Oculama

As usual your compositions are just top notch! From the library to the transition from book > game I loved the way you played with the paneling and colour schemes to indicate the change in setting. There are a couple parts that lose a bit of readability in the mix but nothing flow breaking enough that I was confused as to what was happening. Both characters got a great amount of screen time as well as a effective dialogue that showed the differences in their ideologies. I'm constantly impressed how you have effectively write this incredibly powerful character in Page that acts almost in a straight man capacity to constant weird situations and weirder people.

This comic is equal parts short and sweet while hitting some real relatable plot points. The idea of Time is used pretty expertly in the way you contrast Page's accelerated sense of time from her eons of life to Fleet's accelerated general state of being. Something you both seemed to hit well was this idea of Fleet as someone who provides Page with a different perspective either actively or passively but I think the book conversation here comes off as especially grounded and heartfelt. Plus the little punchline at the end is great but doesn't tonally derail the comic's previous exchange.

I'm a bit in awe of how many beats and emotional notes you hit in so few pages. There's a tremendous buildup in the repetition of the first few pages, a refreshing break in the introduction of Fleet as the new courier, a really heartfelt emotional uptick for Page with the meeting, and a *perfectly* dropped punchline to cap it all of (I ugly-laughed at that last panel). I'm genuinely at a loss of anything I'd change about this one after thinking about it for a while, so I think I've got to give it fives across the board. The art style perfectly fits the kind of story you've written here, your expressions are sublime, and the layouts are consistently interesting throughout. GREAT work.

Your flow has always been pretty slick, but I can feel how much better you're getting at it here. The jumps from location to location (and there's a LOT of them) are executed beautifully, from the terrific depictions of Fleet's super-speed to Page's well...pages. Fleet's irreverent influence in the text is a nice little treat, and demonstrates a great handling and understanding of your opponent. The action is for the most part nicely clear, the only spot of confusion I'm left with is the multiverse drone...is it still tracking them? I get the impression it is, but I feel a little unclear on that point. I do LOVE the design of the drone. It's characteristically slick, like everything in these worlds you bring to life.

Oh hell yeah, phenomenal use of a color palette in this comic! Loved how you highlighted the contrast in how Page and Fleet see the world. Man it was such a fun dynamic you made of the two of them and in just 4 pages! Really loved how you managed to make each panel fit well to their pages, nothing ever felt overcrowded. The use of repeat panels to show the monotony of page's experience was well planned, it was a really great way of reusing panels! Can't even express how much I hope to see jerry in the future comics haha! Man your art really killed it here, from the expressions to the speed lines, and even the final contrast of Fleet speeding away as Page is content to stand in place just nails everything all together for a excellent reading experience!

(oﾟvﾟ)ノ Monday comics! Wonderful artwork as always Monday, incredibly well done movement conveyed with minimum speed lines. Tbh honest the comedic bits are very enjoyable, from the discipline strike to the game console change. I super loved how you managed to do panel transitions with nonstandard paneling. How you drew the water and the bullets raining down was jaw dropping hahah! I'm definitely intrigued about what antagonistic force is represented by that robot, can't wait to see more of their deal in your comics. The Morrison Turner meeting being done through a book opening sequence was rad, Deus Ex Page Turner coming to the rescue is a welcome sight! Glad to see him making some new friends so fast! (●'◡'●) I can't wait to see h̴̢͍͉͔̍͐̂̚o̴̘̝̔̌̑̒̾̀̌̕ẅ̴̳̫̫̫̻͔̭̫́ l̷̜͈̹̱͉̝͇͉̞̪͕̩̥̲̈́̎̋͐͊̾͂̕ͅö̴̡̧͍̘̺̗̜͍̼͈̤̭̫͎̤́͂̿̾̒̈̆ṋ̵̡̡̰͈̼͕̜̩̥̺̣̻͓̳́g̷̡̡̧̞͕̟̼͙̯̲̘͎̰͎̖̈́͒̽̃͠ ̶̟̃̆͑͒̀̈́̍͛͂̆͛͛́͘͘t̵̗͙̠͖̲̃̈́̎͂͗́̾͐̒̒͝h̸͓͖͇̀̓͗̓͒̈́̌̾̌̒͑̏̓̓ͅi̸̛̯̝̽̍̐͆̾̽̍̚̕͘̕͠s̸̖͍͐͂ ̶̲̱̬̥̖̽̉̉͘ͅó̸̡̗̗̦͎̥̦͓̃̃̋ņ̸̡̧̦̬͕̹͚̯̫̤̼̓̑̑̾̇̏̚ȩ̷͔͍̙̫̃́͗̋̀͌̅̍̃̚͘͜͠ ̵̙͕̘̝̉̐̎̔̑̎̍͠l̴̤̘̠̜̮͈̳̟͈̇͌͂͝i̸̡̤͈͍̦͈̺̯͉͇͙͆̉͗̎̋͌̍͗͒̃̔͝v̷̧̠̝̮̣̎͆e̴͇̥̙̦͎̯͕̘͙̽́̀͒͛͛̇͝ś̸̰̗͇ how many new friends he'll get! For real though, great job, can't wait to see what you've got planned next!

