i think? i didnt exactly know what was happening this part but im sure there was one at some point. good luck in your next comic man! cant wait to you improve !

JAJA WIT DA ZAZA?! ! AWOOOO Okay i got that outta my system, i need to say that for mental clarity. The three pages you have are funny and i love that trope of needing to run, so you just interrupt someone else's monologue.

Having her be in a rush contrasting with this beautiful background thats clearly made for a more serene moment is fucking hilarious, throwing the fucking RING, INTO THE MIDDLE OF THIS AND TRYNA TURN THIS INTO A WARZONE? fuckin good shit. Go on, Jaja!! battle those babes forever more! cant wait to see more of jaja soon!

I imagine that you had to deal with some issues with fixing up your computer during the drawing period. That is unfortunate. However, the comic for what it's worth is a situation where less is more. I'll be using your opponent as an example here since they did a short comic that worked out pretty well. Just a simple 3 page fight without a reliance on a big story probably would have gone a long way towards helping you have a more finished feature. However, your story, what we get, is interesting. A big thing you want to avoid in general is having speech bubbles crossing over into the next panel or occupying a space over the gutters. Still, I hope we see you do some more comics sooner than later! Good work.

Nice work! I know you're pulled a few places for comics right now, so it was a smart decision doing it quick and simple. Simple stark black and whites worked just fine, although I think you could have used them a little more in a few spots, more shadows on the ground, maybe more interesting sky with a few white details, or some action lines in some spots. Overall, however, this is a solid little economical comic and a very good example that 3 pages are perfectly acceptable. Because even when you have two weeks to draw, doesn't mean you have to draw the entire two weeks. Nice work!

There's so much worldbuilding involved here, it feels like part of a bigger epic. While the outlines are a bit hard to read sometimes, the backgrounds and character art have great composition in a lot of shots, making the world feel full. There's a lovely amount of little character jokes sprinkled between the serious drama, made only more absurd in contrast by the choice of location. The narration at the end feels a bit sudden, a jarring amount of information to suddenly plug: the comic may have been made stronger by simply excising it and letting the scene end on its own. Wonderful!

Absolutely beautiful, love the anti-lore punchline. The action is quick but still feels dynamic, and the only real critique is that the small bit of fighting could have messed with the grid paneling a little bit more. The second panel is funny, but its placement and size don't show off the movement nearly as well as what comes before and after. But it's a small quibble for an overall very effective comic! The ring being tossed is such a cool little detail, the whole tournament feels charmingly slapdash and whimsical. It's a great setup for a tournament to come. Excellent!

Glad to see you've made it through round 1! I'll admit I always have an uphill battle when it comes to reviewing your comics, which may just be my own failing. There is so much visual noise with the style of your comics. I feel there is a place for it, but speaking solely for myself, I find myself more confused panel to panel as opposed to better informed. I find myself gaining context and understanding the story just reading your dialogue as opposed to the panel contents, which leaves me realizing I'm reading your side more like a short story than a comic which defeats the aim of comics in the first place.

These spot blacks and rich shadows are top notch. Its great to see such clean crisp inking page to page. I think you know what you're doing, so it'd be neat to see you push your ability into really getting in the details with the environment and sky. there's so much real estate there for you to be creative it'd be fascinating to see your take on it. Your action is punchy- literally and figuratively! Jaja is always such a good time and her exuberance really shines throughout. If there was ever a mascot for Battle Babes, it'd be her.

your world building and usage of the battlefield is great as always and you always make your characters/opponents/conflicts amazingly detailed which I really love about your comics! I would say this one is a bit on the wordy side(Ironic I know) but still works for the amount of info you give in the comic. I would say artwise I think filling in the colors of the characters would help to keep track of them better throughout the comics as it can be a bit hard at times for example when they are fighting the frame on the roof but I think just a variance of line color would help on that part as well.

Short sweet and as always humorous af lol! your artstyle is always clean and round/bouncy and I love it and your tones are always used to great effect and this one is no exception. I think its a bit meta for this comic but I does do wonders for the quick funny of the comic in contrast to the seriousness of the opponent but didnt give much time for Sif to do much before getting ABSOLUTELY SEISMIC SLAMMED into the ground. but still a great showing that leaves plenty of mystery and interest in a character thats already mysterious and interesting from previous entries. lovely work