Oculama

This is one concise comic, y'all really got exactly what you wanted and wasted no space on filler. Every panel truly matters in this comic. I also really liked the splashes of colour we got to heighten the tension and feel of those threatening scenes. I do believe keeping it as pencils does hurt the comic, there's a few panels in which it gets pretty messy without having inks and more focused line work. I think there are times when it does really work in the comic like when Rafael is in the wolf form but when Renato is included in those panels you lose a lot of Renato. Having more finished inks and lines would help that and would add to those Rafael wolf scenes. I think you do alot of really good work with Rafael as the werewolf, way better than I could, I'm very impressed with every wolf panel. Only real thing is the lack of inks and sketches, if you advance to the next round if you get those in I'm sure yall would make a great comic even better.

Great work on this y'all!

This is a really charming great comic. There is something really funny about writing this review and seeing the Renato banner to the side whos all super cool and serious, and then in comic it's just like AH Baby girl!

I love the relationship between the two in this comic, it's a very strong base and you get alot of humour just from them being them. Operation get rid of alien freaks is a really dumb joke that lands thanks to the relationship built up in the pages prior. I think the comic could have used a bit of greyscale just to help out the backgrounds, the majority of the backgrounds are just walls with a few lines dividing them so there's not much going on there. The greys would just help push the characters out from the backgrounds and would look a bit nicer in my opinion. I think it is wild that yall just shot the two like that, the humour of the comic does help that land as it is a funny comic, you get a funny death.

All in all great comic, very funny. Nice work on this!

An interesting read! You guys had an interesting beginning to your comic, which provides probable cause for getting rid of those adorable alien siblings. I liked seeing the brothers' dynamic with each other and how the portrayals of their personalities. I think Renato is my favorite of the two. I liked his small "its us or them" moment on page 10. I feel that's a fairly human reaction during that kind of situation, which I always enjoy seeing. I also thought the sendoff for the alien siblings was pretty entertaining. I thought you guys would've merely sent them off into space before you brought out the big guns to take em out. That was a fun surprise! Renato's "I have a high score" comment was pretty funny and provides a small chuckle despite the tense situation.

Critique wise, I feel my biggest nitpick were your page compositions for pages 5 and 15. While I was able to get the general gist of the story, I find myself having to reread those pages as I got confused with how I was supposed to read the panel order, which kind of muddled the flow of the comic for me. This may be a personal issue as I was able to get it after the 2nd or 3rd read but its something I felt bringing up.

My other thing is there's moments where I felt certain scenes felt....lacking? Didn't have the impact as I would imagine they would. Part of it is may be due to page compositions possibly not giving enough room for certain scenes to play out. Another part may be due to the brothers' own reactions and expressions feeling a bit nonchalant. This applies particularly to the scene where Rafael got shot and is forced to lock himself in the room as he transforms to neutralize the poison. I understand he's a reserved character but he seems fairly calm about being shot and poisoned (without any antidote too).

Aside from all that, good read! :)

From the get go, I really like your sketches! The art style is real pleasing to the eye and Werewolf!Rafael looks so damn badass. While minimal on the colors, you really utilized em where it matters and I couldn't think any better opportunity than the expected death scenes, heh. Having Rafael kill his own brother in a werewolf frenzy? Brutal! (lovingly). I do wish there was a bit more polished look to the art as the backgrounds are a bit lacking (this is evident with the last page as I didn't even realize they were in the vents) and the action scenes felt less impactful than it should once you take the red away but what can you do? I'm also rather confused in what's supposed to be going on in the last panel of page 4. I would imagine its Renato firing his gun but next page shows Rafael having chomped on him so whatever happened might've flew over my head, haha

I do think my major gripe, however, is why did Renato have the jar of moon rocks on him when he went to go visit Rafael? While I understand the rocks were needed to get the murder plot going, if Renato went in just to check in on his brother, why bring the rocks with him, especially in something as easily fragile as a glass jar? With how easily triggered Rafael's lycanthropy appears to be, they seem they should be used for emergencies rather than something to carry around. I may be overthinking it but it kinda bugs me, haha

Gripes aside, this was a nice short read!

There's been a lot of solid situational horror in this first round of Hypoxemia, and you've brought one of the strongest examples thereof to the table. In this matchup of siblings, we get an engrossing interplay of presumption and fear.

The really gutting thing about the narrative for me is how Renato and Rafael are, at the end of the day, working off of their own paranoia and assumptions to kill two people whose actual culpability is completely in doubt, and whose lives they feel they have jurisdiction over based entirely off their confidence in their own correctness. It's a great horror trope that's applied here with a borderline blithe tone that for me only heightens the tragedy of what's happening.