Artwork:
The artwork was simple, clear, and very effective.
+I enjoyed the use of color throughout the comic to display passage of time and change of setting.
+The comic has a monochrome color palette and uses it well.
+The reuse of panels on page 2 is actually really smart. It conveys the sense of days blending into each other
- I feel like there's an overall stiffness to the comic that's difficult to describe. A combination of most poses being characters standing there (which makes sense before fleet is introduced) and most 'camera angles' being very similar. I feel like it could stand to be more exaggerated/cartoony in that aspect.

Writing:
The writing makes this comic.
+Idk how to say this but I love the sort of central 'conflict' of this comic. The way page sees himself as alienated due to his immortality and living 'slower' than others, and how the perspective of someone who lives faster than others can change that perception.
+The "I'm not jerry" moment goes hard.
+The writing enhances the sequencing of actions to make them more dynamic. When the art alone doesn't convey it.

Entertainment/Emotional appeal:
I left the comic feeling warm. It was a cute and heartwarming slice of life comic and I had fun reading it a couple of times.

Artwork:
+ Amazing illustration as usual
+ Page 2's shooting sequence is really well done, I audibly like gasped seeing it so that's definitely something.
+ I also like how the art style and paneling changes throughout.
-Page 1's scroll and paneling format makes it a bit difficult to read.
Writing:
Overall, the writing in this comic is lacking. I will not just be able to bullet point it because I feel like it warrants a long-form explanation.
Here's the plot as I see it:
The comic starts out introducing a conflict. There is a robot threatening the characters so they must escape. Conflict is dropped after page 2 when fleet is brought into the book by page. New conflict (?) is introduced as a conflict of personalities between page and fleet, so they jump through books, and then the conflict is resolved because fleet notices page's leg is missing.

Anticlimactic:
The first issue with the overall plot is that the original conflict is never solved, and the conflict that is solved is solved without any of the characters changing, and without any space to build up conflict. Mainly, this seems to be a pacing issue. I think there are two separate stories that each take up 2 pages, and neither gets a chance to really build up towards a climax and only one plot thread really resolves, leaving the resolution of the comic empty. A solution in search of a problem.

Lack of Continuity:
The second issue is continuity. I feel like each page is like its own little sequence, and doesn't fit into a coherent story. Like each page has its own conflict, its own little resolution, etc, and yet the dialogue is written as if they're supposed to be continuous. This could be cool if you leaned into it more and made each page a little strip worth viewing on its own, but for now, it hurts understandability.

Entertainment:
I left the comic feeling confused and that confusion got in the way of having fun reading it, but I still remained stunned looking at the art, and in that aspect I still had fun,

There's some really good use of art for storytelling here! The bit with the repeated actions was an effective way to show how Page's life has become routine, and I really like that being shook up with "I'm not Jerry." I also really like the zooming around the library and the speed effect as Fleet is running through the city.
I found the yellow color pallet a little eyestraining? That might be just a me thing though.
I like how you managed to find a common thread between two really dissimilar characters! The conversation between Page and Fleet is really natural and very sweet. The ending feels really solid and satisfying, and I think the wholesomeness of it makes "Fleet never returned the book" way funnier.