Your dialogue flows nicely from start to finish; the interactions sound very convincing, and I especially enjoyed Renato's back-and-forth with the siblings; the tension, uncertainty, and distrust on both sides are palpable, and watching each side navigate this conversation that the reader knows will have dire consequences is a great bit of writing.

The execution of the in media res timeline is interestingly done. The pieces are largely all there for the reader to piece together, and feeling out the events that preceded this comic is a bit of fun that does add something to subsequent read-throughs.

I also like the "Specimen Z" framing if the story as well - the illustration of the sample up-front is absolutely gorgeous, and it's a really cool ingress into the "middle of the plot" style of storytelling you're shooting for here.

Nicely crafted story, and a very striking progression. This was a delightful exercise in being damned by the evidence, and I hope you are getting a breather after all your hard work, and thank you for sharing :)

This was a fascinating and very unique read. It's a nice bit of compact storytelling, and gets right to the point without bringing too much exposition to the playground.

The pacing is abrupt and jarring, which is the sort of pace horror wants to work at. In a space environment especially, even though the comic does not feature that aspect of the setting overmuch, the expectation is definitely for bad things to happen suddenly and explosively, and your comic meets that expectation right on the level.

Spatially, the close quarters of the comic feel proper for space horror, and make the escalating events feel fully inescapable, even at points for the characters who are initiating the horror of the situation.

The individual figures in this comic are the standout for me. It's perhaps the best and most expressive facial expression renderings that the entire first round of this tournament has to show. It's almost akin to watching a stage play with minimal set dressing, where the gestures and expressions of the characters carry the viewer through the actions that compose the plot. The Frustration, fear, and adrenaline of each character, whether human, alien, or canine, are striking and lend a lot to the storytelling.

The alien siblings' detachment from the larger violence (except for addressing it when it becomes practical to do so) is interesting, and something I found to be quite thought-provoking on subsequent read-throughs of the comic. It's a cool angle to have your characters be the harbingers and initiators of the horror in the comic, and it's frankly a really neat angle to attack the storytelling from.

Props and thanks for bringing such a cool pair of characters to the tournament; this was a cool piece to read, and a fun addition to the Ocu-verse.

I'm a big fan of this comic's compositions and you have tight character art complemented by strong backgrounds, really solid all around there

Under the assumption that the deadline crunch was tough and didn't give you guys the opportunity to fill the lines with shades/renders, that's a common enough struggle in tournaments that we all can relate to.

Given how polished everything else is in the comic, it draws the sound effects to attention to me: I would have liked to see them given the same tender care as the linework, lettering and everything else, as they are now they stand out particularly as rushed or not given enough thought.

That's nonetheless a minor and very rectifiable issue in an otherwise strong entry, good job y'all

I have to give props to some mighty fine pencil sketches of the characters here, your wolf drawings especially are gorgeous to look at. Lettering is also very functional which is most important for lettering.

Interestingly you have similar hiccups as your opponents, I'm guessing from time, in that there is an unfinished element here and some aspects like SFX are not where they should be to match the pencil quality. I bet with more time this would have looked really nice, good effort all the same for delivering what you got

I love the backgrounds, they are amazing and so well detailed. The lab is just so good. Also Raf has got the video game "something bad is about to happen" audio log style down. That being said, there feels like a missing plot point between the sample getting destroyed and deciding to get rid of the aliens. However, after all that is great with the alien siblings characterization and the mention of asteroid shooting high score. The only question I'm left with is why would the werewolf transformation help against the poison with all that we know so far about it.

The combination of hand drawn and digital is phenomenal. The color backgrounds are so so good and built tension greatly. The main critique I have is that the werewolf transformation comes out of nowhere(like maybe add a panel of Raf falling into something or a crash/glass breaking noise?) Additionally, the characterization of the brothers is very good and establishes their bond quite well. I enjoy the banter between them, but it feels odd when Raf suddenly transforms and all of that brotherly bond goes out the window. Also I wish there was more interaction between the alien siblings, however the bantering about not getting eaten by the giant werewolf made me cackle. Also the drawings of werewolf Raf are appropriately threatening and horrifying.

Some really fun panelling early on here! The way you used the twins "Classified Information" for the conflict and mistrust between the two groups was quite good.

I think there is too many words for explaining things near the beginning that could've been cut down. I also think that the character beats that went unused in the actual story could've gone unused fully if not integrated into the story, i.e. the Wife and Lycanthropy. I'm personally not a fan of "WHAT COULD HAPPEN NEXT TIME? FIND OUT ON THE NEXT ISSUE OF OCULAMA!" in OCT's b1ut that's just me. Would've been a bit more fun to integrate them and have the brothers lose control a bit more in the story than just have them trick and kill these aliens with no sort of Steel Manning the twins even for a moment.