Really pretty art! Lots of good colors going on. I like how creative you get with your paneling. The running on water action sequence was very cool.
I was kind of confused by your story. It felt like you were referencing some lore or other comics that I'm not familiar with? I wanted to know why the robots were there, why the book was so important, and what Page's motives were. Is the creature in the library that is talked about in the first panel the robot that is chasing Fleet or another unrelated thing?
Fleet scribbling in the margins of the book was a fun bit. The videogame joke was cute! There's a lot of good setup for a longer storyline here if you can clarify some things I think.

I really enjoyed this comic. The story was heartfelt and a lot of fun, every panel was very readable, and I loved how these two characters out of synch with the rest of the world found some solace in each other despite their seemingly opposing powers. The story was funny and charming, and it left me wanting more of both characters, both in their solo comics and together as a duo.

There's not much to complain about, but I did notice some of the shortcuts you took with the art, and I found them somewhat distracting.

Altogether a very fun and heartwarming comic, and I'm looking forward to seeing much more of Fleet.

Monday artwork has always astonished me, and this comic is no different. Many of the panels in this comic, particularly the largest ones, are incredible artworks, with beautiful lines and unique use of colour. I've spent a long time just staring at these artworks. The panel borders stand out to me as top notch, so many of them are so interesting, fun, and pretty. Some of the artwork in you other panels, though, while good, are difficult to read at first glance. I had to read some of your comic more than once to figure out what was happening, particularly in the opening action scene

In terms of writing, while I enjoyed your overall story, and particularly the conversation between Page and Fleet, I also can't really tell what's going on a lot of the time. The overarching story is still something of a mystery to me.
Another minor issue I noticed is that the formatting of the text in some of your speech bubbles was inconsistent.

Overall, I really enjoyed this comic. Despite not really knowing what was happening a lot of the time, I was very happy to be taken through a series of beautiful images and a touching few moments between the two characters

You've done a really great job with capturing Page's aesthetic and personality in this first page and you've done a great job of establishing the passage of time in the first page in a really clever way with the repeat panels that deserves a nice tip of the hat! I honestly couldn't find a flaw in how you had the two characters interact and the dialogue between the two was very natural and fluid. Its an interesting premises the immortal being slowing living out their life interacting with a speedster that I so rarely get to see anymore so very refreshing. I didnt sense a real conflict between the two and I think it works as a friendly first meeting that really helps to show both characters of without the need for violence. Its great to see how your artistic style is changing as well over the span of all the other your other characters ive read and you did a very clean job with backgrounds/facial expressions/shades here that I think is stellar

Monday I'm always a fan of your style of drawing without lines as something uniquely exclusive to you from all the artist I've seen in my years and that remains true in this comic! your story while more of a "moment in an episode" than your opponents 3 act structure I think its still very well done and very easy to follow and I love how your panel framing transitions my eyes from scene to scene; for example page 3 at the top with the pages spelling out of the frame and the ornate framing around page that bottle necks into panel of his portrait. I also like the reality shift on display while Fleet and Page are talking its very impressive and well executed. the only part I think is sad is that the ending is great but the resolution of the murder bot chasing them is still unresolved

Wow. I loved the second page. I am always amazed and entertained when people manage to make page of repeating panels work for their narrative in such a way. I loved the writing for this, it was lighthearted but with a almost sad undertone that made you invested quickly. I have no real qualms about the art, its easy to read, its expressive, its pretty cute. The paneling is pretty damn good. I think it all served its purpose admirarebly and I enjoyed my read trough immensely. Also please follow up on his book theft! The late fees are gonna be killer!

I am always amazed by people who approach less orthodox or classical page structures and make them work to the degree that you do Monday. The flow of this is fantastic. Scrolling down the page is always a treat, with almost not a single traditional panel. Instead, you nail the feeling of a book, of a story being told as we scroll. Fantastic! Artwise, your loose, moody style always work to create a real mood within your story. I think however, that at times, things can get a little hard to read, some text is a little cramped and some shapes are a bit to abstract.

3GOBBOS-
Dig this color scheme instead of the usual grayscale. This yellowed palette gives off a brightness and subtle nod to electricity. Just something cheery to match with your character. I also dig the disparity you showcased between them! It was neat to see someone like Page turner represent the old world while Fleets just too fast for life, baby.

You clearly have your characters abilities in mind when composing a scene. The speed lines as they zip around the library ,to the cityscape make up of speed lines in your inkwork on page 4. All clever nods and methods to keep it too fast and too furious.

I'm wondering why the gutter margins of your page 2 differed from your other pages. It left me leaning in to enjoy your montage panel set up and wishing that you'd capitalized on the abundance of space to afford bigger paneling to see your scenes better. Just a thought!

MONDAY-
Is that an old Armageddon threat from yesteryear I spy? You're bringing all of the nostalgia it seems and not just with Page Turner. Ooo way to tug at me heartstrings!

I'm thrown by the fluctuation of your quality throughout. I'm guessing the deadline got the better of you considering how dense this is, but you still managed to get the base elements on the page! Even though it seems rough, the cityscape on page 5 is still striking.

Still though, the storytelling implements here centered around Turners function and the core of books is so good. I got real Neil Gaiman sandman vibes on page 3 when the pair found themselves at the park and Page is narrating the events by way of answer. You have a thread of plot here and I do enjoy your narrative meandering about to get there, but I'd be mindful not to get too lost in the sauce. All in all much of the hearty stuff I expect from you. Great work.

This is ironically and funnily enough a very slow comic for so far the fastest character on the site but it was really nice and wholesome and I loved the use of repetition to show the point of the mundane life on the repeatedly doing the same things over and over was a nice way to really show how your character changes things up and how good the interactions between the two are, honestly I really enjoyed it, I kinda wish your own character was in the comic a little more but I understand that they werent the focus of the comic but I do wish to see a bit more of them.

I find the use of Mono's and re interrupting them as this hunter drones for multiversal combat, I really like your art but I am not sure I fully understand the full scope of the story here and I feel my review reflects that, what interactions are there are really good and nice to read and I really enjoyed the aspect of the book writing its own response and writing in the third person, I felt that was a really fun touch and I liked Page_Turner smacking him for writing in the book but it was also a little confusing what was literally happening. Looks good hard to parse what is happening.

3WholeGoblins - This comic is NEAT - in every sense of the word. I am flipping through the pages and the art is so clean and consistent. It actually matches the mood of the library so well so I thought that was an interesting parallel. I can't pick a favorite page because they all looked good. However, those evenly sized panels and large border/margin on page 2 just feels so...Zen? For lack of better word haha. I almost want to print and frame it. Fleet and Page Turner seem like two completely different people at first glance so showing us that they find something in common is so great to see. I chuckled at that last panel. I knew things were going TOO WELL haha! Excellent work!

Monday - oh geeze..where do I start. Everything you do is epic. Your creativity is through the roof. I'll never stop admiring how dynamic your art is and how you've mastered this scrolling format. There are some inconsistencies in quality in some pages it did not take away from my enjoyment of the comic though I am a bit confused about the last panel. Did the giant bowling ball crash or were Fleet and Page Turner about to face it in battle or they did not know it was still on the chase (my guess is the latter)? I think this is the first time I heard about how Page Turner lost their leg and that blew me away. That was pretty brutal. I loved the 'Gameguy' sequence and I know this is just a teeny little detail but that shadow over the book on page 3 is so frikkin cool that it gave that panel a 3 dimensional feel. Again, it's always such a treat to see your work! Amazing comic!

A really charming story being told here! I think you've nailed your opponent, both in style and characterizations. The interplay between the two characters is lively and natural. A nice injection of humor throughout as well. Really clean and readable linework, and I think you convey the proper amount of weightiness to our resident speedster. Gobba go fast.

I'd like to see a bit of color variation, Even working with gradient maps, I though you can infuse a bit of emotional shift over time by tweaking the palette. There are a few spots where I think the perspective gets a bit flat as well. Great stuff overall.

Moody, atmospheric, esoteric. You have a truly unmistakable style, one of my favorites since first seeing your work during W4R. Your linework is always immaculate, with fantastic composition and delicious coloring. This is a really cool story, multilayered and with a few wrinkles along the way. The style shifts are very cool as well.

Speaking of esoteric, though, I do find this harder to follow than it needs to be. The grand, sweeping panels are a signature of your style, and I'd never want you to compromise on that, but it does lead to moments where the transitions are unclear and the thread from one beat to the next is muddled. Some extra dialog or narration would likely solve this for me!

Superb comicking as usual!