Very impressive to get a whole 15 pages out though!

Short and sweet! Some beautiful drawings in here, and quite a fan of the coloured panels.

A "nobody is in control" plot is always fun and good in this bite size form for an OCT. However some points could've been made more clear, such as the jar shattering, or the kill(?) shot on the lycanthrope. I'm still not really sure what's fully on the go with the jar breaking and turning Rafael considering what HE says before he turns. The way the information is conveyed of "stuff in container makes Rafael wolf out" is done subtly which can be good, but in a bite size comic like this I almost want the information hitting me in the face. I'm undecided fully how I feel on that.

Ultimately a fun little comic, very easy to follow, and just long enough!

I think the best part of this comic was the writing for me. I enjoyed the lore you guys are building up around the alien and the interactions between Renato and Rafael were entertaining and grounded. The way they meticulously craft a plan to get rid of Takete and Maluma is fun to see, and the dilemma of "should we kill these child-like aliens" was also interesting.

The art was ok. The lines were a bit messy but still overall readable; I think you guys may want to practice your posing a little because things look "stiff" at times (like when Maluma leaves in page 10 and when Takete and Maluma first appear in page 7).

As a side note, I quite liked the font you guys used. Fits your art super well :)

The story here was fun! Short and sweet, nice balance between the two duos and good dialogue.

I think the only downside of this comic is how sketchy the art was. It looks nice at time but other times I have a hard time telling what's going on, especially with tiny details like expressions (in page 2 for example, I wasn't sure what kind of expression Renato was making in reaction to seeing Takete and Maluma). The backgrounds are also kind of empty at times so it just looks like they're fighting in a blank void. The fight in the chute was pretty creative though.

I also wasn't sure what caused Rafael to transform? Or what containers Rafael broke by accident. Was it a reaction to hearing Renato's mystery jar break? I can't tell.

That title page left me so stunned with how lovely your colors and rendering was. While your inks and paneling in the comic itself was a solid bout of inking, I found myself bummed it didn't reflect the detailing you put into that cover page.
Needless to say I liked the fried edges of some of your background and environment work if that makes sense. Where walls and ceiling didn't quite 'complete', giving an almost vignette quality to some of your scenes. I wish that was reflected across all your pages since its a great effect.
I also like that the twins threat isn't the only thing your space faring pair have to concern themselves about. Definitely an intriguing cliffhanger to be left on.

The sketchy pencil quality of your pages is a unique choice. Paired with your shading I think really enhances it. Total nitpick, but I'd love to see the panels themselves drawn with the same brush so it better fits with your style. I can appreciate the usage of color to intensify moments in your story, but I honestly think you didn't need it. Leaning into your grayscale shading I think would've emphasized big events like Rafaels transformation to be left white, affording a bigger impact. Still tho, Rafael as a beast is where your pages shine. The details like the wrinkling of the snout when they bite into Renato's neck, or the wild leap as they try to capture prey show a fantastic skill in creature detailing and design.
I like the creative use of the SFX fonts you found, but like your paneling, I think drawing these effects yourself would really match your pencil work better. THIS style is your strength- everything else should follow suit to enhance that, rather than distract from it by not fitting in

It's a bit text heavy but once I forced myself to eat my vegetables the comic was quite an intriguing read! I really felt for each character in this comic and I was on the edge of my seat waiting to find out how events would unfold and I was not disappointed! Maybe I'm just a sucker for morally dubious characters but I'm really curious to see what happens to Renato and Rafael next should they go on.

While the art is a little hard to follow at times the story was engaging enough for me to fill in the rest. The pacing is pretty quick and things seem to happen at random. It's hard in an OCT but make sure you always take into account the idea people may not read the character's bios before reading the comic. I enjoyed the fight scene in this! It has the franticness I would expect in such a situation and I rarely see in comics.

A very strong start and I enjoy your classic old school comic look as well with the great anatomy details you put into characters! story beats were great and I really enjoyed the twins banter with Renato and your setup at the start helped me really follow along with the plot as it progressed! I dont have many criticism on this one so overall a great first entry and Im excited to see where the plot goes from here!

I know time was a factor for all of us but I wanted to say that I really enjoy your soft pencil style even if it wasnt intentional! I think the semi story in progress is a good way to go and lets you dive right into encounters but also needs to have a bit of exposition tied to it because it sometimes implies we've missed an important first contact between characters or situations which can put a lot of heavy lifting on the dialogue that comes in the next few pages. While you did great with the humor of joking while running for your live before getting violently mauled to death, The Twins didnt say much or explain whats happening so far ( though I got the jist of why they are there from their character sheets)